I’m partial to Duncan Shepard at www.sdreader.com. He’s very strict about what he likes, but over the years I have developed an interpretation of his “star” rating method.
: Average Hollywood output; an OK evening at the movies.
** : Worth going out of your way to seeing.
***: Exceptional; a truly memorable movie.
Apparently he does have four and five star movies but I’ve never seen 'em. The good thing is he is very consistent, so when I read a review I know where I stand in terms of wanting to see a movie or not.
And Smeg, God bless the negative correlation movie reviewers. I’ve used more than a few of them through the years…
I often read the Filthy Critic. His reviews are mean spirited and laced with profanity, but also very funny. Here’s what he said about Brando’s performance in the score:
He does nothing but waddle around, breathe heavily, sweat and mumble. Any time I want to see that all I need to do is spill some jelly beans down the clearance aisle at Hancock Fabrics.
In his current review, “Curse of the Jade Scorpion”, he makes fun of his own sponsors.
I can’t figure out if his working class act is real or not
He does nothing but waddle around, breathe heavily, sweat and mumble. Any time I want to see that all I need to do is spill some jelly beans down the clearance aisle at Hancock Fabrics.
Sounds like Don Imus!
The problemI find with most reviewers is they say Movie X sucked or movie Y was great but they don’t say why and if they do say why movie X sucked they don’t say what the filmmakers could have done to improve the problems. In short they don’t offer constructive criticism, just criticism. The only 2 I’ve found who actually offer thoughtful, constructive critiques of movies are Roger Ebert and our very own Cervaise. Ebert in particular often echoes my own views in his reviews and even when we completely disagree I can always see his point anyway. Very good reviewer. Also, check out Cervaises review of Battlefield Earth. It’s hysterical
If you like Ebert, check out the DVD of Dark City. The alternate soundtrack is his scene by scene and shot by shot analysis of this film. It is incredibly astute. You wil have a greater appreciation of the insight he brings to his reviews.
Ebert is probably the only critic that I check out on a regular basis and usually agree with.
The main thing that I enjoy about Ebert’s reviews is that he really understands genre. Now, even though I dislike genre in flicks (which usually leads to formula pictures), I like how he won’t compare a comedy to a drama, or a drama to a kung-fu flick. A lot of critics just don’t generally like comedies, for instance, and thus give them low ratings because of that. He’ll review them for what they are and won’t try to enforce a unifying theory of movies on them (ie. a comedy might not hold up to The Godfather, but it still might be damn funny, and is good for that reason).
Ebert in his younger day was fairly reliable, I found. If he liked something, then it was sure to be pretentious, overblown, boring, and pseudo-“arty.” So I always knew that if he liked something, I wouldn’t.
Alas, he couldn’t be relied on the other way, just because he disliked something was not a reliable guide.
In his old age, sadly, he’s become erratic and he occasionally likes films that I do, too.
I like Berardinelli too. I also like Bams from Three Black Chicks.
IMO, Ebert is a better writer than a reviewer. His reviews are always entertaining to read, but I find them poor guides on what to expect from the movie.
I really hate Hollywood Bitchslap. I went there with promises of it being a sort of “alternative” review site, where the just gave the straight-up facts bout the movies. no dice, it’s the same crap you see everywhere else. A few months ago their lowest rated movie was two stars. Now, your opinion on what it might be will differ, but I’m certain everyone here can think of a one star or 0 star movie this summer. It’s the same grade inflation, the same defending of shitty movies, the same pandering to the studios as everywhere else.
I agree with whoever said the Onion’s reviews are good. They really are, and they do tend to go into a little more details about why a movie was bad or good.
