Reasons not to try a restaurant.

[Chefguy]

Places I don’t go in:

Anyplace with sneeze shields (all you can eat joints).

In general, places that advertise “Mexican & Italian Food”, or some such unholy duo. That said, there is a pretty good Chinese & Pizza place here.

Any large building with a huge parking lot that says it’s a steak house (a la Lone Star, Outback, etc.). Guaranteed second-rate beef.

Reasons to leave before ordering: Unwashed tables, condiment bottles with dried contents on them or greasy fingerprints, musty smells, dirty water glasses or flatware, and in one case (I’m not making this up): dogshit on the floor.

[Nava]

@Dr. Rieux

Any place with the word “Bistro” in its name is probably overpriced.

Unless it’s right across the border from me.

[Argent_Towers]

@Sapo

Dirty aprons mean that they are not just nuking processed food. A good sign.

The one thing I don’t accept: Mexican cooks in a chinese restaurant. Or chinese cooks in a greek restaurant. Or greek cooks in a mexican restaurant. An ethnic restaurant must be owned and staffed by people of that ethnicity (waiting staff excluded, of course).

I am notably tolerant of hygienic shortcomings on the places I eat, though.

The Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain made it seem like the cooks at a lot of great Italian restaurants in New York are Mexican, Ecuadorian, or whatever, and not actually Italian. From what I understand, these line cooks are quite good, and have assimilated all the knowledge of Italian cooking passed on to them by the head chefs. On the other hand, I haven’t done enough dining in big cities to know the difference between Italian-staffed kitchens and Mexican-staffed ones. But I do know that the best Italian meal I ever had was in a little upstairs restaurant owned and staffed by a small family, somewhere in Chicago. I can’t remember the name of the damn place though. But it was basically like eating in someone’s home and not at a restaurant.

[Carl_Corey]

Not too much to add here, except:

There are some expensive restaurants here in my neck of the woods (Center City, Philadelphia) and they might serve some good food. I will never know because those places are jammed so full of tables that you are practically on top of the other diners. So you can hear every conversation but your own. Sorry, but if I’m paying $25 for an entree, I want a little space.

[Autumn_Almanac]

Excessive noise/music. Buffets (except for Chinese). A menu that only contains one ‘type’ of food-- like only seafood or only pasta. I like to be able to mull over different options when I decide what to order.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Restaurants/bars with sawdust on the floor, to make it seem “rustic”.

Well, if by “rustic” they mean “unmopped floors with old food on them”…yeah, they’re “rustic”–like a barn! :mad:
Ditto on the poor Health Dept score thing.

[Liberal]

I’m a fairly moody restaurant patron. Sometimes I like a fancy place. Sometimes I like a hole in the wall. But restaurants designed to attract screaming kids, like pizza party places, are always actively avoided.

[Jodi]

Here’s my list, most of which has been already said:

No “all you can eat,” no buffet restaurants. (I will go to the occasionaly buffet in a regular restaurant, like for Easter or Mother’s Day, but not to a King’s Table or other “all we do is buffet” places. And don’t get me started on “Chinese” buffet.)

Don’t really care if it’s crowded or not, but if it’s not and the staff ignores us as I stand at the door, I’m out of there.

Being seated and then not getting served for an unreasonable length of time, I’m out of the there.

If it’s noticably smoky when I arrive, I won’t eat there unless the people I’m with want to.

Less than a 90 on a health score

Anything that sets off alarm bells hygiene-wise. I mean, you can ask to have a sticky table wiped off, but if the over all impression is “you’ll receive a free side of e coli with your entree!”, then no way.

No place flying the confederate flag. (Yeah, it happens here in the South, though rarely.) I’m not sure what message is being conveyed, but I don’t want any part of it.

[The_Swan]

@The Sausage Creature

Less than a “B” rating by the Health Dept.

*Less * than a B rating? You may need to think about raising your standards a little.

In my experience, restaurants with less than a 90 rating are absolutely filthy.

[Acsenray]

@Sapo

The one thing I don’t accept: Mexican cooks in a chinese restaurant. Or chinese cooks in a greek restaurant. Or greek cooks in a mexican restaurant. An ethnic restaurant must be owned and staffed by people of that ethnicity (waiting staff excluded, of course).

Is this realistic? My understanding is that in American metros, the vast majority of American workers are Hispanic, regardless of the type of restaurant. Even Anthony Bourdain stresses that if you’re serious about cooking professionally, you had better learn Spanish.

[Acsenray]

@acsenray

the vast majority of American workers are Hispanic

… the vast majority of kitchen workers …

Also …

@Shoshana

UK-y spelling in the US (“Ye Olde…”)

I don’t think that “ye olde” is any more UK-y than it is US-y. It’s just faux “old timey.”

[Anne_Neville]

@Jodi

No “all you can eat,” no buffet restaurants. (I will go to the occasionaly buffet in a regular restaurant, like for Easter or Mother’s Day, but not to a King’s Table or other “all we do is buffet” places. And don’t get me started on “Chinese” buffet.)

I generally avoid “all you can eat” places, too, just because I know I will end up eating too much and feeling lousy afterward.

[ralph124c]

…like the “OUTBACK” chain of “Autralian” food. I figure that advertising is expensive…and the advertising budget has to come out of the food budget. I have eaten at the Outback, and its overpriced and quite mediocre. Small family-owned places are my favorite; generally the food is much better.

[Rebecca_DiMwitter]

@ralph124c

…like the “OUTBACK” chain of “Autralian” food. I figure that advertising is expensive…and the advertising budget has to come out of the food budget. I have eaten at the Outback, and its overpriced and quite mediocre. Small family-owned places are my favorite; generally the food is much better.

This is my absolute preference as well. I avoid all chain-restaurants like the plague they are, unless positively dragged there by someone whose company I enjoy who will sometimes like those types of places (Applebee’s comes to mind here, a favorite of my b/f’s children, or Olive Garden, a favorite of one of my dearest friends) . Give me locally-owned and operated any day! I’ll gladly wait in line at any of the family-owned places near me.

–Beck

[phall0106]

In addition to what’s been added already, I would also like to put in my thoughts on avoiding places with the “Server Wanted” signs–it’s pretty much definate that the service will be horrible.

[Harriet_the_Spry]

Places that have gotten bad publicity for their hiring and other HR practices. I’m lookin’ at you, Cracker Barrel.

I also really avoid the major fast food chains, after Fast Food Nation. Going back to graduate school has occasionally resulted in off-hours cravings that drove me to the local Wendy’s, and even once to Hardees (what was I thinking!) but I hope I can avoid future indiscretions.

[velvetjones]

@flodnak

We’ve done the Disney/Orlando thing, and I understand the kids need to blow off some steam after a lot of standing in line combined with sensory overload at the theme parks. This is why you find a motel with a pool and a playground, and let 'em blow off steam there, before supper, while you supervise. Plan ahead, people.

As an Orlando area resident I’d like to thank you for your admirable attitude. It’s just too bad others don’t think like you do. Please come back. Maybe you can teach by example.

[MacTech]

Living in southeastern coastal Maine, i’ve always found it amusing (to say the least) that anyone would eat at the chain seafood resturants (Red Lobster, i’m looking at you…), or the chain “Italian” resturants (Olive Garden and the like), when minutes down the road are legitimate, family run resturants that serve actual seafood or Italian food

for example, in Portsmouth, NH, there’s an Olive Garden and Red Lobster just outside the Fox Run Mall, no less than a 3 minute drive away, right off the Portsmouth traffic circle sits Momma D’s Casa Di Pasta, an AUTHENTIC Italian resturant, still serving Momma’s original hand-crafted recipies, handmade pasta sauces, and a massive bowl of salad with a homemade dressing so good i could drink it as a beverage in an of itself, heck, the salad alone is a meal in and of itself

hmm, assembly-line pasta, or home-made pasta made with love?..

coastal Maine and Portsmouth NH also have no shortage of real seafood resturants, so it baffles me why anyone would eat at Red Lobster, when they could take a 10 minute drive down to Kittery, Maine and eat at Bob’s Clam Hut, the Weathervane, or Roberts, or a little further down route 1 to Bosn’s Landing (home of the overstuffed, dislocate-your-jaw-to-eat-it lobster roll) all real, family owned resturants serving seafood fresh off the boats…

hmm, lobster that’s been caught off the Maine Coast, shipped to the Red Lobster warehouse, then sent back to the local RL, OR lobster purchased at the local fishermans wharf, and driven a short drive back to Kittery/York, never even leaving York County…

as far as Weathervane Vs. Bob’s, i choose Bob’s, why?
first off, it’s a traditional New England roadside stand, a far more rustic dining experience (and i prefer rustic dining), Weathervane is a fancier sit-down place (still casual, just more of a sit-down place), but more importantly, the Weathervane is owned by JERKS…

Bob’s was planning to open a fancier “Weathervane-esque” sit-down place on the site of the old Dutchman resturant, the Weathervane suits decided to call in the lawyers and bring frivolus lawsuit after lawsuit against Bob’s in an attempt to drag the opening of Roberts along as long as possible and potentially bankrupt them, jerkish, assholish behavior does not sit well with me, so i no longer patronize Weathervane, they’ve become far too corporate for my tastes anyway…

Heck, if I was to open a seafood resturant here, one of my selling points would be in addition to a “No Smoking” section, i’d also have a “No Children” section, a seperate, acoustically isolated environment with an 18 year old minimum age limit, to be fair to families, i’d also have a kids-freindly section, but the No Kids section would be completely isolated from the noisome little brats

[ivylass]

@The Swan

*Less * than a B rating? You may need to think about raising your standards a little.

I wish we had these in Florida. There are letter ratings in South Carolina, and the grades were posted right on the door.

One restaurant had a C rating, and we turned right around and went back to the car. I think it closed up shortly after that.

[SnakesCatLady]

@acsenray

Is this realistic? My understanding is that in American metros, the vast majority of American workers are Hispanic, regardless of the type of restaurant. Even Anthony Bourdain stresses that if you’re serious about cooking professionally, you had better learn Spanish.

I bartended at a Japanese resturant in Atlanta - the chefs and managers were Japanese, the wait staff were Japanese, Chinese or Korean and the dishwashers were Mexican. I was the only Caucasian employee. It was fun - most of the wait staff were college students, so I helped them with their English and they taught me to cuss in Japanese.