# Recursive fix-it issues. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2018, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367 "2018-05-17T20:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/1 "2018-05-17T20:19:40Z")
1. I finally got a vice 2. I need to mount the vice. 3. I got a steel sheet to help keep the vice properly mounted to the workbench. 4. I need to cut the steel sheet. 5. I need a vice to hold the sheet still while I cut it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/2 "2018-05-17T20:21:59Z")
Call the vice squad. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/3 "2018-05-17T20:34:54Z")
Vise. Use clamps to hold the sheet. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/4 "2018-05-17T20:37:16Z")
Do you have some decent sized clamps around? They could be used to secure the metal to the workbench and then do the cutting just off the edge of the bench. Just an idea… ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/5 "2018-05-17T20:56:40Z")
Or go over to a buddy’s house and use his vise for this one job. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/6 "2018-05-17T21:04:51Z")
All good ad-vice. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2018, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/7 "2018-05-17T23:44:55Z")
If you give a vice a cookie It will want a steel sheet to be mounted on When you get the sheet, it will insist it be cut to the right size ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/8 "2018-05-18T00:54:52Z")
You need a welder. Throw some sparks at the whole mess and call it a day. When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. When you’re a welder everything looks like what ever you want it to look like. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/9 "2018-05-18T00:58:27Z")
Metal porn! ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/10 "2018-05-18T06:32:07Z")
There’s a hole in the bucket… ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/11 "2018-05-18T07:08:59Z")
[Emergency Can Opener](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rew_uitwvso) (comes in a can) ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/12 "2018-05-18T12:43:56Z")
I used to keep just one (analog) multimeter around. Powered by a nine volt battery. Which eventually starts to fade. To check a battery of course I use my multimeter. Unless it’s the battery that powers the multimeter and you have no spares. Now I have several meters. (And lots of spare batteries.) I’ve seen special knives sold to safely and easily open plastic clamshell packaging. That come in plastic clamshell packaging. ---
**Author:** ![plankter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@plankter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plankter)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2018, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/13 "2018-05-18T14:43:45Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > There’s a hole in the bucket… You beat me to it. 😃 For those who’ve not had the pleasure, [here’s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AthT8kw7CIo) a Carnegie Hall performance of the ditty being referenced. (Beware, there’s a 15-second ad before the video.) ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2018, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/14 "2018-05-19T02:58:52Z")
Flanders and Swann version: There’s a hole in the budget… [Flanders and Swann - There's a hole in my budget - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ecEMxrdULQ) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2018, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/15 "2018-05-19T04:38:23Z")
This is like when I owned a Harley. The first two hours of the 15 minute job was making the stupid special tool. God, that bike was awful. But God, did I make a ton of money off it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2018, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/16 "2018-05-19T05:58:36Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > This is like when I owned a Harley. The first two hours of the 15 minute job was making the stupid special tool… I’m reminded of this graphic showing [Jaguar special tools.](https://farm1.staticflickr.com/978/41303889845_5c9019e273_z.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2018, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/17 "2018-05-19T16:45:33Z")
Couldn’t you have bought two vises? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/18 "2018-05-19T21:00:16Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > 1. I finally got a vice… Me too. I chose gambling. mmm ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2018, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/recursive-fix-it-issues/814367/19 "2018-05-20T14:04:24Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > Couldn’t you have bought two vises? But vise vise versa is just the right way around. And _Vise, Vise, Baby_ is just a ripoff of a Bowie/Queen riff.