# Really silly warnings that manufacturers put on products because they might get sued **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2001, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944 "2001-05-30T01:57:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![south333](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@south333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/south333)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/41 "2001-05-31T02:25:59Z")
I always thought that those signs that say “Wrong Way” were kind of pointless since there are usually cars coming from the direction your not supposed to go, until one day I was driving with this old lady who mistakenly drove into the wrong lane and kept driving until she realized that there were cars coming towards her. :eek: Why would someone think that they SHOULD stop the chainsaw with their genitalia in the first place??? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/42 "2001-05-31T02:57:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Holding a plastic supermarket bag on my lap as I type that says Caution: Keep this plastic bag away from small children. The thin film may cling to nose and prevent breathing. > A warning AND a rationale. Luckily, I’m not a small child. “Cletis, don’ give that bag to lil’ Jimmy! It sars not to!” “Aw, shucks Darlene, they jus’ don’t want nobody ter have fun no more, let lil’ Jimmy have th’ durn bag to play with. He likes it, see.” :shuuuk: :choking noises: “Wayl damn, why din’t they say he cud choke er somethin? Let’s sue 'em.” About wrong way signs, I’m sure anyone who’s lived in Kansas City has gone the wrong way once or twice. The streets may be one way for only a short block or two, and at night, you might not see the One Way signs. I like the Wrong Way signs. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/43 "2001-05-31T04:10:32Z")
I’m a big fan of the “Wrong Way” signs, myself. I used to live in Ann Arbor, and I’m telling ya, if any city was laid out like a Rubik’s Cube, that one is it. I know people that have lived there for 20 years or more that have turned the wrong way on to one way streets. Either that, or the street they were travelling on suddenly becomes a one way from a two-way, and it’s one way the OTHER damn way (a situation I have found myself in more than once). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/44 "2001-05-31T04:57:25Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > Why would someone think that they SHOULD stop the chainsaw with their genitalia in the first place??? \*\* Actually, I think that anyone who would do this wouldn’t read the warning anyway. And the human race will be better for that. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/45 "2001-05-31T05:02:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tricia Valentine \* > \*\*The instructions on toothpicks are kinda stupid. (Hence Wonko the Sane…) \*\* That’s what I thought of as soon as I saw the subject line. Three posts in – not too bad… 😃 Persephone, I lived in Ann Arbor too (went to U-M, but am finished now), and agree with everything you said. :eek: Oh, and as far as classic warnings go, there’s the Superman cape labeled “Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.” ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/46 "2001-05-31T06:44:05Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Crunchy Frog_ > \*\*On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) “Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets.” \*\* My friend shared a house with several other students last year. They had a communal cat. Problem: cat smells. Solution: roommate sprays Febreeze on cat. It was too much trouble to give the cat a bath. Fluffy hates baths. I’m sure licking off a layer of household chemicals did wonders for Fluffy’s disposition and overall health. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/47 "2001-05-31T14:36:06Z")
Seen on the phosphate enema bottles at the hospital where I work… “For Rectal use only” It’s an ENEMA! where the hell ELSE are ya gonna use it?! _Shudders at the thought._ Altho I guess they kinda look like douche bottles…I suppose… My first thought is that somewhere, someone tried one nasaly. Gah! ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/48 "2001-05-31T14:46:00Z")
I worked in a pharmacy for almost 10 years. We got a new drug in that is used for chemotherapy, that required a lot of warning labels. Somehow, the label didn’t print up correctly when it ran through the printer. It ended up saying: “Do not take this drug you become pregnant” Obviously it was supposed to say “if you become pregnant”, but for quite some time we had a lot of confused customers calling us up. ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Jaguar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jet_jaguar/32/3562_2.png) [@Jet\_Jaguar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Jaguar)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/49 "2001-05-31T16:02:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tricia Valentine \* > \*\*The instructions on toothpicks are kinda stupid. (Hence Wonko the Sane…) but warning tags- the tag on blowdryers that says “Do not use while in sleep.” The pathetic part is obviously somebody _tried_ it… > \*\* …and that somebody was me. On cold winter days, I used to run a hair dryer under the sheets for a few seconds before hopping into bed. Made it all nice and toasty. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/50 "2001-05-31T16:07:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Katisha \* > \*\* > Oh, and as far as classic warnings go, there’s the Superman cape labeled “Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.” \*\* Helloooo?? Is this thing on?? [sub]please note sig, which has been there for me through the good times and the bad, lo these 11 months of existence on SDMB[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/51 "2001-05-31T16:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > On a Band-Aid box: “For serious injuries, seek medical attention.” > (“What’s that Lassie? Timmy’s hand was torn of by a bear? Oh, that’s ok girl, we’ll just slap a Band-Aid on it.”) > Next time I go to the store I’m checking out all the Band-Aid boxes for this one. Actually that one is true… I remember seeing it on the Band-aid box once when I have to go get one. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/52 "2001-05-31T20:33:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tricia Valentine \* > \*\*The instructions on toothpicks are kinda stupid. (Hence Wonko the Sane…) > DUH! \*\* Hello! ---
**Author:** ![Lego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@Lego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lego)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/53 "2001-06-01T00:31:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > \*\*On those little Silica Gel packets that are used to keep moisture out of everything from vitamins to beef jerky: > > “Warning: Do Not Eat” > > No? Damn, I was thinking of dipping it in some hot sauce. > \*\* I found a little oxgen-removing packet (are we talking about the same thing?) in a box of almond crackers today. Had I not been able to read the warning, I would have assumed it was some sort of seasoning to sprinkle on the crackers. Those warnings save lives! ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/54 "2001-06-01T05:19:06Z")
Lego- if you opened it, putting it on crackers would not be your first impulse. Plus, the particles are too big, they would just fall off. That is, if it -was- silica gel (actually a dessicant). They are blue, pink, and white coarse particles. ---
**Author:** ![Cumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@Cumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumber)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/55 "2001-06-01T14:39:42Z")
On a related vein, I just _love_ the “may contain traces of nuts” thing in the ingredients list of practically everything now… I am allergic to nuts you see. No-one can be sued if I wind up dead because someone screwed up and put walnuts in something that wasn’t supposed to have them. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/56 "2001-06-01T14:41:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lego \* > \*\*On those little Silica Gel packets that are used to keep moisture out of everything from vitamins to beef jerky: > > “Warning: Do Not Eat” > > No? Damn, I was thinking of dipping it in some hot sauce. > \*\* I see them more often with electronic equipment – “okay, here’s the monitor, and the cables, and…ooh, free candy!” [sub](apologies to some comedian or other)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/57 "2001-06-01T20:22:59Z")
Howyadoin, My nephew has a concept that I heartily support; remove all warning, caution, danger, etc. labels from all products for two years. We talk about fighting ignorance, but dammit, sometimes you gotta break out the heavy artillery!! \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/58 "2001-06-02T00:07:40Z")
YOu mean Bill Evengal? Here’s your sign! ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/59 "2001-06-02T05:01:31Z")
Well, those warnings damn near saved my house if not my life. You see, just a few weeks ago we celebrated Victoria Day (sorta like a Canadian version of the Fourth of July except it has to do with a dead fat queen who smoked dope but was not amused … but I digress) and we bought some fireworks (after all she died exactly one hundred years ago) and anyways I was all set to move the living room furniture back a bit, put an old sheet over the Persian rug, and have ourselves one grand indoor fireworks show (it was cold outside, OK?) when, thank God I noticed the warning: **For Outdoor Use Only**. I had no idea! So don’t be a dissin’ those warning labels. [sub]Warning: This post may contain traces of sarcasm[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tricia\_Valentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Tricia\_Valentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tricia_Valentine)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2001, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944/60 "2001-06-02T18:38:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sterra \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Warnings on chainsaws advising the operator NOT to stop the chain with one’s hands. > > > > I shudder to think what made this warning necessary. > > You obviously haven’t seen the swedish one(do not stop with hands or genitals) \*\* Maybe it’s natural selection- people stupid enough to do that sure won’t be having kids any time soon! Therefore, there will be less people that stupid! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-silly-warnings-that-manufacturers-put-on-products-because-they-might-get-sued/66944.md?page=4)