# Recast your favorite movie/play with Muppets **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 2, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065 "2006-08-02T20:24:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/1 "2006-08-02T20:24:54Z")
Okay, you all know the drill. It worked pretty well with _A Christmas Carol_, moderately well with _Treasure Island_, but kind of fell flat with _The Wizard of Oz_. So how would _you_, Mr./Ms. Movie Mogul Doper, recast a movie or play with Muppets? Here are the rules. 1. Only Muppets need apply. Exceptions will be made only for puppet characters from _The Dark Crystal_ and/or _Labrynth_. Other entities (even those from the Henson Creature Shop) are not allowed. References to human actors should be minimal. 2. Keep it as clean as possible. _Brokeback Mountain_ with Bert and Ernie may be funny, but juxtaposition of wholesome kid-friendly Muppets with sex (whether tender or skanky) is lacking in creativity. If you want to discuss Muppet sex (homo, hetero, bestial, et al), or drugs, start your own damned thread. 3. There is, admittedly, a dearth of well-known female muppets. Gender switches (drag or “trouser” roles) are allowed. Here’s my opening submission: _ **Muppet Ocean’s Eleven** _ _ **Cast:** _ Danny Ocean - Kermit the Frog (who knew he could play an amoral character?) Tess - Miss Piggy (Who else?) Terry Benedict - Fozzie Bear (yeah, lousy casting, but Fozzie is always lousy casting) Rusty - Rowlf (faithful sidekick) Linus - Scooter (the kid) Frank - Dr. Teeth (just _that much_ short of respectable) Virgil & Turk - Floyd Pepper & Zoot (plenty of obnoxious banter) Yen - The Great Gonzo (_you_ try to stop him from doing his own stunts) Saul - Waldorf (Hmmm? What? Must’ve dozed off there for a second) Basher - Crazy Harry (Crazy Harry plays with electromagnetic pulses!!!) Livingston - Animal (Ahh! Don’t touch button! Argraararrghh!) Reuben - Statler (C’mon, know anyone who can kvetch more convincingly? ;j ) Bruiser - Sweetums (There’s something loveable under all that hair and muscle) Mr. Walsh (casino manager) - Sam the Eagle (Can you think of anyone more trustworthy?) I’m sure you folks can top this one. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/2 "2006-08-02T20:32:55Z")
**My Dinner with Fozzie** With Kermit in the Wallace Shawn role. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/3 "2006-08-02T21:02:59Z")
Just to go for the obvious … _**Muppet Star Trek Cast:**_ Captain James Kirk - Kermit the Frog (Of course.) First Officer Spock - Gonzo the Great (_You_ try to stop him from sticking his head in the scanner thing.) Dr. Leonard McCoy - Statler and Waldorf (In an Olsen-type switchoff.) Commander Scott - Animal (Kermit: “Okay, okay, we won’t go to warp! Just don’t rip my arms off!”) Uhura - Miss Piggy (Don’t mess with her hailing frequencies.) Sulu - Sam the Eagle (Don’t call him Tiny.) Chekov - Fozzie the Bear (Chekov always did look ridiculous in that wig.) Alien of the Week - Sweetums (Duh.) Redshirt of the Week - Beaker (He’s always getting blown up anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/4 "2006-08-02T21:20:21Z")
> [@Kizarvexius](#): > > _Brokeback Mountain_ with Bert and Ernie may be funny, but juxtaposition of wholesome kid-friendly Muppets with sex (whether tender or skanky) is lacking in creativity. Darn. I was gonna suggest a _Brokeback Mountain_ variant called _Faggle Rock_. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/5 "2006-08-02T21:25:50Z")
**Statler and Waldorf are Dead** Rosencrantz - Statler Guildenstern - Waldorf The Player - Sweetums Hamlet - Kermit King - Link Hogthrob Queen - Miss Piggy and the rest of the characters are pretty unimportant ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/6 "2006-08-02T21:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > The Princess Bride Buttercup - Miss Piggy Westley - Kermit Inigo Montoya - Rowlff Fezzig - Sweetums Vencini - Gonzo Prince Humperdink - Fozzie Bear Count Rogan - Zoot Miracle Max - Statler Valerie - Waldorf in drag the Albino - Janis Did I get everybody? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/7 "2006-08-02T21:28:31Z")
Count Rogan - [del]Zoot[/del] Floyd Pepper (Zoot is too spacey for that role) ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/8 "2006-08-02T21:29:33Z")
oh yeah The sick kid - Scooter Grampa - the guy who juggles fish ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/9 "2006-08-02T21:49:45Z")
ST:TNG Picard: Kermit (duh) Riker: Rolff the dog Troi: Miss Piggy (duh). “Oh Captain? I’m sensing some negative emotions…” Worf: Animal (duh) LaForge: Dr. Teeth Data: Fozzie. Perfect for Fozzie’s cluelessness. Dr. Crusher: Gonzo in drag. Wesley: Scooter ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/10 "2006-08-02T22:03:36Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > Grampa - the guy who juggles fish Isn’t _that_ Floyd Pepper? ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/11 "2006-08-02T22:25:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Isn’t _that_ Floyd Pepper? No, man, Floyd Pepper is the guitarist for the Electric Mayhem. Lew Zealand is the fish-throwing fellow. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/12 "2006-08-02T22:46:17Z")
“Frankly, Miss Piggy, I don’t give a damn”. “Solyent Green is Muppets!” ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/13 "2006-08-02T23:08:18Z")
Kill Bill- The Bride- Miss Piggy Bill- Kermit O-Ren- Gonzo Vernita- Swedish Chef (she was the most dangerous woman with a knife) Bud- Fozzie Elle Driver- Scooter Buck- Dr. Teeth Hattori Hanzo- Sam the Eagle Kung Fu Master ( I cannot remember his name )- Rizzo Go-Go- Animal Sofie- Camilla the Chickien ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/14 "2006-08-02T23:09:34Z")
Muppet Sunset Boulevard Norma Desmond: Miss Piggy Joe: Kermit The butler guy: Gonzo The Nice Girl: Janice The Nice Girl’s other boyfried: Fozzie Mr. DeMille: Rowlf The repo men: Statler and Waldorf The band at the New Year’s Eve party: The Electric Mayhem, of course. Picture Miss Piggy snarling, “No one leaves a star! That’s what makes one a star!” ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/15 "2006-08-03T00:04:00Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > **Statler and Waldorf are Dead** > > Rosencrantz - Statler > Guildenstern - Waldorf > The Player - Sweetums > Hamlet - Kermit > King - Link Hogthrob > Queen - Miss Piggy > > and the rest of the characters are pretty unimportant Brilliant! Breathtaking! Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/16 "2006-08-03T05:01:29Z")
The Rocky Horror Muppet Show Kermit and Piggy as Brad and Janet Gonzo as Eddie Animal as Rocky Horror The Old Guys In The Balcony as No-Neck Fozzie as Dr. Franken Furter Swedish Chef as Dr. V. Scott I’m afraid that’s all the muppets I can think of at this late hour (OK, it’s 10PM here, but I’m beat) ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/17 "2006-08-03T05:33:32Z")
Not to be all self referential and stuff, but… I vahz hier [first](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288314&highlight=passion+kermit) ! ---
**Author:** ![No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/no_me_ayudes_compadre/32/5224_2.png) [@No\_Me\_Ayudes\_Compadre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/No_Me_Ayudes_Compadre)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/18 "2006-08-03T05:35:42Z")
**Blue Muppet** Fozzie as Frank - “I’ll fuck anything that moves, waka waka waka!” Naturally, Miss Piggy as Dorothy - “You put your disease in moi.” Sam the Eagle in the Dean Stockwell role. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/19 "2006-08-03T06:16:15Z")
**Muppet Club** The Narrator - Kermit (“Muppet Club was the beginning, now it’s moved out of the basement, it’s called Project Henson.”) Tyler Durden - Rowlf the dog (“Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I sniff you in the ass or the crotch?”) Marla Singer - Janice ("You take the nude modeling support group. Listen, I don’t take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS “artistic.”) Bob Paulson - Fozzy Bear (“This is Fozzy. Fozzy had bitch tits”) Random fighters - Sweetums (“aw come on guys! I wanna join the Muppet Club!”) Yoda (“Fight, or do not. There is no try.”) Beaker (“Meep meep meep meep meep!”) Augrha ("PROJECT HENSON IS THE END OF THE WORLD! Or the beginning. Hm.) Animal (“Eat eardrums! Eat eardrums!”) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065/20 "2006-08-03T06:36:06Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > No, man, Floyd Pepper is the guitarist for the Electric Mayhem. Lew Zealand is the fish-throwing fellow. OHHH. Okay, thanks for the reminder. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recast-your-favorite-movie-play-with-muppets/367065.md?page=2)