# Really, really STUPID song lyrics. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 8, 2009, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350 "2009-01-08T06:53:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Vox\_Imperatoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Vox\_Imperatoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vox_Imperatoris)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/81 "2009-01-10T21:27:38Z")
The ghost thing reminds me of the best Halloween song ever, (appropriately) [Halloween](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUw2UwuwpXQ) by Aqua. The lyrics aren’t especially bad except for, “Someone’s in here; I’m so full of fear!” No one says “full of fear”. Valete, Vox Imperatoris ---
**Author:** ![Shawn1767](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/82 "2009-01-10T22:07:15Z")
Mary and Harry DO rhyme in that their final sounds are both the long “e” sound. The rest of the word does not have to sound the same in order for it to be a rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Vox\_Imperatoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Vox\_Imperatoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vox_Imperatoris)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/83 "2009-01-10T22:12:32Z")
> [@Shawn1767](#): > > Mary and Harry DO rhyme in that their final sounds are both the long “e” sound. The rest of the word does not have to sound the same in order for it to be a rhyme. Shh! 😛 I thought about that, but I decided not to point it out. Valete, Vox Imperatoris ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/84 "2009-01-11T06:31:07Z")
> [@TheVioletCreep](#): > > How about Band of Horses? > > I could sleep…I could sleep! > When I lived alone, is there a ghost in my house? > > I don’t even want to begin pulling that apart. -\_-;; I think it’s parsed more like: _I could sleep, I could sleep when I lived alone! Is there a ghost in my house?_ Not that this improves things much. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Vox\_Imperatoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Vox\_Imperatoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vox_Imperatoris)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/85 "2009-01-11T06:49:48Z")
All of the songs by ATC (A Touch of Class). They’re not so much stupid as they don’t make [any](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Around-the-World-La-la-la-la-la-lyrics-ATC/6AD8BD658161CF1D48256A0A000FE8FA) [f\*cking](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Why-oh-Why-lyrics-ATC/354858E2DA1BFDEE48256A0A000FAC07) [sense](http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/So-Magical-lyrics-ATC/F2AC466D38D9257D48256A0A000F902D)! I have to post some of this lyrical mastery: > [@](#): > > The kisses of the sun - Were sweet I didn’t blink > I let it in my eyes - Like an exotic dream > The radio playing songs - That I have never heard > I don’t know what to say - Oh not another word Valete, Vox Imperatoris ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/86 "2009-01-11T06:56:53Z")
I, too, haven’t stopped laughing at the ghost/toast lyrics. That may be my new favorite song, and it certainly wins the thread. However, I want to submit my nomination for a very clear second. It seems so obvious when you think about it. Vanilla Ice’s _Ice Ice Baby_ contains, for example, this gem: _Quick to the point, to the point no fakin’ I’m cooking MC’s like a pound of bacon_ It amazes me that a man who can put together timeless similes such as that with a funky beat hasn’t achieved more lasting success. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/87 "2009-01-11T11:45:29Z")
I’m going to offer this from The Ramones. Sure, making fun of The Ramones for bad lyrics is _too_ easy, but this qualifies. From their _R.A.M.O.N.E.S._: > [@](#): > > Bad boys then, bad boys now, > Good buddies, mau, mau, mau, > Keep it up, rock’N’roll, > Punk music save your soul, > Dee Dee, he left home > Joey calls me on the phone Good buddies mau mau mau? ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/88 "2009-01-11T12:04:08Z")
One more. This falls under the ‘great song, great voice, stupid lyrics’ category. Either that, or the lyrics are so deep, mere mortals cannot comprehend them. I think it’s from the _Buffy_ soundtrack. _Virgin State of Mind_ by K’s Choice: > [@](#): > > There’s a chair in my head on which I used to sit > Took a pencil and I wrote the following on it > > Now there’s a key where my wonderful mouth used to be > Dig it up, throw it at me > Dig it up, throw it at me It goes on in the same vein and generally leaves me feeling 😕. Nice song, though. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/89 "2009-01-11T12:45:04Z")
> [@Shawn1767](#): > > Mary and Harry DO rhyme in that their final sounds are both the long “e” sound. The rest of the word does not have to sound the same in order for it to be a rhyme. Nonsense. This is only a valid argument if the long “e” sound at the end is stressed. “Mary” doesn’t rhyme with “jelly”; “belly” rhymes with “jelly.” Now, “LeGree” can be said to rhyme with “Capri”. Thus, we can have a valid rhyme with: Oh my, oh me I am weeping for poor little E- va, who was hunted down by Simon LeGree. Now she’ll never see the Isle of Capri. Hmm. I should set that to music, and maybe I can win this thread. ETA: “Mary” and “Harry” do rhyme, without any rationalizing needed. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/90 "2009-01-11T12:55:12Z")
Speaking of Alanis Morissette… None of the shit in her song “Ironic” is Ironic. It’s all unfortunate, but not ironic. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/91 "2009-01-11T14:36:32Z")
[Darn it, it’s regional!](http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=5220090&m=5220091) At the end the linked interview, they do go into the Great Vowel Shift that’s causing the great Mary Harry debate. Mary and Harry do not rhyme-- in Brooklyn. All you people who think that they do just live in the wrong place. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/92 "2009-01-11T16:57:33Z")
> [@ShadowFacts](#): > > Whenever I see one of these threads, I am morally obligated to submit “My Humps” by Black Eyed Peas: > > _What you gon’ do with all that junk? > All that junk inside your trunk? > I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, > Get you love drunk off my hump. > My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, > My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)_ > > And, for even more fun, you must watch [the greatest parody video of all time](http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-g). Ahh, part of that is just a suburban white girl’s blackface-show attempt to make herself sound “street.” Chrissy Hynde did much the same trying to sound “soulful” on “Brass In Pocket.” I’m not sure any black person would utter the phrase “I gonna,” but I’m certain no white not intent on minstrel-showism would. Plus Chrissy sounds through the entire song like she just suffered a moderate stroke, with all the put-on slurring (of some lyrics that might in fact merit inclusion here: “Gonna use my sidestep [if that’s in fact what she’s saying?]” WTF?). ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/93 "2009-01-11T21:52:17Z")
> [@bluecanary](#): > > I’m from the North East of England, and Harry is pronounced with a hard a, as in ‘hat’. As is ‘bath’. I certainly say it that way. That’s a good way to put it. More like we’d say Hari (Krishna) or Atari. My dumbest lyric entry is a current hit. [T-Pain’s _Can’t Believe It_](http://www.metrolyrics.com/cant-believe-it-lyrics-t-pain.html) has this earjerker: Put you in a mansion , Somewhere in Wis-cans-hin. Gahwch, my brain lobes! ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/94 "2009-01-11T22:00:31Z")
> [@Aankh](#): > > One more. This falls under the ‘great song, great voice, stupid lyrics’ category. Either that, or the lyrics are so deep, mere mortals cannot comprehend them. I think it’s from the Buffy soundtrack. > > Virgin State of Mind by K’s Choice: I can still see evil vamp-Willow cruising into The Bronze to the lyrics of that song, never did she seem so sexy and powerful.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/95 "2009-01-11T22:25:51Z")
I’m nominating two people I really like. First, David Bowie’s “Crack City,” which tries to be poetic and profane and fails at both: \*Don’t whore your little bodies The worms of paradise Like Everest it’s fatal It’s peaks are cold as ice … Piss on the icon monsters Whose guitars bequeath you pain They’ll face you down to their level With their addictions and their fast lanes Corrupt with shaky visions And crack and coke and alcohol They’re just a bunch of assholes With buttholes for their brains\* The distinction between “assholes” and “buttholes” is not really properly explained, I feel. Bowie should make an album about that. * * * And second, Lou Reed, “Caroline Says”: _Just like poison in a vial, Hey, she was often very vile_ Points deducted for the bad homophone rhyme, for the lazy use of “hey” and “often” to make the second line scan, for the fact that the line doesn’t even scan anyway, for the fact that the word “vile” is far too arch, and for the fact that “poison in a vial” already sounds like the second line you coughed up on deadline to rhyme with the first, but it _is_ the first. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/96 "2009-01-12T11:21:08Z")
While I’m on a roll (no pun intended), another fine toast-themed lyric from **Rapper’s Delight** : _I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast But I like hot butter on my breakfast toast._ Um, that’s…not _actually_ a boast. Most people who have toast for breakfast have butter on it, or at least margarine if they’re watching their cholesterol. Butter is hardly a luxury good, and if you think that’s showing off your standards are really quite low. Worst. Bling. Ever. - Except maybe for Newcleus who have jam on it (DYSWIDT?). ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/97 "2009-01-12T11:32:35Z")
One I’m surprised hasn’t been mentioned yet: L.F.O - ‘Summer Girls’ _“New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits; Chinese food makes me sick”_ and later on _“Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets”_ ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/98 "2009-01-12T12:26:08Z")
A couple from the eighties: The Human League - The Lebanon > [@](#): > > Before he leaves the camp he stops > > He scans the world outside > > And where there used to be some shops > > Is where the snipers sometimes hide Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know? > [@](#): > > Don’t say you’re easy on me > You’re about as easy as a nuclear war ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/99 "2009-01-12T14:15:45Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Lil’ Wayne, Dr. Carter: > > _Swagger tighter than a yeast infection / > Fly go hard like geese erection._ > > I win. I have to agree. I . . . just don’t know where to begin commenting on these lyrics. Though, if they had come up with a good rhyme for cloaca, that would have been awesome. Despite yielding to Morbo, I can’t let this thread go with two references to Neil Diamond, without mentioning > [@](#): > > Song she sang to me > Song she brang to me > Words that rang in me > Rhyme that sprang from me > Warmed the night > And what was right > Became me So, he’s so desperate to rhyme he slaughters proper English, but then resorts to assonance in the last line anyway! ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350/100 "2009-01-12T14:37:23Z")
Hey guys, I’m about to win the thread here. You ready? This is fucked up. From the illustrious canon of the late Biggie Smalls: **What’s up** _"“Don’t they know my nigga Gutter fuckin’ kidnap kids? Fucks ‘em in the ass, throws ‘em over da bridge.”_ No, Biggie, apparently they don’t know that. In fact, I’d wager quite a few people were surprised to learn that you hung out with THE FUCKING ATLANTA CHILD STRANGLER!! What the fuck, man? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-really-stupid-song-lyrics/480350.md?page=6)