Recommend me some new Charlton Heston

Couldn’t help noticing that you’re completely wrong.

So I had some teeth pulled, got laid up on the couch, and rented a couple movies. Among them, the Naked Jungle.

First off, I was under the impression these were giant ants. GIANT ants. They were not. Depressing. I also found myself waiting for these ants. When would they show their giant heads? Or even their small bodies? Alas, it takes over an hour. A bit dissapointing.

But, hey: Heston. He ruled. Surly, hardcore, firing guns at picnic ants. God bless.

And yes, the line about women & pianos…who could disagree? Atta mail-order-bride.

Let me second this. Heston is **amazing ** as Long John Silver; he’s both charming and terrifying at the same time. And the rest of the cast is stellar as well: Oliver Reed as Billy Bones, Christopher Lee as Blind Pew, and a very, very young Christian Bale as Jim Hawkins. The BEST PIRATE MOVIE EVER MADE … far better than Pirates of the Caribbean.

Khartoum, which has the bonus feature of Laurence Olivier chewing up the scenery.

According to Vidal, you couldn’t tell Heston about it, because he wouldn’t have done the film, but he was too stupid to figure it out on his own (Vidal’s comments, not mine). When they were doing the read throughs in the directors office, nearly everyone was in hysterics because they could all tell that Heston didn’t have the faintest idea of what was going on, but everyone else did.

That being said, Heston’s a great actor (and according to a Doper who worked with him, an incredibly polite and humble man). It’s a shame that his outspoken support for the NRA has colored people’s view of him, and it’s also tragic that he’s having to spend the declining years of his life battling Alzheimers instead of doing roles like Burgess Meredith in Grumpy Old Men.

Oh, and stay away from the remake of Planet of the Apes. Heston’s briefly in it (and totally outshines the other actors on screen, IMHO), but the movie’s a total waste. I think even the MST3K guys would have thrown up their hands at the thought of ripping on that movie.

I’m surprised no one has mentioned Wayne’s World 2 in which Heston flawlessly portrayed Good Actor.

I agree. Heston plays a great sneering badguy with a gun (hmmm . . . typecasting?) in The Big Country. Burl Ives as his father–Bad Guy with Honor–steals the movie from Heston, Peck, and Simmons. He was really a great actor. Too bad he’ll mostly be remembered as the voice of the Snowman Narrator in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Another second is Ben Hur. The director, the writer, and his costar played the relationship between Ben Hur and his childhood-friend-turned-vengeful-rival, Messala, as spurned and bitter former lovers. They knew not to let Heston in on the backstory, assuming he’d freak out.

His remake for cable of Man For All Seasons actually compares favorably to the original and in some ways I actually prefer it. (Admittedly, most of what I prefer about it is Roy Kinnear’s character, “the Everyman”, who was one of the best points of the play but was dropped from the Scofield movie, but Heston is quite decent as Thomas More and actually gives more edge to the character.)

Another cable TV movie he did with his son was Treasure Island in which he played Long John Silver. While it’s a story that’s been filmed a time or three too often, this is in my opinion the best of the lot, and he totally captures the lovable rogue and the coldblooded killer aspects of Long John. (Also stars a teenaged Christian Bale as Jim with lots of cameos from British stars as pirates.)

Something I like about Charlton Heston is that he has the ability to laugh at himself. His self mocking roles in Wayne’s World 2, the remake of Planet of the Apes and on SNL are all funny. As much as I disagree with him politically and on the issue of guns, I sided with him over Michael Moore in Columbine because I thought he was exceptionally gracious to allow Moore in to begin with, and Moore definitely edited the interview to cast Heston in the worst possible light.

Somehow I glossed over the fact that Treasure Island was already mentioned, so I’ll just say “I third it”.

He has a brief but very good turn in Branagh’s Hamlet as “The Player King” (the lead actor in the travelling troupe that performs the regicidal play at the palace).

Am I the only one who thinks that Heston gets overlooked as an actor? While he’s not Anthony Hopkins or Ian McKellen perhaps, he’s certainly not William Shatner either (even though he’s parodied just as much). And while he’s often vilified for his conservative views and having headed the NRA, it’s forgotten by many that he also marched with MLK when that was a potential career killing move and that he worked hard to stamp out racism in the entertainment industry (even in liberal Hollywood it was entrenched).

I think of him more as dragging it on the ground behind him.

I’m going to recommend Dark City with a young Heston, and featuring Jack Webb playing a villain.