# Recast Casablanca! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 1, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519 "2000-12-01T04:23:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/1 "2000-12-01T04:23:26Z")
My lovely roommate, the film student, has a class assignment where she has to pretend that she is the producer of a remake of Casablanca. **Uke** , grab **Eve’s** smelling salts. Eve, it’s okay, they are not ACTUALLY remaking it, it’s just an exercise for class. She gets to plan out budgets, catering, schedules, etc. - all that fun stuff. But she also has to recast all of the roles with current actors and actresses (ie: not dead). So help her out, and have some fun! Who would you cast for these roles? Rick Blaine Ilsa Lund Captain Renault Victor Laszlo Sam the Piano Man Ferrari Major Strasser Jan Brandel Annina Brandel Ugarte ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/2 "2000-12-01T04:57:01Z")
This has already been done once, although a bit more tongue in cheek than might meet your roommate’s needs. [Cast the evil-twin CASABLANCA!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=39301) I don’t think anyone really took a serious shot at the question. ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/3 "2000-12-01T06:25:12Z")
I cannot think of a good Rick. As Ken Begg from Jabootu says, popular stars today are so \*boyish. \* It’s hard to think of one, especially an American, who could bring that care-worn, hard-bitten air to the role that Bogart did. Anyway, some possible choices for the roles: Rick - Robert Downey, Jr. or Ed Harris (toldja I couldn’t think of a good one). Ilsa - Embeth Davidtz or Connie Nielsen Renault - Kevin Spacey Laszlo - Gabriel Byrne Sam - Clarence Williams III Ferrari - John Rhys-Davies or Marlon Brando Strasser - Jurgen Prochnow or David Warner Jan Brandel - Rufus Sewell Annina Brandel - Milla Jovovich Ugarte - Vince Schiavelli ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/4 "2000-12-01T14:32:03Z")
Rick Blaine . . . George Burns Ilsa Lund . . . Gracie Allen Captain Renault . . . W.C. Fields Victor Laszlo . . . Groucho Marx Sam the Piano Man . . . Chico Marx Ferrari . . . “Cuddles” Sakall Major Strasser . . . Franklin Pangborn Jan Brandel . . . Edward Everett Horton Annina Brandel . . . Una Merkel Ugarte . . . Harpo Marx Now, THAT’S a version I would pay good money to see! ---
**Author:** ![lesa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/34f0e0/32.png) [@lesa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lesa)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/5 "2000-12-01T14:49:48Z")
I like Eve’s idea! Face it, if they did Casablanca today it would star Julia Roberts, Will Smith, Bruce Willis, Keanu Reeves, Helen Hunt, and Jack Nicholson. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/6 "2000-12-01T15:06:57Z")
Rick Blaine…Adam Sandler Ilsa Lund…Nikki Cox Captain Renault…David Spade (unstunned) Victor Laszlo…Fabio Sam the Piano Man…Elton John in a dress Ferrari…Drew Carey Major Strasser…Daniel Stern Jan Brandel…Danny de Vito Annina Brandel…Rhea Perlman Ugarte…Francis the Talking Mule Okay…the first shot of Rick, instead of sitting over a cigarette and chessboard, he’s playing Twister by himself and drooling… ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/7 "2000-12-01T23:27:26Z")
Hmm…Ronald Reagan as Rick, Ann Sheridan as Ilsa, … No, wait, they already tried that, but had to settle for Bogart and Bergman. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![retsin2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@retsin2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/retsin2000)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/8 "2000-12-02T00:37:22Z")
Rick Blaine…Kevin Spacey or Andre Braugher ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/9 "2000-12-02T01:02:53Z")
Recast _Casablanca_? Why? ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/10 "2000-12-02T02:59:11Z")
I don’t know about the rest of the cast (too tired to think of them all), but why not cast Bergman’s daughter, Isabella Rosselini (?sp) as Ilsa. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/11 "2000-12-02T04:32:07Z")
The whole notion is sacrilege, but what the heck: Rick Blaine=======Harrison Ford Ilsa Lund=========Catherine Deneuve Capt. Renault=====Alan Rickman Victor Lazlo======Sean Connery(must have some reason for Ilsa to leave Rick for him) Sam the Piano Man=Billy Joel(OK,bad joke. Still…) Ferrara===========Robert DeNiro Major Strasser====Ian McKellan Ugarte============Kevin Spacey ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/12 "2000-12-02T05:32:32Z")
Ok, I skipped reading everyone else’s replies because I didn’t want it to color my own reply Rick - Kevin Spacey Ilsa - Julianna Moore Captain Renault - Tim Curry, perhaps (this one’s tough) Victor Laszlo - Ralph Fiennes Major Strasser - Patrick Stewart Sam the Piano Man - Morgan Freeman Ferrari - John Rhys Davies Ugarte - Tony Shalhoub Jan Brandel - Wes Bentley Annina Brandel - Natalie Portman ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/13 "2000-12-02T05:34:41Z")
Personally, I was sort of disappointed to note the absence of **Jim Carrey** from all of the submitted lists. ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/14 "2000-12-02T05:34:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mauvaise \* > \*\*I don’t know about the rest of the cast (too tired to think of them all), but why not cast Bergman’s daughter, Isabella Rosselini (?sp) as Ilsa. \*\* I thought about her. My objection is that Ingrid Bergman was 27 when she played Ilsa. Isabella Rosellini is 48 now. She would have been ideal in her prime, but I think it’s a little too late for her to play the role now. For the same reason I rejected Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Isabelle Adjani. All are still beautiful, but would lack that touch of youthful innocence and naivete that Bergman brought to the role. (My suggestions were Embeth Davidtz or Connie Nielsen, BTW). ---
**Author:** ![Danimal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Danimal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danimal)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/15 "2000-12-02T05:40:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beakerxf \* > \*\*Ok, I skipped reading everyone else’s replies because I didn’t want it to color my own reply > > Rick - Kevin Spacey > Ilsa - Julianna Moore > Captain Renault - Tim Curry, perhaps (this one’s tough) > Victor Laszlo - Ralph Fiennes > Major Strasser - Patrick Stewart > Sam the Piano Man - Morgan Freeman > Ferrari - John Rhys Davies > Ugarte - Tony Shalhoub > Jan Brandel - Wes Bentley > Annina Brandel - Natalie Portman > \*\* Interesting that we all want Spacey in it, but none of us agree on what role he should play. Tony Shalhoub is a good choice for Ugarte, would definitely be my first call after Schiavelli. Fiennes would be an excellent Laszlo too, maybe better than Byrne. And I picked the exact same guy for Ferrari. - Not \* Freeman for Sam! That massive dignity, that grave voice, are completely wrong for someone as light-hearted as Sam. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/16 "2000-12-02T05:49:50Z")
Having just seen him on Leno - how about Russel Crowe as Rick? He’s a bit flavor-of-the-month, I know, but he just seems right. I also nominate Liam Neeson in Full Saint Mode as Laszlo. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/17 "2000-12-02T08:39:03Z")
This is great, thanks guys! ---
**Author:** ![beakerxf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@beakerxf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beakerxf)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2000, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-casablanca/43519/18 "2000-12-02T14:48:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Danimal \* > > - Not \* Freeman for Sam! That massive dignity, that grave voice, are completely wrong for someone as light-hearted as Sam. Captain Renault and Sam were the two hardest parts to cast. Renault because I can’t imagine anyone other than Claude Rains in the part and Sam because his modern-day filmmakers would likely update the Rick/Sam relationship. I thought about Don Cheadle for a while, but felt he was too young. Ving Rhames has a playful streak, but I’m not sure if people would buy him as a meek piano singer. I only picked Freeman because I didn’t want to leave it blank.