# Recast Star Trek with your favorite show. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 1, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782 "2014-06-01T17:52:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/21 "2014-06-02T15:32:16Z")
The crew of the USS Sweathog Captain Gabe T Kottair First Officer A’nld H’ro Chak, a Klingon Fred “Boom-Boom” Washington, tactical officer Julie Kotter, civilian manager of 10-Forward, and the Captain’s ex-wife (she chained her name, a little, after the divorce) One E’p Stine, half-android, half Puerto Rican, half Jewish; Helm Lt Cmdr. Bar Breeno, the Psychlo Chief Engineer Lt. Hotsi Totsi, ship’s counselor Dr. Woodman, the exasperated CMO ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/22 "2014-06-02T15:42:30Z")
**J.A.Q**.-brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/23 "2014-06-02T15:45:08Z")
Captain Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) First Officer Drake (William Hopper) Engineer Hamilton Burger (William Tallman): Dr. Tragg (Ray Collins) Communications officer Della Street (Barbara Hale) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/24 "2014-06-02T15:45:54Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > **J.A.Q**.-brilliant! 🙂 Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![blue\_infinity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_infinity/32/2817_2.png) [@blue\_infinity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blue_infinity)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/25 "2014-06-02T16:19:19Z")
Crew of the WNYX Enterprise (Newsradio) Captain: Jimmy James First Officer: Dave Nelson Android: Bill McNeal Chief of Security: Catherine Duke Ship’s Counselor: Lisa Miller Chief Engineer: Joe Garrelli Doctor: Beth Ensign: Matthew Brock ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/26 "2014-06-02T16:49:09Z")
These are the adventures of the USS Seinfeld… Captan: Jerry Seinfeld. First Officer: Cosmo Kramer Communications officer: Elaine Benis Navigator: George Costanza Chief Engineer: David Puddy Redshirt: Newman ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/27 "2014-06-02T16:53:34Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > These are the adventures of the USS Seinfeld… > > Captan: Jerry Seinfeld. > First Officer: Cosmo Kramer > Communications officer: Elaine Benis > Navigator: George Costanza > Chief Engineer: David Puddy > Redshirt: Newman Can Newman be ALL the red shirts? He could die every week. Maybe several times in each episode. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/28 "2014-06-02T17:12:57Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Captain Jack Donaghy > First Officer Pete Hornblower (heh) > Doctor Mulroney > Communications Officer Jordan (Until he sees his boobs and goes to his quarters) > Captain’s Yeoman Cerie > Navigator Frank > Helmsman Toofer > > The occasional unbalanced Commodore Hooper > > And Special Guest Star Tina Fey as Cruise Director Liz Lemon. Who constantly eats up the Captain’s time with the problems of her relatively minor department. > > Captain Donaghy: “Great Bird of the Galaxy Lemon! I have an entire ship to run!” I think the Liz-ard should be Captain but what’s really odd is no Dr. Spaceman?!? This is the role he was born for! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/29 "2014-06-02T17:41:20Z")
**The Muppet Show** Kermit the Captain First Officer-Scooter Ship’s Counselor-Miss Piggy “HI-YAAH!!! You’ve been counseled.” Tactical Officer-Gonzo The Great Redshirts-the chickens Weapons Officer-Lew Zealand and his Boomerang Fish Chief Engineer-Beaker Ship’s Doctor-Bunsen Honeydew Ship’s Entertainment-Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem Secret weapon-Animal 10-Forward- Fozzie the Bear Food replicators-Maintence and Programming Technician-The Swedish Chef Admiral at Starfleet HQ-Sam The Eagle The Borg-Staler and Waldorf “Resitance is futile. You will be heckled.” Underfoot Ensign-Robin The Frog Transporter Chief-Rowlf The Dog ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/30 "2014-06-02T17:50:58Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > **The Muppet Show** > > Kermit the Captain > First Officer-Scooter > Ship’s Counselor-Miss Piggy “HI-YAAH!!! You’ve been counseled.” > Tactical Officer-Gonzo The Great > Redshirts-the chickens > Weapons Officer-Lew Zealand and his Boomerang Fish > Chief Engineer-Beaker > Ship’s Doctor-Bunsen Honeydew > Ship’s Entertainment-Dr Teeth and The Electric Mayhem > Secret weapon-Animal > 10-Forward- Fozzie the Bear > Food replicators-Maintence and Programming Technician-The Swedish Chef > Admiral at Starfleet HQ-Sam The Eagle > The Borg-Staler and Waldorf “Resitance is futile. You will be heckled.” > Underfoot Ensign-Robin The Frog > Transporter Chief-Rowlf The Dog Good one. That’s Kermit T. Frog. But I’m seeing Miss Piggy as Lwaxana. Now I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the real Lwaxana without seeing Miss Piggy. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/31 "2014-06-02T18:06:52Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Good one. > > That’s Kermit T. Frog. > > But I’m seeing Miss Piggy as Lwaxana. Now I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the real Lwaxana without seeing Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy has always displayed the tact and sensitivity to properly deal with any problem a crewmember brings to her. 😃 Lwaxana was just annoying. I’m surprised Wesley isn’t _her_ kid. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/32 "2014-06-02T18:45:55Z")
These are the voyages of the USS Minnow Capt. Jonas “Jean-Luc” Grumby 1st Officer Willie “Ryker” Gilligan Chief Engineer Roy “Professor” Hinkley Chief Financial Officer of Starfleet Commodore Thurston Howell XXIX Counselor “Lovey” Howell Operator of 10-forward Ginger “Grant” Guinan Ensign Mary Ann “Wesley” Summers The ship seems woefully understaffed, but it won’t matter as it’s only a three hour mission–A THREE HOUR MISSION. ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/33 "2014-06-02T18:59:02Z")
> [@Erdosain](#): > > I think the Liz-ard should be Captain but what’s really odd is no Dr. Spaceman?!? This is the role he was born for! I totally forgot Nazi Doctor Spaceman. And just threw it to Jenna for the medicinal brandy and exotic STDs. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/34 "2014-06-02T19:39:50Z")
> [@Dale\_Sams](#): > > Doctor Mulroney Dude, Doctor SPACEMAN! It fits so much better! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/35 "2014-06-02T19:58:44Z")
Star Parks and Trekreation Captain: Leslie Knope, who micromanages every little thing on the _Enterprise_ First Officer: Ben Wyatt, with Spock ears, bc he’s a trekkie Dr: Ann Perkins, the captain’s longtime friend and crying towel Chief Engineer: Ron Swanson “I cannot increase warp because of the laws of physics, which are irrevocable and inviolate. We’re done here.” Communications Officer: April Ludgate, who hangs up on all incoming transmissions Security Officer: Andy Dwyer, actually FBI agent Burt Macklin Navigator: Tom Haverford “But Lesleeeeeeee, I look dope in gold!” Counselor: Chris Traegor “This is literally the weirdest emotion I have ever experienced.” Ten Forward Hostess: Donna Meagle “Uh uh, you had enough synthehol, bitch.” Redshirt: fall guy Larry/Gary/Harry Gergich ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/36 "2014-06-02T20:36:27Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > The crew of the USS Sweathog > One E’p Stine, half-android, half Puerto Rican, half Jewish; Helm Isn’t he still missing a half? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/37 "2014-06-02T20:43:52Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > West Wing: > > Captain: Jed Bartlett > First Officer: Leo McGarry > Communications: Toby Zeigler > Doctor: Abby Bartlett > Helms: Josh “Lemon” Lyman > Engineering: Sam Seaborn With Donna as Transporter officer and C.J. Craig as Security chief. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/38 "2014-06-02T22:36:02Z")
The crew of the USS Milwaukee Captain: Howard Cunningham First Officer: Richie Cunningham Dr: Marion Cunningham Chief Engineer: Ralph Malph Communications Officer: Mitsumo “Arnold” Takahashi Security Officer: Arthur “Fonzie” Fonzarelli Navigator: Potsie Weber Ten Forward: Al Delvecchio Wesley Crusher proxy: Joanie Cunningham Redshirt: Chuck Cunningham clones ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/39 "2014-06-02T22:59:15Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Capt. Merrill T Steubing > First Officer Gopher Smith > Dr. Adam “Bones” Bricker > Vickie “Wesley” Steubing > Isaac Washington - either Chief Engineer, or master of 10-Forward > Cruise Director/ship’s counselor Julie (no last name, like Ilia of Delta) When Patrick Stewart hosted SNL in the early 90s, they did this very skit. I remember that Charo fell in love with a Ferengi. Simpsons Trek Captain Picard - Grampa Commander Riker - Homer Counselor Troi - Marge Data - Ned Flanders Worf - Barney Dr. Crusher - Lisa Geordi - Carl Carlson Wesley - Bart Tasha Yar - Maude Flanders Chief O’Brien - Grounskeeper Willie Ill-fated redshirt - Hans Moleman Lwaxana Troi - Edna Krabappel Romulan Commander - Mr. Burns Romulan Sub-commander - Smithers Borg unit (all of them) - Principal Skinner Borg Queen - Agnes Skinner Ferengi (all of them) - Moe ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782/40 "2014-06-03T03:18:26Z")
Loony Tunes Captain Yosemite Sam Science Officer Bugs Bunny Communications Daffy Duck Engineer: Wile E. Coyote Navigation: Road Runner Medical: Sylvester Red Shirt Wile E. Coyote (dual role [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-star-trek-with-your-favorite-show/689782.md?page=3)