# recommend me a title for my conservative column
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 16, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056 "2004-08-16T05:33:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/21 "2004-08-16T14:59:05Z")
_Vast Right Wing Conspiracy_
_Sawhugger_
_Angry White Male_
---
### Author:  [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/22 "2004-08-16T15:06:09Z")
Some quick ones that come to mind ----
_Right On_
_Write on Right_
_The Write Stuff_
_Write On!_
_To the Right of \_\_\_\_\_\__ your city or school name here
_Right Turn Ahead_
Good luck! I’m a Dem but I love writers and appreciate effort! I’ll keep thinking abou this; glad you asked for suggestions! Have fun with this! 😃
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### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/23 "2004-08-16T15:28:29Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> Why don’t the two of you get together and start a column called “Clueless”?
Interesting that you enforce the rules by breaking them yourself. Maybe you could help us write that column?
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/24 "2004-08-16T16:54:20Z")
Can you tie in something with your school name or mascot?
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/25 "2004-08-16T18:33:01Z")
> [@leander](#):
>
> “The Elephant in the Living Room” (esp. if it’s a liberal university).
I think this one is very clever. Or maybe “Elephant in a China Store.”
Maybe “Grand Old Party Time” or “Grand Old Party Guy.”
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### Author:  [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/26 "2004-08-16T19:01:08Z")
> [@leander](#):
>
> “The Elephant in the Living Room” (esp. if it’s a liberal university).
Ooohh! I think we have a winner.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/27 "2004-08-16T19:24:52Z")
> [@nonnative](#):
>
> Hijack! Hell yeah!
>
> Yeah well, I think Bush and Kerry should raise an orphaned chimp together to create respect for their respective differences.
I think there’s a new series this fall on Fox that has that as the premise. Stars Edward Hermann as Kerry, Stephen Collins as Bush and Robin Williams as the chimp (he’s certainly hairy enough…).
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/28 "2004-08-16T19:27:41Z")
Oh. There was a question.
“Conservatively Correct.”
“Conservative Conversation” as opposed to “Conservative Conservation,” which would be about the above-mentioned non-tree-hugging.
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2004, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/29 "2004-08-16T23:56:46Z")
Just use your own name. You’re entering a very crowded field, and most of the good column names are taken.
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/30 "2004-08-17T00:12:07Z")
\*Listen Up, Your Morons!
Everything’s All Right!
The Right Turn.
Correct Me if I’m Right.
You KNOW I’m Right!
My Way, the Right Way.
All the Right Reasons.
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### Author:  [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/31 "2004-08-17T00:37:15Z")
Well, since it’s a column for a college paper, I suggest:
**Sure, you’re liberal now, but someday you’ll have a house**
That might draw in a broader readership…
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/32 "2004-08-17T01:11:10Z")
I must have a very liberal sense of humor because both mhendo and rjung’s comments made me smile. “Outsourced.” He He.
[David Letterman Voice] Harumph! [/David Letterman Voice]
Anywho, title for your columns:
“Right of Way”
“The Voice of Reason”
“Temporary Sanity”
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### Author:  [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/33 "2004-08-17T02:04:45Z")
I’m working off the word “Right” here. What’s your uni called? Could give us more chances for jokes.
How about:
Right I Am!
Right Ascension
Mr Right
Rightline
Right in the Head
Too right!
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### Author:  [@beltbuckle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beltbuckle)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/34 "2004-08-17T02:24:05Z")
“Liberal Now, Right Tommorow”
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### Author:  [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/35 "2004-08-17T02:43:01Z")
by JohnnyT, and the T is for Truth.
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### Author:  [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/36 "2004-08-17T03:02:32Z")
> [@Bill H.](#):
>
> by JohnnyT, and the T is for Truth.
Best one yet, IMHO 🙂
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### Author:  [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/37 "2004-08-17T03:42:11Z")
JohnnyT, with the column, in the conservatory.
[sub]Guess it’s better than “Rush, with the microphone, in the wrong”… I keed, I keed.
Sorry, the whole conservative thing sent me off on a Clue tangent.[/sub]
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### Author:  [@Plan\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plan_B)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/38 "2004-08-17T03:46:04Z")
> [@leander](#):
>
> I kinda like “An Elephant’s Tale” or “The Elephant in the Living Room” (esp. if it’s a liberal university).
How about just plain “Elephant?” I understand that the recent movie with that name was derived from the expression about the elephant in the living room. So that gives you a pretty good double entendre.
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/39 "2004-08-17T04:08:17Z")
It might help, **Johnnyt27,** if you explain to us what **kind** of conservative you are. There are so many different kinds – libertarians, business conservatives, religious conservatives, foreign-policy neocons, Pat Buchanan populist paleocons, etc.
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### Author:  [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-a-title-for-my-conservative-column/260056/40 "2004-08-17T04:19:28Z")
I’m the editor-in-chief of my college paper, so I might be able to help you here, but I need some clarification. Is this a particularly liberal campus and liberal paper? Are you trying to be the exotic caged animal of the Op/Ed page, scaring all the wittle wiberals, or are you going for a serious conservative response to what you perceive as a liberal editorial page? Are you writing a serious, George Will style column or are you more of a P.J. O’Rourke conservative humorist? (My advice: Lean toward P.J. O’Rourke, if you’re any good at humor. Lectures about the failures of socialist, Democratic policy for economic reform won’t get read in a college paper.)
My paper doesn’t have catchy titles for columnists, so I don’t have any suggestions off the top of my head. It all depends on what kind of paper you work for and how seriously the editors take themselves.
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