# Recipe from hell
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 20, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430 "2011-08-20T14:23:24Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/1 "2011-08-20T14:23:24Z")
I’m making a cake for denizens of Tartarus, with the the following ingredients.
one teaspoon cerumen oil
two cubes of the finest French smegma cheese
mix in three cups of succus entericus extract
fold in one pound of strained meconium
a dash of sweetened crusta lactea (to taste)
I’m wondering if I’ve forgotten anything. Do you have anything to suggest, either for the cake itself or a side dish?
(I suggest a Google Image search on each ingredient, to get into the spirit of the thing.)
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/2 "2011-08-20T14:44:36Z")
Substitue fromunda cheese for the smegma cheese.
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### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/3 "2011-08-20T14:49:58Z")
Good one! I was trying to think of a less-direct synonym.
Also: ewww.
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### Author:  [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/4 "2011-08-20T19:29:15Z")
I find your ideas interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
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### Author:  [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/5 "2011-08-20T23:19:55Z")
is it a multilayer cake? make fromunda cheese frosting instead of using it as a substitute for the smegma\* (similar to creamcheese frosting) and put toejam between the two layers?
\*although I’m just guessing this would work, I’m not a chefguy nor have I ever played on tv or in a movie
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### Author:  [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/6 "2011-08-20T23:38:23Z")
Second hit from a Bing search for _French smegma cheese_ is…this thread.
**Koxinga** ’s own bid for search engine immortality 😃
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [August 20, 2011, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/7 "2011-08-20T23:53:25Z")
To me, it only works if you somehow manage to add Bhut Jolokia, ipecac and a good amount of fibre.
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### Author:  [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/8 "2011-08-21T00:41:48Z")
> [@SeldomSeen](#):
>
> Second hit from a Bing search for _French smegma cheese_ is…this thread.
>
> **Koxinga** ’s own bid for search engine immortality 😃
Only the SECOND? :eek:
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### Author:  [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/9 "2011-08-21T01:22:01Z")
> [@Ike\_Witt](#):
>
> To me, it only works if you somehow manage to add Bhut Jolokia, ipecac and a good amount of fibre.
But, fiber makes us… sad.
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/10 "2011-08-21T02:08:09Z")
My additions are strictly for better AoE.
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### Author:  [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/11 "2011-08-21T14:05:28Z")
All physical ingredients? No lost souls, no wasted lives, no hopeless tears, no aborted… dreams? C’mon!
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### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/12 "2011-08-21T14:21:03Z")
Yes, physical ingredients for the damned souls. The souls themselves and all their shattered dreams yadda yadda yadda at some point become foodstuffs for the demons, but that’s not my department.
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### Author:  [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/13 "2011-08-21T14:22:44Z")
Souls are the spice of life, and hellish cakes! Just saying.
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### Author:  [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/14 "2011-08-21T14:25:10Z")
1. Whisk together ingredients in a porn shop’s mop bucket.
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### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/15 "2011-08-21T14:27:13Z")
One more condition: all ingredients must be at least theoretically edible. No thumbtacks.
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### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/16 "2011-08-21T14:52:30Z")
I don’t see any tofu in that cake. Can’t get much nastier than tofu.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/17 "2011-08-21T14:58:08Z")
Every time I read the thread title, I read it to the tune of [_Gidget Goes To Hell_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPoPhqCMYhg).
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### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/18 "2011-08-21T15:05:37Z")
> [@Baker](#):
>
> I don’t see any tofu in that cake. Can’t get much nastier than tofu.
Oh, I was saving [stinky tofu](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinky_tofu) as a side dish. The first time I visited Taiwan, I had to stop and gag for a moment, asking my companion, “who on _Earth_ is frying _dog shit_ on the street?!”
Only problem is some people apparently like it. Bleah.
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/19 "2011-08-21T15:44:49Z")
I hope when the OPs done, they’ll consider adding a plastic bride & groom on top.
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### Author:  [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2011, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recipe-from-hell/593430/20 "2011-08-21T15:54:02Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#):
>
> I hope when the OPs done, they’ll consider adding a plastic bride & groom on top.
Or 2 grooms.
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