# Recommend cold, sterile, vaguely menacing artwork **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 7, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195 "2011-07-07T16:04:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/21 "2011-07-07T19:25:35Z")
I could make you a print of [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/11822576@N08/2624423105/sizes/l/in/photostream/). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/22 "2011-07-07T19:38:06Z")
Well, one of the best creepy paintings I know of is [“The Hands Resist Him”](http://rumbur.ru/f/869712_Hands_Resist_Him.jpg), but I’ve never found a source for inexpensive prints. If you want “_overtly_ menacing” rather than just “vaguely”, may I suggest the photography of [url=]Joshua Hoffine? “Keyhole” is a current favorite, as is “Babysitter”. Looks like he’s got a new series inspired by the Lovecraft story **Pickman’s Model**. ---
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/23 "2011-07-07T19:52:46Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > I could make you a print of [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/11822576@N08/2624423105/sizes/l/in/photostream/). You took that? It’s gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/24 "2011-07-07T20:14:22Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > I could make you a print of [this](http://www.flickr.com/photos/11822576@N08/2624423105/sizes/l/in/photostream/). That is absolutely amazing. I came to suggest [Jerry Uelsmann.](http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1024&bih=604&q=Jerry+Uelsmann&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&oq=Jerry+Uelsmann&aq=f&aqi=g10&aql=undefined&gs_sm=s&gs_upl=4560l4560l0l1l1l0l0l0l0l52l52l1l1) ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/25 "2011-07-07T20:24:58Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > You took that? It’s gorgeous. Yes, in Hobbs, NM a few years ago. Thanks for the complement. ---
**Author:** ![loshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce73a5/32.png) [@loshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/loshan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/26 "2011-07-07T20:29:38Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > You took that? It’s gorgeous. And, after further thought, if you are offering prints, how much and where do I sign up? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/27 "2011-07-07T20:32:11Z")
[Lucian Freud](http://www.google.com/search?q=lucian+freud&hl=en&prmd=ivnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=FBcWTuL-NIbgsQK7u6kt&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=1198&bih=679): Nude paintings; definitely cold, kinda sterile, and slightly menacing perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/28 "2011-07-07T20:39:28Z")
You could always find some trippin’ [Margaret Keane](http://gamil.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/keene-alone.jpg) stuff… ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/29 "2011-07-07T20:52:21Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > And, after further thought, if you are offering prints, how much and where do I sign up? 😃 PM sent. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/30 "2011-07-07T21:12:12Z")
Some of the empty urban landscapes by [de Chrico](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=800&bih=485&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=de+chirico&oq=de+chirico&aq=f&aqi=g10&aql=undefined&gs_sm=e&) might interest you. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/31 "2011-07-07T21:59:12Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > [http://thumbs.imagekind.com/member/d3271a3d-f04f-4cce-a592-00dc6400e0ba/uploadedartwork/650X650/1f37fd41-9abc-4e77-b017-c9a3ab7bd38c.jpg](http://thumbs.imagekind.com/member/d3271a3d-f04f-4cce-a592-00dc6400e0ba/uploadedartwork/650X650/1f37fd41-9abc-4e77-b017-c9a3ab7bd38c.jpg) > This one’s super menacing. All those finger-branches… What I love about that is how you can stare at it for an hour trying to figure out what it _says_… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/32 "2011-07-07T22:08:22Z")
[Gallery of art](http://www.eldritchdark.com/galleries/by-cas/) of [Clark Ashton Smith.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clark_Ashton_Smith) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/33 "2011-07-07T22:10:49Z")
The cold, empty fifties’ Dutch cityscapes with eerie lightning by Dutch painter [Carel Willink](http://www.google.nl/search?q=carel+willink&hl=nl&prmd=ivnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=LC4WTui1Js-YOqGdjQE&ved=0CDkQsAQ&biw=1680&bih=959)perhaps? (some NSFW thumbnails there) [SFW example:](http://www.cityguidehaarlem.com/wp-content/uploads/Carel-Willink-Stadsgezicht.jpg). Willink is famous enough for you to be able to buy all sorts of reproductions. Or [David Hockney perhaps?](http://lagraphicdesign.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/myparents_b.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/34 "2011-07-07T22:17:28Z")
David Hockney might be a good bet. He has some Ikeaness about him, yet is cold. Here is that rare thing you asked about, [work that is both cold and in bright orange.](http://monkeymoo12345pdp.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/hockney-eyl-jacket.jpg)"]a painting in bright orange that is nevertheless cold and lonely. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/35 "2011-07-08T00:21:11Z")
> [@loshan](#): > > You took that? It’s gorgeous. Seconded. I just showed it to my wife, who also really liked it. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/36 "2011-07-08T00:46:15Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > David Hockney might be a good bet. He has some Ikeaness about him, yet is cold. Here is that rare thing you asked about, [work that is both cold and in bright orange.](http://monkeymoo12345pdp.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/hockney-eyl-jacket.jpg)"]a painting in bright orange that is nevertheless cold and lonely. [Hockney](http://www.hockneypictures.com/works_paintings_90_09.php) is one of my favorite; his colors are generally intensely vivid and brilliant. In this vein but [Pop Art](http://www.google.com/search?q=Pop+Art&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en-us&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=6VAWTu2zGcapsQL3teUq&ved=0CDsQsAQ&biw=1133&bih=631): [Alex Katz](http://www.google.com/search?q=alex+katz+image&hl=en&prmd=ivnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=glAWTqn1IsGosAL_x_hp&ved=0CCEQsAQ&biw=1198&bih=679) , [Roy](http://ontologicalmuseum.org/bookgiftshop/popart/index.html) [Lichtenstein](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=1198&bih=679&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=roy+lichtenstein+paintings&oq=Roy+Lichtenstein&aq=8&aqi=g7g-s1g2&aql=undefined&gs_sm=c&gs_upl=266168l269606l0l1l1l0l0l0l0l97l97l1l1) and [Tom Wesselmann](http://www.google.com/search?q=Tom+Wesselmann+images&hl=en&prmd=ivnso&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=HFAWTvbnCcaGsgKHtbxS&ved=0CBwQsAQ&biw=1198&bih=679) (NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/37 "2011-07-08T02:15:40Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > My first thought was a nice big print of a scary storm cloud, preferably threatening a lonely farmhouse or something. Y’know, like a classic [mesocyclone](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://pattersonpages.wikispaces.com/file/view/Supercell_Thunderstorm.jpg/33761313/Supercell_Thunderstorm.jpg&imgrefurl=http://pattersonpages.wikispaces.com/Robert%2Bweather&usg=__Ho0LD39PV_PkIa_miuI4gHsrs0I=&h=550&w=806&sz=306&hl=en&start=24&zoom=1&tbnid=Bf1EBFXjMTwkJM:&tbnh=134&tbnw=173&ei=mdwVTs6fO7O00AGokpFs&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmesocyclone%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DxEs%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D749%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=800&vpy=181&dur=599&hovh=185&hovw=272&tx=107&ty=90&page=2&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:24). You’d have the menace in spades, the cold sterility of a largely monochromatic image, and the thematic sterility of nature at its most ruthless and potentially destructive. > > Upon googling, I also found this site full of [apocalyptic posters](http://www.redbubble.com/shop/apocalyptic+posters), and thought that several of them might fit your needs. Franklin Delano! I don’t think I could spend one night in a place that had the one with the gas masked figure looking in the window \. The cyclone is gorgeous though. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/38 "2011-07-08T02:58:42Z")
Alex Andreyev: [http://www.alexandreev.com/](http://www.alexandreev.com/) [http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/Night.jpg](http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/Night.jpg) [http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/Pearls.jpg](http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/Pearls.jpg) [http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/House-at-the-sea.jpg](http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/House-at-the-sea.jpg) [http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/It.jpg](http://www.alexandreev.com/sites/default/files/It.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/39 "2011-07-08T04:15:29Z")
[Zdzislaw Berksinski](http://gnosis.art.pl/iluminatornia/sztuka_o_inspiracji/zdzislaw_beksinski/zdzislaw_beksinski.htm)’s stuff runs from [vaguely menacing](http://gnosis.art.pl/iluminatornia/sztuka_o_inspiracji/zdzislaw_beksinski/zdzislaw_beksinski_1981_2.htm) to [the stuff of nightmares](http://gnosis.art.pl/iluminatornia/sztuka_o_inspiracji/zdzislaw_beksinski/zdzislaw_beksinski_1983.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195/40 "2011-07-08T04:37:06Z")
You are all highly cultured and deeply disturbed people. I greatly appreciate it. However, I just remembered that I intend to live in my apartment for some years - and, well, I’d kind of like to have sex here at some point. I don’t think that will happen if I take more than one or too of the tips offered here. I think I’m backing off my plan for a “lawful evil” decor scheme. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-cold-sterile-vaguely-menacing-artwork/588195.md?page=3)