# Recast a classic movie to make it terrible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266 "2009-11-20T07:46:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/61 "2009-11-21T20:44:37Z")
> [@koufax](#): > > 9 1/2 WEEKS > > Drew Carey > Shelly Duvall [8½](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/8_1/2) with the same gruesome twosome. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/62 "2009-11-21T21:01:50Z")
**Peter Pan** , with Danny Devito in the title role. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/63 "2009-11-21T22:52:05Z")
What about recasting the Indiana Jones movies with Shia LaBeouf… oh wait. Come to think of it there’s no movie that LaBeouf wouldn’t make worse… ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/64 "2009-11-21T23:17:26Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > **The Thin Man** > > Nick Charles … Vincent D’Onofrio > Nora Charles … Amanda Plummer Two excellent actors, and I can totally see d’Onofrio playing an awesome lush. Where’s the problem here? > [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > Will Ferrell and Amy Acker in any movie. Amy Acker? The girl from Angel and Dollhouse? I don’t think she’s even made it into movies, but she seems a fine actress to me. Why the odd pairing here? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/65 "2009-11-21T23:45:56Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Two excellent actors, and I can totally see d’Onofrio playing an awesome lush. > > Where’s the problem here? Excellent actors, yes; but very intense. I just can’t picture them dialing it down enough to play such an effortless, breezy comedy. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/66 "2009-11-22T00:05:24Z")
_The Hunchback of Notre Dame_, with George Clooney in the title role. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/67 "2009-11-22T01:36:36Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_, with George Clooney in the title role. Roseanne Barr as Esmeralda ---
**Author:** ![MizTina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MizTina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizTina)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/68 "2009-11-22T05:21:50Z")
> [@Ston\_Col](#): > > How about Sean Connery as Gandalf? Ah, Sean’s had experience with little people before. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/69 "2009-11-22T06:40:33Z")
**Sid and Nancy** David Niven as Sid Vicious Audrey Hepburn as Nancy Spungen ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/70 "2009-11-22T07:45:50Z")
**Lawrence of Arabia** , starring: Jeremy Clarkson as Colonel T.E. Lawrence Sacha Baron Cohen as Sherif Ali Jackie Chan as Auda abu Tayi Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy) as Lowell Thomas Jerry Seinfeld as General Allenby AND “Weird Al” Yankovic as Prince Feisal ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/71 "2009-11-22T16:53:34Z")
GHANDI George Kennedy as Ghandi ---
**Author:** ![HepToTheJive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@HepToTheJive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HepToTheJive)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/72 "2009-11-23T06:36:47Z")
**Blue Velvet** Sandra Oh — _Dorothy Vallens_ Judge Reinhold — _Jeffrey Beaumont_ Dan Aykroyd — _Frank Booth_ Melanie Griffith — _Sandy Williams_ Richard Dean Anderson — _Ben (Dean Stockwell character)_ ---
**Author:** ![independentminded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed8c4c/32.png) [@independentminded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/independentminded)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/73 "2009-11-23T10:13:57Z")
I’m not up on many of today’s actors and actresses, so I don’t really have a dog in this discussion, but I’ll say this: A remake of the film _West Side Story_, imho, would be a total disaster, because the heart and soul would be cut right out of it. To re-cast _West Side Story_ and totally destroy it would be the inclusion of Irene Cara as Anita, J. Lopez as Maria, Tom Cruise as Riff, and John Travolta as Bernardo. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/74 "2009-11-23T16:44:32Z")
> [@independentminded](#): > > I’m not up on many of today’s actors and actresses, so I don’t really have a dog in this discussion, but I’ll say this: > > A remake of the film _West Side Story_, imho, would be a total disaster, because the heart and soul would be cut right out of it. To re-cast _West Side Story_ and totally destroy it would be the inclusion of Irene Cara as Anita, J. Lopez as Maria, Tom Cruise as Riff, and John Travolta as Bernardo. I’d prefer Rosie Perez in the Maria role: “Yo, fuckin’ Tony, what the fuck you lookin’ at, muthafucka?” ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2009, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/75 "2009-11-23T23:34:47Z")
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD Andrew Dice Clay…Atticus Jay Leno…Boo Tina Fey…Scout ok Ill stop ---
**Author:** ![independentminded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed8c4c/32.png) [@independentminded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/independentminded)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/76 "2009-11-24T01:35:11Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’d prefer Rosie Perez in the Maria role: “Yo, fuckin’ Tony, what the fuck you lookin’ at, muthafucka?” To each their own.:o ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/77 "2009-11-24T02:20:16Z")
The Godfather Dom Deluise as Don Corleone Sylvester Stallone as Michael Keanu Reeves as Sonny Jean-Claude Van Damme as Tom Hagen Tony Danza as Clemenza Scott Baio as Tessio Nancy Sinatra as Kay Adams Alyssa Milano as Connie Ben Kingsley as Fredo and Joey Fatone as Johnny Fontane ---
**Author:** ![Sincere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sincere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sincere)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/78 "2009-11-24T03:00:06Z")
Cool Hand Luke Luke Ashton Cutcher Warden Christopher Walken Dragline Jerry “the king” Lawler ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/79 "2009-11-24T03:47:37Z")
**High Noon** : Charles Nelson Reilly Phyllis Diller ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2009, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266/80 "2009-11-24T05:46:17Z")
War Of The Worlds: Tom Cruise … oh. Never mind. . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-a-classic-movie-to-make-it-terrible/518266.md?page=5)