# Reasons I'm happy SciFi hasn't become reality **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164 "2008-01-03T19:34:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/61 "2008-01-05T03:47:03Z")
I’m rather pleased that we never discovered a Slaver statue at the bottom of the ocean that turned out to be an actual Slaver preserved in a stasis field. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/62 "2008-01-05T04:24:39Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy] Lapine? Don’t get the reference. I presume you don’t mean “speaking the language of rabbits”. [/QUOTE] I don’t think talking will do you much good. [RUN FROM THE GIANT EVIL BUNNIES!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Od92391upY&NR=1) ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/63 "2008-01-05T16:10:00Z")
I’m pleased and yet saddened that a naked space vampire has not (yet) chosen me to help her rule the world. Oh, and we have not needed a King of the Impossible yet. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/64 "2008-01-05T20:18:19Z")
I’m glad our children are still relatively normal, not out-evolving us through a sort of telepathic transcendence. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/65 "2008-01-05T20:27:03Z")
I’m glad that me and my dog haven’t had to eat my girlfriend yet. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/66 "2008-01-05T21:34:50Z")
I’m glad there are no [rectal-dwelling weasels.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dreamcatcher_%28novel%29) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/67 "2008-01-06T01:32:59Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy] Lapine? Don’t get the reference. I presume you don’t mean “speaking the language of rabbits”. [/QUOTE] Lupine, perhaps ? A reference to the vaguely wolf-headed Demons in _A Plague of Demons_. Speaking of which, I’m glad my brain hasn’t been stolen, brainwashed and plugged into a giant alien tank. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/68 "2008-01-06T02:31:16Z")
Illudium phosdex resources remain abundant. ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/69 "2008-01-06T02:47:30Z")
[QUOTE=Superfluous Parentheses] I’m also glad there aren’t any gun-spewing anti-sex propaganda spouting giant flying stone heads around. Also, I’m not at risk of running into a diaper wearing Sean Connery. [/QUOTE] What may be your diaper, is “An Anal Bum Cover” for someone else. 🙂 Whatever number we are on: Objects don’t do weird things. Like a a pencil that can make pennies pop out, or eyeglasses that make you invisible for 10 seconds. ((Sci Fi Channel Mini Series, from 2006, “The Lost Room” )) [http://www.scifi.com/lostroom/about/show/](http://www.scifi.com/lostroom/about/show/) ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/70 "2008-01-06T03:04:08Z")
I have not become addicted to sticking electronic feeds directly into my head and/or neck. The earth’s core has not been sabotaged by alien beings. Nor the sun, moon, or oceans in general. My cortical stack has not, as of yet, been burned. I have not had to pay for my crimes by toiling as a mineworker on a distant and feculent planet. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/71 "2008-01-06T03:07:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking of which, I’m glad my brain hasn’t been stolen, brainwashed and plugged into a giant alien tank And I’m glad my essence hasn’t been smoked by a tyrant. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/72 "2008-01-06T03:51:39Z")
[8 Movie Futures Already Proven Wrong](http://www.cracked.com/article_15756_2001-timecop-8-movie-futures-already-proven-wrong.html) > [@](#): > > Advanced Artificial Intelligence: The closest thing we had to HAL in 2001 were AOL Instant Messenger Bots, which can “chat” in an irritating, judgmental way. These bots were designed to function at an intelligence level on par with your average AOL user, so let’s just say we weren’t in immediate danger of a HAL-like consciousness taking over a NASA mission and eliminating its crew members. Luckily, our 2001-era highly-combustible space shuttles were quite capable of killing astronauts on their own, thank you very much. > [@](#): > > _Timecop_ > Absolutely nothing Timecop promised has come true. At one point, there’s a throwaway sequence of a man preparing to masturbate with a VR headset, something we’ve all dreamed about at one time or another (that is, we’ve all dreamed of having VR porn. Hopefully your dreams aren’t haunted by some guy in a big futuristic helmet masturbating). We probably shouldn’t be surprised these guys weren’t able to predict 10 years into the future since these are the same people who gambled their movie on the staying power of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s popularity. Personally, I’m glad that a US super computer didn’t hook up with a Soviet super computer and decide that they were better at running things than we meat machines were. I’m also glad that a drunken, cigar smoking, time travelling robot under the influence of a computer virus hasn’t shown up to steal our greatest art treasures. Finally, I’m glad that no giant, radiation spawned lizards are roaming the planet. No, on second thought, I’d kind of _prefer_ that! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/73 "2008-01-06T03:54:17Z")
I’m glad we don’t rely on the damn Vulcan logic. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/74 "2008-01-06T06:32:46Z")
[QUOTE=zamboniracer] I’m glad we don’t rely on the damn Vulcan logic. [/QUOTE] Yes, the actuality of war and starvation is infinitely preferable. 😉 I, for one, am pleased NOT to welcome our new ant overlords. I’m happy we don’t have to stabilize Ringworld by killing off billions of sentient beings. I’m relieved that I don’t have to choose between FEET or PODS for my children. Or kick a young girl out of the airlock to complete my mission to save an ailing planet. And I’m delighted that, so far, we’ve had no trouble with tribbles. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/75 "2008-01-06T06:34:27Z")
The Dolphins are still here. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/76 "2008-01-06T07:19:28Z")
I can still eat meat, swear, drink alcohol, and be as big an asshole as I wanna be without being fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute. I am INFINITELY grateful that there are more restaurants than Taco Bell. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/77 "2008-01-06T07:30:09Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] Illudium phosdex resources remain abundant. [/QUOTE] And we can still shave! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/78 "2008-01-06T14:06:27Z")
Time has yet to break into fragments. Or different speed zones. Stop motion photography has yet to show that a nuclear explosion is actually the Devil. Armageddon hasn’t arrived, we haven’t defeated the invading legions of Hell with our robot armies, and we haven’t then watched Jesus and the Holy Host descend from Heaven, heal the robots and take them to Heaven in our place. Earth hasn’t been taken over by robots programmed to make humans happy at any cost, down to performing brain surgery on you to make SURE you are happy. Earth has yet to undergo a worldwide conversion to Islam via mind control as a prank. So far, Twilos with eyes in the back of their head have yet to steal our thumbs. The human species has yet to be assimilated by a single group mind calling itself “Frank”. ( _Let’s Be Frank_; love the title ) At least, I’m not Frank . . . ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/79 "2008-01-06T14:14:29Z")
I don’t see any Sci-Fi future for us, on the contrary, I see us getting more and more conservative. Take our housing: we still build houses that are copies on AD 1600 models (complete with fireplaces)-WHY! -our populace rejects science-and believes in ghosts, withces, evil spirits, etc. Most reject evolution -a big chunk of the planet (islamic world) rejects rights for women, rejects freedom of thought -we cling to obsolete notions of ogevernment (in the USA, we have these ridiculous primary elections) WE have advanced technology-yet we refuse to free ourselves of this worship of the past! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2008, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164/80 "2008-01-06T16:15:18Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] The human species has yet to be assimilated by a single group mind calling itself “Frank”. ( _Let’s Be Frank_; love the title ) At least, I’m not Frank . . . [/QUOTE] I thought it was “Psmith”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reasons-im-happy-scifi-hasnt-become-reality/432164.md?page=5)