# Reasonably petty office situation. How to handle it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767 "2012-10-15T12:49:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/141 "2012-10-18T20:18:42Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > I don’t think you’re taking the full statement into context. > > Typical procedure is to email on Monday. > Melanie IMs on Friday to get the item added. > OP says, “No worries, but please send an email on Monday.” > In other words, “No worries, but please follow the typical procedure.” The implication is that it won’t get added otherwise. > OP has not actually done anything for Melanie other than to remind her to do the usual thing. > [@SmellMyWort](#): > > I should have said “meaningless babble in this instance” since I usually take it as positive acknowledgement, too. Just not when it’s followed by language indicating the opposite. > > Wife: “Here, I’ve bagged up the trash for you to take out when you leave.” > Hubby: “No worries! I’ll take this trash out Monday, can you remind me to do it?” > Wife: :dubious: At this point we have our own opinions set on the mean of the OP’s message. But I cannot find a reason for Melanie’s response even if you have a problem with the OP’s request for a reminder. It was out of line even if I were to consider the OP’s message to be problematic. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/142 "2012-10-18T20:41:03Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > At this point we have our own opinions set on the mean of the OP’s message. But I cannot find a reason for Melanie’s response even if you have a problem with the OP’s request for a reminder. It was out of line even if I were to consider the OP’s message to be problematic. “This is the reminder :)” is out of line? Come on, guys. I realize this has become 100+ responses of nitpickery but you honestly consider that to be out of line? What kind of sunshine and roses places do some of you work at where that response is some kind of issue? If “this is the reminder” with a smiley face is out of line, I can’t imagine the kind of eggshell walking that must have to go on in some workplaces. It makes me glad, glad, glad for the environment I work in. Threads like this make me question the veracity of threads where people talk about “workplace bullying” or people doing things wrong at work. In the future when people report in threads that people are making it hard for them to do their jobs from now on instead of thinking “Why would someone do that?” I’ll wonder if it’s one of these types of situations where making-it-hard-to-do-my-job really equals Melanie-pissed-me-off-for-not-treating-me-like-a-snowflake. Or if someone says “I’m bullied at work because when I come into the lunchroom to sit down they leave!” I’m going to think “Maybe they think you’re a rigid jackass who needs their hand held to do their job and they are tired of you.” > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Sorry, but “I cannot retain information” is no excuse for incompetence. But bah, I’ve worked in offices with useless, inflexible people before, and you people will always be lazy and bad at your jobs, and it’ll always be somebody else’s fault. So I’ll treat this discussion the way I did my last gig in Corporate American Hell. I quit; We’re done here. Not trying to drag you back into the conversation, but I agree completely. So much time wasted when she could have saved the info in less than 60 seconds and moved on to something else. Maybe she needs more to do at work. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2012, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/143 "2012-10-18T21:08:19Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > “This is the reminder :)” is out of line? Come on, guys. I realize this has become 100+ responses of nitpickery but you honestly consider that to be out of line? What kind of sunshine and roses places do some of you work at where that response is some kind of issue? If “this is the reminder” with a smiley face is out of line, I can’t imagine the kind of eggshell walking that must have to go on in some workplaces. It makes me glad, glad, glad for the environment I work in. I guess it is sunshine and roses because no one I work with would respond in that way. They’d tend to trip over themselves trying to help out. We are very goal oriented, and if the goal is getting things on the agenda, everyone will do whatever they can toward that end, and assume everyone else is also. That said, we have some dumb procedures also. And frankly I think the idea of a person needing to do anything to get an item on an agenda of a regularly scheduled meeting is very inefficient in the modern world. But I do work for a software company so we have an advantage in getting procedures automated. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/144 "2012-10-19T02:55:30Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > It’s the OP who is guilty of trying to shift responsibility to someone else. When you get a task at work, you do it. You don’t ask for the person giving you the task to remind you to do it. Nope, the girl is going outside of the accepted practice. Special requests require special performance by the requestor. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/145 "2012-10-19T16:00:21Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > I don’t think you’re taking the full statement into context. > > Typical procedure is to email on Monday. > Melanie IMs on Friday to get the item added. > OP says, “No worries, but please send an email on Monday.” > In other words, “No worries, but please follow the typical procedure.” The implication is that it won’t get added otherwise. > OP has not actually done anything for Melanie other than to remind her to do the usual thing. And if Melanie’s not going to be there on Monday? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/146 "2012-10-19T16:03:43Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > And if Melanie’s not going to be there on Monday? Do you think that’s something the OP should be expected to know or something Melanie should probably tell her? ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/147 "2012-10-19T16:14:14Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Do you think that’s something the OP should be expected to know or something Melanie should probably tell her? I’d think both parties should be interested in efficient exchange of information, and saying “send the same information twice because I’m going to play power games about format” is just slightly more obnoxious than “while I’m thinking about this, here’s some info you’ll need”. (sigh) So many reasonable adults out of work, and the employed are wasting all sorts of time and angst on trivia instead of taking care of getting the work done. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/148 "2012-10-19T16:22:12Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Do you think that’s something the OP should be expected to know or something Melanie should probably tell her? That’s what’s missing from both ends. A brief explanation goes a long way. The OP could have added that she was overloaded with work or Melanie could have added that she would be away Monday. That is assuming either one of them had a real reason. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/149 "2012-10-19T17:40:34Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I’d think both parties should be interested in efficient exchange of information, and saying “send the same information twice because I’m going to play power games about format” is just slightly more obnoxious than “while I’m thinking about this, here’s some info you’ll need”. Again with the power games bullshit. This really isn’t going anywhere any more, if it ever was. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767/150 "2012-10-19T22:16:27Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > (sigh) So many reasonable adults out of work, and the employed are wasting all sorts of time and angst on trivia instead of taking care of getting the work done. Well, they’re probably not. They’re probably getting work done efficiently and effectively, and coming here the vent a little. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasonably-petty-office-situation-how-to-handle-it/637767.md?page=7)