# Recent Staycation with Family....think I realized my sister is a sociopath **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2014, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144 "2014-10-22T13:07:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Fallen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Fallen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallen)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/61 "2014-10-27T20:50:28Z")
“It was my only week this year, it has been over a year, and it’ll be another year until I get a week off again.” If your profession or job only allows you a week off, surely it is of more concern that you’d spend your vacation with someone you call a “pathological liar”. (Please read up on sociopathy and vow not to misuse terms like this again. To be sure, people toss around equally as serious words with abandon and never know what they in fact mean, _e.g._, “stalker” and “harass” and what not.) “When she arrived she surprised us with the fact that she is pregnant. She told us she was trying to get pregnant for the last month but two weeks ago said she was giving it a break.” If this is not a miscommunication, sounds like another ploy 'cause the second sentence makes no sense and is contradictory within itself (in other words, the chick was “pregnant” and had been trying to get pregnant for … two weeks?). 🙂 “The very first night she came in her fiance spent the majority of dinner playing on his phone.” And this is different from his usual behavior … how? “… I had majorly miscalculated this visit.” I’d say it’s more worthwhile to examine whether you routinely delude yourself or set yourself up for disappointment. In other words, do your domestic enemies/mental Nazis routinely have the upper hand? What is exciting about this “campus” you mention that tourists would want to see? Rhetorical. “Girlfriend and I are devastated.” Really? “Devastated”? Why didn’t you acknowledge reality on the first or second day and then do what YOU wanted to do and leave passive-aggressive sister a/k/a “socio” to her own devices? “Now folks, I’ve had my entire vacation time wasted and ruined by two childish people …” If it was “ruined”, it was you who did it in that you allowed it and didn’t make a choice not to do what you wanted to do with your time, without the socio sister. “… who I’d thought had grown up in the last two years I’d met them seeing as their rushing into having a baby.” Huh? “We get out of the car as we’ve arrived and I say some pretty bile things, admittedly bile…” Presume you intended to type “vile”. “… I don’t want to expand too much on why I think she is a sociopath unless anyone is actually interested.” Nothing you’ve said indicates your sister is a sociopath. I suggest you have bigger things about which to worry. “I have decided that I won’t be around her any more. Ever.” That’s certainly your choice, and I’d examine, among other things, why you didn’t make that choice sooner. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/62 "2014-10-27T21:32:09Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Good ol’ Aunt…Anthony? 😛 Aunthony. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/63 "2014-10-27T22:59:37Z")
> [@AnthonyElite](#): > > I could understand her being rather tired, but still her entire lack of enthusiasm was vexing. Why come if you’re not truly interested? Or at least let me know you are pregnant ahead of time so I can cancel the week vacation, let you get rest and take my vacation another time? And even if all we did is sit around the house and play video games, board games, and watch TV I still would have had a good time, but her and fiance did nothing but play with their phones. Right. If she had cancelled, you’d of started a thread about that being horrible of her too. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/64 "2014-10-27T23:25:43Z")
> [@papergirl](#): > > Sociopath or not, your sister is self-centered and no fun. My own sister is angry at the world for no other reason than that other people seem to be happy and she is not. This ruins every interaction we have had. Like you, I hit the wall and quit seeing her. Life is more peaceful now. I got so tired of her draining the fun from everything, and not being able to talk about anything good in my own life for fear of pissing her off. (And I don’t mean bragging; I mean things like “I’m finally recovering from that uti” or “I got my car fixed finally”. That’s the level of living-it-up that will make her mad.) > At any rate, I’m sorry your vacation was ruined…it’s such a bummer to have high hopes and have them dashed. So start planning NOW to have a bang-up good ol’ time NEXT year, far far away from the miserable sister! Whoa, I think we have the very same sister. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/65 "2014-10-27T23:31:14Z")
Nothing you talked about came even close to sociopath or narcissist, nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Earthman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9dc877/32.png) [@Earthman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthman)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144/66 "2014-10-27T23:53:25Z")
Well, you pick your friends, and you (mostly) pick your enemies - but your family, you’re just effin’ stuck with. Until you unstick yourself. My late father had a saying which I have found to be invariably true: “Shit stinks, and when you stir it up it gets worse.” I would just kick back, maintain radio silence, and wait for them to contact you. It sounds like it will happen soon anyway due to the impending blessed arrival. Judge by the tone and substance of their communication whether or not you want to take an active role in the relationship or not. Consider simply ignoring things you find objectionable, so as not to stir. Be sure to avoid saying things that you can’t take back. Beyond that, just enjoy the benefit of distance. In time, the right answer will come to you - you will make the right choice. Keep in mind that some people are unbearably toxic, and you may be related to them - it happens in the best of families. Earthman, who abandoned ties to his toxic family long ago and has been immeasurably happier ever since. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recent-staycation-with-family-think-i-realized-my-sister-is-a-sociopath/702144.md?page=3)