# Really stupid voice mail shit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 28, 2006, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543 "2006-04-28T01:28:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/41 "2006-04-28T18:03:39Z")
I think I’d prefer “I’ll call you back at first opportunity” rather than “at first convenience”, but the other issues are technical ones and having worked at a company that installed these systems, I don’t feel the same way as the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/42 "2006-04-28T18:24:15Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Huh? 😕 Let me see if I can explain. I would have thought it was obvious. You said: > [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Wow, really? That (the part I bolded) is so rude as to make me not do business with someone that had that attitude. So it appears that you were saying that you wouldn’t want to do business with the person. If you had a reason to do business with the person… and didn’t want to because they were rude… I would assume you would still want to do business with someone… I posted this > [@Who\_me?](#): > > Then feel free to call someone else… whose message will say that they’ll get back to you when they get around to it. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/43 "2006-04-28T18:30:13Z")
My brother had his wife record his office and cell phone voice mail messages. Not because he wants people to think his office is bigger than it is, but because people expect a woman to answer the phone. It just seems more professional. That, and his wife is an actress, so she could do a much better job than he ever could. I worked briefly for a construction company that did the same thing. They hired an actress to record their messages. Robin ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/44 "2006-04-28T18:53:06Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > My brother had his wife record his office and cell phone voice mail messages. Not because he wants people to think his office is bigger than it is, but because people expect a woman to answer the phone. It just seems more professional. That, and his wife is an actress, so she could do a much better job than he ever could. Whaaat? I don’t know whether people expect a woman to answer a phone or not, I certainly do not have that expectation, but what does that have to do with voicemail? Are you saying that people also expect a woman to answer a man’s cell phone? If your brother is so incapable of stringing a few sentences together and so unprofessional that his wife has to record his messages for him, how does he ever manage to actually speak to his customers or clients? ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/45 "2006-04-28T19:06:51Z")
\*\*Who\_me?, \*\* This is the part of \*\*Scoundrel Swanswater’s \*\* reply that I found rude… > [@](#): > > “I will call you back when I get around to it and don’t have more important things to do”. This was your invaluable advise for me … > [@](#): > > Then feel free to call someone else… whose message will say that they’ll get back to you when they get around to it. So basically, I shouldn’t deal with people who tell me they’ll get back to me when they get around to it, and am therefore free to call someone who will tell me they’ll get back to me when they get around to it. You’re right, that is obvious. Thanks for explaining it to me. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/46 "2006-04-28T22:25:09Z")
> [@samm](#): > > Whaaat? I don’t know whether people expect a woman to answer a phone or not, I certainly do not have that expectation, but what does that have to do with voicemail? Are you saying that people also expect a woman to answer a man’s cell phone? > > If your brother is so incapable of stringing a few sentences together and so unprofessional that his wife has to record his messages for him, how does he ever manage to actually speak to his customers or clients? For the most part, his cell phone _is_ his office phone, since he forwards his land line on the days he’s in court and answers messages during breaks. Having one voice for everything gives some consistency. My brother is 32 but sounds kinda young for his age. He’s perfectly capable of stringing enough sentences together to record his own voice mail message, but when it comes to messages, which, for him, are often the first contact a client has with him, he prefers to have his wife do them. They sound better and people think he’s running a more professional outfit, which is the image he wants. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/47 "2006-04-28T22:44:33Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > For the most part, his cell phone _is_ his office phone, since he forwards his land line on the days he’s in court and answers messages during breaks. Having one voice for everything gives some consistency. > > My brother is 32 but sounds kinda young for his age. He’s perfectly capable of stringing enough sentences together to record his own voice mail message, but when it comes to messages, which, for him, are often the first contact a client has with him, he prefers to have his wife do them. They sound better and people think he’s running a more professional outfit, which is the image he wants. > > Robin Yep. My FIL runs his own business, and he always asks me to do his answering machine messages for him. One of the reasons, however, is because he and his two sons have very gruff, gravelly voices, and he wants his customers to be greeted by someone with a friendlier tone. He’s a great businessman, his voice is just rough. I’m the only female handy, and he liked the message I recorded on my own phone, so he came to me. My husband did our most recent one, however, and he really seemed natural when he was doing it, but whenever I call our machine to get messages, I hear his voice and inwardly giggle - it sounds forced and uncomfortable, and he says our names as though he’s asking a question… even though I was standing right there when he did it, and it had sounded fine when he said it out loud. But maybe that’s just because I know him. 😉 Anyway. Just adding to **Robin** ’s argument that it might just _sound_ better. The alternative might be: [too loud] “UHH… this is… _grumble_ the office of ABC, and I’m not in right now. So. … leave. … a message. … after that beep thing that comes. Right now.”\* As for the rest of the rant, I have nothing to add, since I don’t deal with that kind of stuff. It sounds kind of annoying. \*- no, not all men are like this, and I’ve encountered some very pleasant male secretaries. But in my story, if I didn’t do the message, that’s what you’d get if you called my FIL’s company. 😉 Phone skills notwithstanding, dude sells a lot of crap, though, so he’s doing something right. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/48 "2006-04-28T22:52:53Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Good point, **jali** , but I have to add more. It wouldn’t be “nice”. It’s _important_. If you leave me a business message that doesn’t at least reference what you want you will be put to the bottom of the list in calling you back! I will call all the people who had the courtesy to tell me what they wanted and for whom I could get the information for. > > I don’t care if you don’t like to leave messages, which is the answer I get most to this. This is a business environment, and my time is as important as yours. Which brings up another irritation associated with VM, especially on cell phones. Now. I like voice mail. It’s much more satisfying to leave someone a message explaining why you are calling and what you expect of them than it is to just get no answer or a busy signal. But when I do take the time to leave you a detailed message (as I am asked to by many OGMs), will you at least listen to it before you call me back? This happens to me several times a week. I’m trying to get in touch with a contractor or a colleague because I or they need information one of us has. I get their VM. No big deal, I know that cell phones have dubious reliability in many situations. So I leave them a short detailed message so that they will know why I am calling and be prepared when thaey call me back. Instead, my phone will ring 10 minutes later and they’ll ask what I called about. Well, I just told you 10 minutes ago! Didn’t you listen to my message? Nope, they just saw me on the caller ID and called back. I don’t know why I bother to leave messages on cell phones at all!! grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/49 "2006-04-29T06:33:58Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > My brother is 32 but sounds kinda young for his age. He’s perfectly capable of stringing enough sentences together to record his own voice mail message, but when it comes to messages, which, for him, are often the first contact a client has with him, he prefers to have his wife do them. They sound better and people think he’s running a more professional outfit, which is the image he wants. And this is exactly what the OP said-- that some small businessmen have women record their voicemail so it seems more professional and official. Glad someone backed him up on this, b/c it’s a definite phenomenon. It doesn’t bother me, personally, but it does happen. I do think it’s quite lame if an important businessman cannot figure out how to record his own voicemail message. It’s not rocket science. Hell, I’m pretty sure a 3rd grader could do it, no problem. Please join the rest of the human race and learn how to use a push-button phone. There’s really no excuse anymore except technophobia, laziness, or pomposity, all of which are not qualities one should rest in. As a teacher, I would never have a message that tells parents I’ll get back to them “at my earliest convenience.” It sounds like, when I get around to it, whenever the hell that is, and that would not be acceptable for my professional voicemail. Even if no parents commented, I think the administration would not like it. Sends the wrong message, no pun intended. **caveman** , your wife must have tenure. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/50 "2006-04-29T08:19:37Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > As a teacher, I would never have a message that tells parents I’ll get back to them “at my earliest convenience.” It sounds like, when I get around to it, whenever the hell that is, and that would not be acceptable for my professional voicemail. Even if no parents commented, I think the administration would not like it. Sends the wrong message, no pun intended. **caveman** , your wife must have tenure. 😉 I don’t understand - when would you honestly get back to them that is _not_ at your earliest convenience? How _could_ you somehow get back to them before your _earliest_ convenience? By definition, the implication is that you are going to get back to them when it is inconvenient for you, and thus prior to your earliest convenience. Interesting that you can do that. You must really love your job. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/51 "2006-04-29T14:37:20Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I don’t understand - when would you honestly get back to them that is _not_ at your earliest convenience? The people arguing against us, like you, as though “at your earliest convenience” were a logical formula really must be basement-dwelling geeks. Because it’s not a matter of logic. It’s a matter of idiom, how the phrase has been used _hitherto_, and general social skills. “At my earliest convenience” just hasn’t been used in that way, and, even if we look at your strained logic, the connotations of “convenience” make it socially unacceptable to use in this context, as several posters in this thread have pointed out. In Google, “at my earliest convenience” (in quotes) generated 50,200 hits. “At your earliest convenience” (again in quotes) generated 1,070,000 hits. This alone is proof enough that “at my earliest convenience” is a mangled idiom (i.e., morons heard “at your earliest convenience” at just flipped it around without really thinking about it) and not a socially accepted idiom in its own right. IOW, it’s only social and/or verbal morons who are saying “at my earliest convenience,” and all your pissing and moaning that the phrase “makes sense” shows that you not only don’t understand this phrase but don’t understand the social function of words in general. And if a teacher is using the phrase in this mangled version, shame on her. She should have her certificate ripped up and made to sit with pupils Billy-Madison style, because that’s her fucking level. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/52 "2006-04-29T14:42:09Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > And this is exactly what the OP said-- that some small businessmen have women record their voicemail so it seems more professional and official. Glad someone backed him up on this, b/c it’s a definite phenomenon. Yeah, ain’t it a laugh? I write how morons are doing this, but then someone posts, “Wait up–my brother’s doing this, but it’s to look more professional.” Guess what? Anyone with eyes can see through the trick, he does _not_ look more professional thereby, and in fact he looks like a fucking moron, which is what he is. ---
**Author:** ![marginal\_prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@marginal\_prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marginal_prophet)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/53 "2006-04-29T16:55:05Z")
\*\*Aeschines \*\* This has to be the weakest whine of the forum. You need to get out more so you have something to cry about. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/54 "2006-04-29T18:00:27Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Yeah, ain’t it a laugh? I write how morons are doing this, but then someone posts, “Wait up–my brother’s doing this, but it’s to look more professional.” > > Guess what? Anyone with eyes can see through the trick, he does _not_ look more professional thereby, and in fact he looks like a fucking moron, which is what he is. Fuck off, **Aeschines**. Better yet, here’s ten bucks. Go to the drugstore and get yourself some Preparation H, because your hemorrhoids are inflamed. That’s the only reason I can think of that would make voice mail make you this cranky. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/55 "2006-04-29T18:36:45Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > Better yet, here’s ten bucks. Where’s my ten bucks? I don’t see them anywhere. > [@](#): > > Go to the drugstore and get yourself some Preparation H, because your hemorrhoids are inflamed. Why don’t you perform surgery on them with your teeth? That will also save the ten bucks you never gave me. > [@](#): > > That’s the only reason I can think of that would make voice mail make you this cranky. No, shitheads like you are what make me cranky. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/56 "2006-04-29T19:09:27Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > Yeah, ain’t it a laugh? I write how morons are doing this, but then someone posts, “Wait up–my brother’s doing this, but it’s to look more professional.” > > Guess what? Anyone with eyes can see through the trick, he does _not_ look more professional thereby, and in fact he looks like a fucking moron, which is what he is. You sound very unhappy and jealous- do you need a hug? Face it- just because you aren’t in the club doesn’t make all those who are turn into morons. :wally Having a professional-sounding outgoing message does indeed sound better. Acting in a professional manner (including having your message sound professional when your clients call) is a requirement for doing business with adults. It doesn’t appear that **Aeschines** has very much experience in that area. ---
**Author:** ![mrrealtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@mrrealtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrrealtime)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/57 "2006-04-29T19:32:47Z")
Must suck to have to call people and leave messages. I make hit records, my fans they can’t wait They write me letters, tell me I’m great So I got me an office, gold records on the wall Just leave a message, maybe I’ll call heh heh ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/58 "2006-04-29T20:34:07Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I don’t understand - when would you honestly get back to them that is _not_ at your earliest convenience? How _could_ you somehow get back to them before your _earliest_ convenience? By definition, the implication is that you are going to get back to them when it is inconvenient for you, and thus prior to your earliest convenience. Interesting that you can do that. You must really love your job. It’s “convenience” that throws me, not “earliest”. At work, I call my mom if I have a few moments that are convenient for me (like during lunch, or if I’m working late waiting for one particular email and I honestly have nothing else to do until it arrives), but I return business calls in a more immediate way. Perhaps I am wanting a snack, so it would be more convenient for me to phone you after my trip to the vending machine, but meanwhile back in reality, I am going to put off my Snickers bar until after I have returned your call. Obviously, this depends somewhat upon the nature of the call, and we all make professional decisions about this, but still, the image I like to project at the office is of a person who will return your call promptly even if it is not 100% _convenient_ for me. And I back that up by actually returning calls as quickly as possible. I’m still confused about people who “expect” a woman to answer the phone. I get the concept of having someone with a nice, professional sounding voice make the out-going message if the person whose phone it is feels that something is less than ideal about his own voice, but what does that have to do with gender? I somewhat expect a woman to answer the phone if I am calling a woman, but other than that, where else might someone work where it’s expected that a woman answer? A tampon company? A battered women’s crisis line? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/59 "2006-04-29T22:56:24Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I don’t understand - when would you honestly get back to them that is _not_ at your earliest convenience? How _could_ you somehow get back to them before your _earliest_ convenience? By definition, the implication is that you are going to get back to them when it is inconvenient for you, and thus prior to your earliest convenience. Interesting that you can do that. You must really love your job. Yeah, I honestly do return phone calls before it’s convenient for me, if they’re business calls. It’s never really “convenient” to call someone you know only wants to bitch at you or give you a hard time. I call them back as soon as possible, out of concern and respect, not just when it’s “convenient.” Do you find it “convenient” to do things you find to be difficult or annoying? I don’t. But I do it anyway, thanks for asking though, and in SUCH a nice way. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543/60 "2006-04-30T00:04:27Z")
> [@EJsGirl](#): > > You sound very unhappy and jealous- do you need a hug? Face it- just because you aren’t in the club doesn’t make all those who are turn into morons […] Having a professional-sounding outgoing message does indeed sound better. You’re not reading. Having some person do your message for you does NOT sound professional (for the reasons I and others have stated here) and does NOT put you in the “club.” But you ARE a moron. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/really-stupid-voice-mail-shit/354543.md?page=4)