There is this thing called “generalization”, which I employed rather than an exhaustive listing of every ancient civilization I am aware of which would have no doubt bored everyone to tears. Not to mention all the ones I don’t know about.
I’m assuming most men were not into raping their wives and would accept a “not tonight dear” if she felt ill or whatever. If he did force himself upon her, though, it would have been quite a struggle to assert a right to say “no” through most of history.
As far as high status/powerful women participating in orgies - likely not, due to concerns about paternity. That’s not to say there were no exceptions, but they would be just that, exceptions.