# Recast a classic movie to make it terrible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266 "2009-11-20T07:46:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/21 "2009-11-20T18:14:40Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > … starring Paris Hilton > > Need I go on? You left out: **Kind Hearts and Coronets** , with The Duke, The Banker, The Parson, The General, The Admiral, Young Ascoyne, Young Henry and Lady Agatha, played by Paris Hilton. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/22 "2009-11-20T18:21:54Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > _Harvey_ > > Elwood P. Dowd: Al Pacino Oh my gawd. That is priceless. One of my five favorite movies, and one of the most overrated actors, of all time. Would you please be so kind as to fill in the rest of the cast?? Harvey can (and should, IMO) remain invisible, but I trust you to do the right thing. Edit- or maybe Pacino as Elwood wouldn’t leave room for any other cast members. . ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/23 "2009-11-20T19:05:02Z")
**Sleuth** with **Mel Brooks** as Andrew Wyke **Jim Carrey** as Milo Tindle “You wanta play GAMES? We got all kinda games. We got Monopoly, we got Sorry, we got CLUE – You like Clue, Milo? That one always kills me! How about a Dreidel?” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/24 "2009-11-20T19:08:38Z")
**Rocky** Rocky Balboa - Paul Reiser Adrian - Fran Drescher Mickey - Jon Lovitz Apollo Creed - Chris Tucker Paulie - Kevin James ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/25 "2009-11-20T19:41:18Z")
**The Magnificent Seven** Yul Brynner … Chris Adams … Vin Diesel Eli Wallach … Calvera … Cheech and/or Chong Steve McQueen … Vin … Tom Cruise Charles Bronson … Bernardo O’Reilly … Christopher Walkern Robert Vaughn … Lee … George Clooney Brad Dexter … Harry Luck … Keanu Reeves James Coburn … Britt … Jack Nicholson ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/26 "2009-11-20T19:58:49Z")
OOoh… I got another one: **Dirty Harry** with Billy Crystal in the title role. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/27 "2009-11-20T20:06:51Z")
**Apocalypse Now** Capt. Willard … Fozzie Bear Col. Kurtz … Kermit the Frog Lt. Col. Kilgore … Gonzo You know, on second thought, I might actually really like this. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/28 "2009-11-20T20:43:10Z")
Hayden Christensen is…BATMAN ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/29 "2009-11-20T20:53:18Z")
This may be perilously close to “so bad it’s good,” but what the hell… Jerry Lewis-- Rorschach Dean Martin-- Nite Owl Ethel Merman-- Silk Spectre Frank Sinatra-- Dr. Manhattan Mickey Rooney-- Ozymandias Maurice Chevalier-- The Comedian ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/30 "2009-11-20T21:03:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Maurice Chevalier-- The Comedian You can include a scene where The Comedian sings “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” to Laurie, _Silk Spectre II_. That _is_ what you had in mind, right? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/31 "2009-11-20T21:27:21Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Example: _Star Wars_, with… > > Matthew McConaughey as Han Solo > Mel Gibson as Darth Vader > Wanda Sykes as Princess Leia > Ronald Reagan as Obi-Wan > and Joe Pesci as Luke Skywalker. Can I tell you how much I want to see this film? This will be more of a camp classic than _Showgirls_. > [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > OOoh… I got another one: > > **Dirty Harry** with Billy Crystal in the title role. Seen _Running Scared_, have we? Here’s the casting that has me waking up in cold sweats: _Casablanca_: Richard Blaine: Nicolas Cage Ilsa Lund: Angelina Jolie Victor Lazlo: Jon Voigt Captain Renault: Samuel L. Jackson Major Strasser: Will Ferrell Signor Ferrari: Kevin James Ugarte: Gilbert Godfrey Sam the Piano Player: Chris Tucker Stranger ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/32 "2009-11-20T21:30:26Z")
> [@](#): > > Ugarte: Gilbert Godfrey Possibly the scariest idea so far. I can just hear his grating voice: “You don’t care for me Rick, do ya? AFLAC!” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/33 "2009-11-20T21:55:51Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > **Psycho** : > Vince Vaughn … Norman Bates > > ``` > Anne Heche ... Marion Crane > > Julianne Moore ... Lila Crane > > Viggo Mortensen ... Samuel 'Sam' Loomis > > William H. Macy ... Milton Arbogast > > Robert Forster ... Dr. Fred Simon > > Philip Baker Hall ... Sheriff Al Chambers > > ``` Heh, I was going to say The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/34 "2009-11-20T22:09:40Z")
A Hard Day’s Night **Ozzy Osbourne** as John Lennon **Kayne West** as Paul McCartney **Kid Rock** as George Harrison **Tommy Lee** as Ringo Star ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/35 "2009-11-20T22:32:18Z")
**Star Wars** : Han Solo - Jason Mews Chewbacca - Kevin Smith Darth Vader - Vern Troyer Voice of Darth Vader - Dan Castellaneta C-3PO - Ice Cube Obi-Wan Kenobi - Pat Morita Luke Skywalker - Chris Tucker Princess Leia - Wanda Sykes Grand Moff Tarken - Adam Sandler ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/36 "2009-11-20T22:46:20Z")
Will Ferrell and Amy Acker in any movie. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/37 "2009-11-20T22:49:57Z")
Nicolas Cage is Citizen Kane ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/38 "2009-11-20T23:14:49Z")
“The Out of Towners” “Sargeant Bilko” “Pink Panther” Steve Martin ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/39 "2009-11-21T00:02:55Z")
Jay Leno as Victor/Victoria ---
**Author:** ![Ston\_Col](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Ston\_Col](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ston_Col)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/40 "2009-11-21T00:12:34Z")
A Nicholas Cage version of Citizen Kane would be secretly fantastic. How about Sean Connery as Gandalf? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266.md?page=3)