# Really, really STUPID song lyrics. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 8, 2009, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350 "2009-01-08T06:53:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/21 "2009-01-09T12:36:10Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > The thing that really bugs me about that “fourth thing” line is the line before, where he was “looking at all the life…there were birds and hills and rocks and things…” > > Rocks are not alive!!! Technically, neither are the hills. Unless they’re alive with the Sound of Music, I suppose. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/22 "2009-01-09T13:09:26Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you [Desiree](http://www.lyricstime.com/melissa-desiree-life-lyrics.html): _I don’t wanna see a ghost It’s the sight that I fear most I’d rather have a piece of toast_ If your lyrical skills require you to rhyme “ghost” and “toast”, you lose automatically. The rest of the song is much the same. Also, the chorus goes “Life, oh life, oh life”. Because the song is about life. And stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/23 "2009-01-09T13:29:09Z")
No bad lyric thread should be without a mention of Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Virtually any song will do. _The dawn opened the play Waking the day Causing a silent hooray The dawn will break another day Now that it’s done Are we going to see the reason why I’m here_ Not likely, bub. (“The Endless Enigma, Part Two”) ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/24 "2009-01-09T13:43:55Z")
Porcupine Pie - Neil Diamond Now lock this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/25 "2009-01-09T13:50:09Z")
I’ll be damned! It’s a strange, strange world where ‘gripping oak’ does NOT refer to masturbation. > [@Gyrate](#): > > Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Desiree: > > I don’t wanna see a ghost > It’s the sight that I fear most > I’d rather have a piece of toast It’s been 5 minutes since I read this and I still can’t stop chuckling. 😃 This right here is THE STUPID. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/26 "2009-01-09T13:54:50Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > Porcupine Pie - Neil Diamond > > Now lock this thread. But what about Crunchy Granola Suite? “I am,” I said To no one there An no one heard at all Not even the chair ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/27 "2009-01-09T13:55:03Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > Porcupine Pie - Neil Diamond > > Now lock this thread. Nope, sorry! This won’t do at all. All entries require a summary or a quote to be considered for our Grand Prize of The Stupid™. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/28 "2009-01-09T13:57:46Z")
> [@Aankh](#): > > He’s driving along with a loaded gun on the seat next to him. Incidentally, he’s also masturbating. > […clip..] > Mr Chamillionaire’s **erratic** driving grabs the attention of the police. Misread that word 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/29 "2009-01-09T14:17:23Z")
> [@Aankh](#): > > Nope, sorry! This won’t do at all. All entries require a summary or a quote to be considered for our Grand Prize of The Stupid™. Ah, but porcupine pie, Porcupine pie, porcupine pie It weaves its way through my dreams And I do believe I’m gonna get one And leave enough room for dessert Chicken ripple ice cream ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/30 "2009-01-09T14:33:13Z")
Nothing is as stupid as any song entered into the Eurovision song contest. I watched the whole thing last year and it’s fucking fantastic, and by fantastic, I mean “so horrible it goes right to awesome”. I was going to let your google it yourself, but apparently I actually have to share in order for it to count. I’m sorry for doing this, people. Here’s are some of the lyrics from the winning entry, from Russia: \*Even when the thunder and storm begins I’ll be standing strong like a tree in the wind Nothing’s gonna move this mountain Or change my direction I’m falling off that sky and I’m all alone The courage that’s inside gonna break my fall Nothing’s gonna dim my light within But if I keep going on It will never impossible, not today\* For true schlock genius, look up the video of the performance, which involves ice skating on a tiny rink on a stage. **ETA:** Also, [Latvia’s entry from last year.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG1WZqHTLQU) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/31 "2009-01-09T14:37:49Z")
Think I posted this one in a similar thread before, but…All Saints, “Never Ever”. > [@](#): > > The alphabet runs right from A to Z **HOLY SHIT, REALLY?!?!!?** ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/32 "2009-01-09T15:05:43Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Think I posted this one in a similar thread before, but…All Saints, “Never Ever”. […] Later in the song “the alphabet runs right from A to Zed”. For that international feel. And Porcupine Pie and Chicken Ripple Ice Cream sound like items off the [tasting menu at The Fat Duck](http://www.fatduck.co.uk/menu_degustation.htm). That Heston Blumenthal - he so wacky. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/33 "2009-01-09T15:09:52Z")
> [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](#): > > The Killers’ “Human” > > “Are we human or are we dancer?” > > Uhhh… It’s allegedly based on a Hunter S. Thompson quote, although so far the only reference anyone has found has been The Killers. At least it’s not “Nine in the Afternoon”. ---
**Author:** ![johnspartan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@johnspartan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnspartan)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/34 "2009-01-09T15:36:12Z")
I always thought “For those about to rock, we salute you” is dumb — or at least really bizarre, in its specificity. Not those who HAVE rocked. Not those who ARE currently rocking. We don’t salute those who will be rocking in the near future. No sir, only those just on the cusp of beginning a session of rocking. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/35 "2009-01-09T15:39:06Z")
> [@johnspartan](#): > > I always thought “For those about to rock, we salute you” is dumb — or at least really bizarre, in its specificity. > > Not those who HAVE rocked. Not those who ARE currently rocking. We don’t salute those who will be rocking in the near future. No sir, only those just on the cusp of beginning a session of rocking. True, but you could have rocked before, and could be about to rock again, thus warranting a salute. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/36 "2009-01-09T16:15:52Z")
“In and around the lake Mountains come out of the sky And they stand there.” –Yes Er…okay. What \*else \*are they going to do? Of course, I always hear it as “mallards come out of the sky,” which actually makes more sense and conjures a much more amusing image. Whenever we hear that song, the spouse and I look at each other and go, “Quack!” ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/37 "2009-01-09T16:21:32Z")
“All the ways my mother taught me how, I want you now, I want you now” (Hawksley Workman - ‘Striptease’) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/38 "2009-01-09T16:41:05Z")
**Kyla** , that reminds me of David Cook’s Time of My Life. I love him and love the song but honestly, it’s like someone sat down to string together every inspirational cliche there is. Which is probably kind of what happened since it was a songwriting contest as well. [http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-time-of-my-life-lyrics-david-cook.html](http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-time-of-my-life-lyrics-david-cook.html) Holding onto things that vanished Into the air Left me in pieces But now I’m rising from the ashes Finding my wings And all that I needed Was there all along Within my reach As close as the beat of my heart ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/39 "2009-01-09T16:47:53Z")
There was a bad hair metal band that was a one (minor) hit wonder back in the day, called MSG. Their one hit was a song called "When I’m gone, which contained one of the worst single lines ever written in the history of lyrics: > [@](#): > > Your clothes are hanging on the floor. If they’re HANGING, they’re by definition not on the fucking floor, genius! ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/40 "2009-01-09T16:55:22Z")
Lucky Stars Honey that’s OK, I know your dumb, but you don’t have to look so glum. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350.md?page=3)