# recommend me a title for my conservative column
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 16, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056 "2004-08-16T05:33:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@chefIL11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chefIL11)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/1 "2004-08-16T05:33:13Z")
I am a newly appointed writer for a conversvative column of a newspaper produced by my University and I need a title… any ideas? I am covering political issues from primarily a republican standpoint.
I’m asking this question hoping not to get smart-ass answers by bitter democrats.so if you are planning on writing a smart-ass response bashing conservatives and republicans, please dont waste your time. 🙂
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/2 "2004-08-16T05:57:28Z")
Call yourself “The Pragmatist.” Or maybe “[life/the world/today’s events, whatever]seen through uncolored glasses.” 😛
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### Author:  [@nonnative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonnative)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/3 "2004-08-16T06:05:38Z")
I’m not really conservative but these came to mind…
-Friends of the Right
-View from the Right
-I **AM** the Right Godammit
-The Realist
-God Doesn’t Like it When You Hug Trees
Sorry, it’s late and Im bored…
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/4 "2004-08-16T06:14:09Z")
_God Doesn’t Like It When You Hug Trees_ is the best title ever. For _ **anything** _.
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### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/5 "2004-08-16T06:19:27Z")
OK, let me get this straight. You’ve been appointed as a **writer** for the newspaper.
And the very first writing task that you have, you ask someone else to complete it for you?
Well, i suggest that, in good conservative fashion, you title your column “Outsourced.”
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### Author:  [@chefIL11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chefIL11)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/6 "2004-08-16T06:28:04Z")
see, mhendo, its responses like that which make me reluctant to post questions in which I need other opinions… I’m not asking for an article title, ideas for an article, or even opinions on an issue I’m writing about. I certainly have some ideas which I would like to use for a title but I am turning to the dopers for better ideas.
I wrote that little disclaimer so I wouldn’t get responses like you left… so my advice to you: Stop wasting your time… go into MPSIMS and post whatever you want, just keep your “Attempt at insults” out of here… I’m sure I’m not the only one who is sick of it.
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/7 "2004-08-16T06:42:59Z")
Also in good conservative fashion, apparently you don’t want to hear anything which disagrees with your world-view. 😉
In that vein, may I suggest “Nothin’ But The Right Stuff”?
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### Author:  [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/8 "2004-08-16T06:46:25Z")
> [@rjung](#):
>
> Also in good conservative fashion, apparently you don’t want to hear anything which disagrees with your world-view. 😉
>
> In that vein, may I suggest “Nothin’ But The Right Stuff”?
How dickish. Someone comes in to ask an opinion, and specfically asks for honest suggestions. What happens? rjung has to carpet bomb the OP because he doesn’t agree with his politics. How very tolerant. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/9 "2004-08-16T06:53:40Z")
> [@duffer](#):
>
> How dickish. Someone comes in to ask an opinion, and specfically asks for honest suggestions. What happens? rjung has to carpet bomb the OP because he doesn’t agree with his politics. How very tolerant. :rolleyes:
What a disaster this is turning into. Missed the smiley face, eh, **duffer**?
My advice would be to ask your editor if you can’t think of anything on your own. It’s really his job to come up with something like this.
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### Author:  [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/10 "2004-08-16T07:01:27Z")
I’m with \*\*duffer \*\*on this one.
While I agree with **rjung** ’s politics, his posts about anything political are a different matter entirely. This is hardly the first time he’s posted something like this and his emoticon does not make his post any less rude.
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/11 "2004-08-16T07:07:58Z")
Meh. If there was a rude post, I think it was **mhendo** ’s.
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### Author:  [@nonnative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nonnative)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/12 "2004-08-16T07:13:22Z")
Hijack! Hell yeah!
Yeah well, I think Bush and Kerry should raise an orphaned chimp together to create respect for their respective differences.
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### Author:  [@cmason32](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmason32)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/13 "2004-08-16T07:23:10Z")
_simply right_
Maybe if you posted what school you are going to it might help?
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### Author:  [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/14 "2004-08-16T07:30:11Z")
**Johnnyt27** , well, it looks like you’re not going to be getting much help here…at least for tonight.
If you have no luck tomorrow when more posters are online, I would suggest posting your question in the Pit. A title like “I Need Some Fucking Help With My Fucking Consevative Column” would probably qualify it for a home there. And then open it to all comers. You’ll get lots of insult, lots of crap, and lots of well meaning but wrong-headed advice. But you’ll also benefit from of the passion and overall high intelligence of the Pit posters mulling your question, and you’ll get some excellent suggestions along with the crappy ones. Then it’s just a matter of separating the wheat from the chaff.
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### Author:  [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/15 "2004-08-16T08:19:27Z")
How about “The Token”?
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### Author:  [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/16 "2004-08-16T11:52:23Z")
Well there was “The Bush” then “The Shrub”, I think “The Seedling”. A place for growing ideas and a little republican. Ya can’t go wrong.
Ok daft idea probably but I’m a furriner 😃
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/17 "2004-08-16T12:23:37Z")
> [@mhendo](#):
>
> OK, let me get this straight. You’ve been appointed as a **writer** for the newspaper.
>
> And the very first writing task that you have, you ask someone else to complete it for you?
>
> Well, i suggest that, in good conservative fashion, you title your column “Outsourced.”
> [@rjung](#):
>
> Also in good conservative fashion, apparently you don’t want to hear anything which disagrees with your world-view.
>
> In that vein, may I suggest “Nothin’ But The Right Stuff”?
Why don’t the two of you get together and start a column called “Clueless”? The OP gave a simple request(in IMHO, _not_ The BBQ Pit), but it seems that it just wasn’t simple enough for you two. Let me see if I can make it even simpler-keep your partisan politicking _out_ of IMHO.
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### Author:  [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/18 "2004-08-16T12:47:25Z")
[NB: Despite my liberal-leanings, this post is NOT a smart-ass response.]
First, I think you need to give a little more info about the column you’re writing. And are you asking for a straight forward title or something a little whimsical?
If it’s the former, I would go with something like “A View from the Right” or “The Conservative Corner”. If it’s the latter, I kinda like “An Elephant’s Tale” or “The Elephant in the Living Room” (esp. if it’s a liberal university).
Anyway, more facts about the column and the university would be helpful. And now that Czarcasm has put his foot down, it’s likely that you won’t be distracted by partisan bullshit.
Good luck!
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### Author:  [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/19 "2004-08-16T13:25:51Z")
I rather like “The Right Way” or “Right Writings”. Good luck with the column, please do post a sample some time.
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### Author:  [@Fox\_Paws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_Paws)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/20 "2004-08-16T14:26:24Z")
> [@Aesiron](#):
>
> _God Doesn’t Like It When You Hug Trees_ is the best title ever. For _ **anything** _.
Nah, it’d be better if it was _Every Time You Hug a Tree, God Kills a Kitten_.
My suggestions:
- Redneck Rants From the Right Wing
- Red State Report
- Right Minded
- The Token Conservative
- White Christian Men Are People Too (a better article title than a column title)
Hmm, I’m feeling very uncreative this morning. I’ll finish my Pop Tart and see if that helps.
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