# Recommend me the Bible **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770 "2009-09-20T00:38:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/21 "2009-09-22T05:37:03Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > If you’d like to see a Jewish translation, Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan’s “Living Torah” is very easy to read. The translation is very modern, almost casual. The footnotes are mostly along the lines of, “ **Word** (_Hebrew Word)_ can also be read as Something Else (Rashi, Ibn Ezra), Similar Word (Rambam), or Completely Different Idea (Rabbi Perosn of Place).” > It also often changes biblical colloquialisms into modern colloquialisms, but the footnotes will mention that “show of power” is literally “hand of God”. On the same lines, the JPS (Jewish Publication Society) translation is very readable, though I was a little disappointed in its accuracy compared to the NRSV. And if you want something that captures the sound, rhythm and feeling of the Hebrew text, absolutely nothing can compare to Everett Fox’s [masterful translation](http://www.amazon.com/Five-Books-Moses-Leviticus-Deuteronomy/dp/0805211195/) of the Pentateuch. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/22 "2009-09-22T13:48:31Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > On the same lines, the JPS (Jewish Publication Society) translation is very readable, though I was a little disappointed in its accuracy compared to the NRSV. And if you want something that captures the sound, rhythm and feeling of the Hebrew text, absolutely nothing can compare to Everett Fox’s [masterful translation](http://www.amazon.com/Five-Books-Moses-Leviticus-Deuteronomy/dp/0805211195/) of the Pentateuch. And just when is Fox going to get The Prophets and The Writings out? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/23 "2009-09-22T15:10:24Z")
To my mind, this is one area where the Internet is very useful - if you want a particular passage, you can run it through multiple versions and see how the "flavour’ changes. I use this site: [1 samuel 8 KJV - And it came to pass, when Samuel was - Bible Gateway](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20samuel%208&version=KJV) ---
**Author:** ![davidw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c4cdca/32.png) [@davidw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidw)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/24 "2009-09-22T15:13:09Z")
> [@Alan\_Smithee](#): > > And if you want something that captures the sound, rhythm and feeling of the Hebrew text, absolutely nothing can compare to Everett Fox’s [masterful translation](http://www.amazon.com/Five-Books-Moses-Leviticus-Deuteronomy/dp/0805211195/) of the Pentateuch. I’m not a biblical scholar or an expert in Hebrew, but I think the Robert Alter translations are incredibly fascinating. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/25 "2009-09-22T15:27:17Z")
Count me as another vote for the NRSV, preferrably with the Oxford annotations, if you don’t mind footnotes. This version probably has as comprehensive a survey of ancient texts as any, and I don’t think the language suffers all that much. I read from the NRSV Job in church a couple months ago, and a lifelong Bible reader came up to me afterwards expressing surprise at its poetry. It also carries the Catholic _Imprimatur_, so “it’s not just for Protestants anymore”. The full text can be found [here](http://bible.oremus.org/). ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/26 "2009-09-22T15:31:02Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > To my mind, this is one area where the Internet is very useful - if you want a particular passage, you can run it through multiple versions and see how the "flavour’ changes. > > I use this site: [1 samuel 8 KJV - And it came to pass, when Samuel was - Bible Gateway](http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20samuel%208&version=KJV) Interesting that this site does NOT feature the NRSV. There may be copyright issues, but I do understand that our conservative Christian brothers and sisters are not at all happy with that translation. Just something to note. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/27 "2009-09-22T16:01:53Z")
> [@stuthehistoryguy](#): > > Interesting that this site does NOT feature the NRSV. There may be copyright issues, but I do understand that our conservative Christian brothers and sisters are not at all happy with that translation. Just something to note. Interesting. I’ll definitely add your link in the post above to the list. Any other links to online versions not covered would be most appreciated (that to everyone). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/28 "2009-09-22T16:21:48Z")
If you want to actually _read_ the bible, and not study it, I recommend [The Books of the Bible](http://thebooksofthebible.info/main.php). It’s printed in paragraph form without verse numbers, and they changed the order of the books and combined some of them together. The translation that it uses is the Today’s New International Version, and it seems pretty good. I think it’s controversial among the more conservative evangelicals for using gender-neutral language. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/29 "2009-09-22T16:34:22Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Any other links to online versions not covered would be most appreciated (that to everyone). 🙂 [Well, you asked for it.](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/30 "2009-09-22T17:33:04Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > [Well, you asked for it.](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page) 😛 I’m in awe - of the amount of time someone spent doing that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/31 "2009-09-22T17:53:57Z")
While the Oxford Annotated is definitely more to my taste, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Good News Bible. > [@Polycarp](#): > > Good News Bible – very easy reading, accuracy is sometimes a bit sucky as a result. The ideal version for “I want a casual light read, so how about the Bible?” Although the language is often cringe-worthy, it does have the benefit of some hilarious cartoonish, line-drawing illustrations, which other versions lack. I found them most amusing while trying to stay awake during long, boring Bible study discussions with my dear fellow congregants, whose intellectual and reading level is just slightly below the Good News Bible, bless their hearts. Yeah, I’m a snob. But, lord almighty, was it hard to keep from screaming out of sheer boredom. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/32 "2009-09-22T22:18:42Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I’m in awe - of the amount of time someone spent doing that. 😃 Is it accurate? I speak pretty good lol. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/33 "2009-09-22T23:45:49Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > And just when is Fox going to get The Prophets and The Writings out? [He did I & II Samuel](http://www.amazon.com/Give-Us-King-Samuel-David/dp/0805241604/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253662915&sr=8-1) - which is awesome… and unfindable in my price range. If your library has it, I’d highly recommend it. David & Goliath sounds wonderful in his translation. I came into the thread to recommend New Jerusalem and the Fox translations. And to warn against picking up “The Message.” It’s horrible. Just avoid it. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/34 "2009-09-23T00:18:52Z")
> [@amarinth](#): > > And to warn against picking up “The Message.” It’s horrible. Just avoid it. It’s a loose, idiomatic paraphrase, not a strict translation. And as loose, idiomatic paraphrases go, it’s not bad. It’s one of the versions available at [Biblegateway.com](http://Biblegateway.com). ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/35 "2009-09-23T00:30:28Z")
It’s hard to go wrong with the NIV - very readable and it retains the message well. New Living Translation is even more readable and uses easier diction - it’s a “thought by thought” translation instead of word-for-word, but it’s still accurate and not a paraphrase. If you want a more scholarly read-through get the Oxford Annotated. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/36 "2009-09-23T01:37:52Z")
Thanks, all! FTR, I’m approaching it from a literary work perspective, combined with a ‘everyone ought to read it’ mentality. I didn’t want to spend hours stumbling over the language though, nor do I want to lose track of it and stop reading halfway through. So I decided to read the NET and the lolcat one simultaneously. That way, if I get stuck in the lol version, I can just go to the NET one and see what they are saying. It is interesting so far. I am a bit weirded out by Genesis 5–was the long list of names and ages really necessary? On the other hand, I really liked this part: > [@lolcat bible](#): > > 10 An he was liek wtf? ur dead bruda iz mewin frum undr teh carpt. (Ceiling Cat haz totally xlnt hearing An stuf.)11 K so nao cursd r u fum teh carpt, whichz opend its mouth to receiv ur bruda’s harbls frum ur hand;12 When yous plowen teh urf, it gonna b hard n stuffz; fugitiev n wanderr youz bees in da urf. An its gonna sux cuz therz no united farmwrkr yoonyun yet. > > 13 An cain sed unto Ceiling Cat, dis sux.14 Behold, u kick me from teh urf an killz me an i haz no iteh bitteh kitteh committeh, an’ i’m dumd wit evry1, even n00bs will pwnz meh. > > 15 An Ceiling Cat said unto him, therefore whosoevr pwnz cain, i will pwnz him OVER 9000x. An Ceiling Cat makz sign for cain, so iz nobodys findin him shud pwnz him.16 An cain rode away on hiz invisible bicycle away frum Ceiling Cat, An dwelt in da land ov nod, to da rite ov eden. Interesting how God is being angry, but simultaneously protective. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/37 "2009-09-23T02:09:56Z")
So, we get this big long lineage of Adam’s son Seth, but there is no mention of Cain’s line? What happened to the other Lamech, the one who was proud to be avenged 77x? ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/38 "2009-09-23T02:21:12Z")
The repetition of STFU in Genesis 6 is really provocative–even though God like Noah, there’s still a definite dominance/obedience thing going on there. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/39 "2009-09-23T02:44:28Z")
> [@stuthehistoryguy](#): > > Interesting that this site does NOT feature the NRSV. There may be copyright issues, but I do understand that our conservative Christian brothers and sisters are not at all happy with that translation. Just something to note. While the latter is true, the Bible Gateway people did try to be all-inclusive. I believe that the issue was one of the publishers not wanting their expensive copyrighted translation available online – another site which had the NRSV available abruptly pulled it and gave copyright issues as the reason. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770/40 "2009-09-23T06:00:49Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > It’s a loose, idiomatic paraphrase, not a strict translation. And as loose, idiomatic paraphrases go, it’s not bad. It’s one of the versions available at [Biblegateway.com](http://Biblegateway.com). My problem is not the loose idiomatic paraphrase part. It’s that his word choice is consistently awful. Psalm 8:3-4 > [@NIV](#): > > When I consider your heavens, > the work of your fingers, > the moon and the stars, > which you have set in place, > what is man that you are mindful of him, > the son of man that you care for him? > [@KJV](#): > > When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; > What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? The Good News Bible (another paraphrase) > [@Good News Bible](#): > > When I look at the sky, which you have made, at the moon and the stars, which you set in their places— > what are human beings, that you think of them; mere mortals, that you care for them? And The Message gives this… > [@](#): > > I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, > your handmade sky-jewelry, > Moon and stars mounted in their settings. > Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, > Why do you bother with us? > Why take a second look our way? It’s every bad poetry journal ever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recommend-me-the-bible/510770.md?page=3)