# Red Velvet Cake: Haute Cuisine dudgeon **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998 "2001-11-24T05:23:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/1 "2001-11-24T05:23:03Z")
So I went to make a red velvet cake, and soon found myself asking what it is besides a chocolate cake tricked up with red food coloring? And Google I did, with such results as: [http://southernfood.about.com/library/weekly/aa101800a.htm](http://southernfood.about.com/library/weekly/aa101800a.htm) 1/4 cup of red food coloring! That’s more pigment than the city of Chicago uses in its green manifestation to dye its river on St. Patrick’s Day! Just add red food coloring, and you get you a whole new exhaulted recipe name (complete with that Walorf Astoria urban legend, as well as for-all-I-know a sexual euphemism, in the bargain). They could at least come up with something incorporating pommagranites (six of which Slithy Tove will now haul out and buy in quest of his own culinary muse - I mean - how much trouble was it for me to adapt the recipie for pecan pie to create hazelnut pie, adding an airplane bottle of Fra Angelico?) And here I thought I’d use my last few precious non-pay-per-posts to rage against religious extremism… but…Red Food Coloring indeed! I now dread to bake a Lady Baltimore Cake, fearing to find the worst slanders upon her good name as a lady. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/2 "2001-11-24T05:33:40Z")
I still haven’t gotten over the shock of watching Julia Child make “sauce espagnole” one time, and realizing that all it was, was gravy. She was making brown gravy. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/3 "2001-11-24T05:53:46Z")
“Haute Cuisine?” Am I missing something here? I thought the whole point of Red Velvet Cake was that it was something really easy and basic – the kind of thing you’d bring to a school bake sale. And wasn’t the idea of the urban legend that people were paying exorbitant amounts of money for a recipe that they could easily have figured out on their own which was really nothing special? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/4 "2001-11-24T06:10:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpoilerVirgin \* > \*\*“Haute Cuisine?” > > Am I missing something here? \*\* “Haute” (F. high) = high “dudgeon”? Crap, If I gotta explain these maybe I should just stay home with the Hagen Daas on open mike night. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/5 "2001-11-24T06:26:22Z")
I don’t think it’s you that missing something, it’s me. Regardless of your punning title, I read your rant as meaning “I thought this Red Velvet Cake was something fancy, and instead it’s just a chocolate cake with red food coloring.” I expressed surprise that you expected Red Velvet Cake to be anything other than a really silly, basic recipe. So where did I go wrong? Were you ranting about something else? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/6 "2001-11-24T06:34:03Z")
I never even heard of Red Velvet Cake until last week when I bought some at Wal-Mart for 93 cents. Maybe it’s just because of the fact that it’s the box kind, but I thought it was pretty flavorless. I mean, I could taste the chocolate, but it was very bland, flavorless chocolate. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/7 "2001-11-24T06:47:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpoilerVirgin \* > \*\* Were you ranting about something else? \*\* Yes, I’m ranting about the perfidity of the human condition, as sadly prevalent in cookbook as it is in lawbook. Is any of our rants, at heart, ranting otherwise? Yours for the Revolution, Slithy Tove ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/8 "2001-11-24T07:29:36Z")
The deal with it being considered to be “Haute Cuisine” is [thus](http://www.snopes2.com/business/consumer/cookie.htm). There’s a somewhat more elaborate version of this in William Poundstone’s book _Bigger Secrets_. I believe that it says there was never such a dessert at that Waldorf-Astoria, but I’m not 100% sure, and I can’t find my copy of the book. By the way, I tried making it once, per the recipe in Poundstone’s book…let me tell you, red food coloring doesn’t come out of _anything_, _ever_. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/9 "2001-11-24T07:32:35Z")
Er, the link in the OP finally loaded…sorry for posting redundant information :o. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/10 "2001-11-24T07:37:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\*I mean - how much trouble was it for me to adapt the recipie for pecan pie to create hazelnut pie, adding an airplane bottle of Fra Angelico?) > \*\* Uh, can I come to your house next Thanksgiving??? Hazelnut Pie sounds absolutely scrumptious! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/11 "2001-11-24T08:01:54Z")
You can all come to my house for Thanksgiving. I’ll feed any godamn mouth that wants to eat, and confront any godamn convention that wants to be nonconfrontable. To wit: compulsory turkey on Thanksgiving? Not if the stomach has a heart of its own. Don’t be shy if you yourselves had, or wish you had had something else. We soaked a loin of beef in a jug of salted burgundy for a week and slow-roasted it overnight. The results were as tender as Jello, and unlike turkey the bones didn’t pose a threat to our dog’s trachea. And as for the OP, I’m mad at red velvet cake because, taken together, those three words are so beautiful and could have been bestowed upon something that is so much more. I vow to take those aforementioned pommagranites and reclaim the title “red velvet cake” in the name of Art. And in a similar vein, what about “Hamburger Helper?” Does it really look deeply into its soul to find a way of bettering hamburger’s destiny with all goodwill and without condescension? Or does it just toss a few processed carbohydrates at it, and then go about its thoughtless way? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/12 "2001-11-24T08:43:27Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\* We soaked a loin of beef in a jug of salted burgundy for a week and slow-roasted it overnight. The results were as tender as Jello, and unlike turkey the bones didn’t pose a threat to our dog’s trachea._\* I’ll be there. Oh, yes. I’ll be there. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/13 "2001-11-24T12:49:38Z")
Never mind come over for dinner. Hell, I want to move in! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/14 "2001-11-24T13:22:56Z")
Just seeing the words “red velvet cake” evokes the image of the groom’s cake in _Steel Magnolias_ - anybody got an armadillo-shaped pan I can borrow?? ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/15 "2001-11-24T16:21:01Z")
My God, can that much food coloring in such a small amount of food (a cake) be good for you? Sounds to me like you’d be shitting festive colored poop for a week! Zette Hmmmm…that gives me an idea! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/16 "2001-11-24T17:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slithy Tove \* > \*\*\ > > And in a similar vein, what about “Hamburger Helper?” Does it really look deeply into its soul to find a way of bettering hamburger’s destiny with all goodwill and without condescension? Or does it just toss a few processed carbohydrates at it, and then go about its thoughtless way? \*\* **Slithy** , could I please have this for a sig? And please, continue your search for a better candidate for the lovely label “red velvet cake”. I ain’t eatin’ **nuthin’** with a half-cup of red food colouring in it! (Maybe if there were beets in it - no, seriously!) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/17 "2001-11-24T19:43:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\* please, continue your search for a better candidate for the lovely label “red velvet cake”. I ain’t eatin’ **nuthin’** with a half-cup of red food colouring in it! (Maybe if there were beets in it - no, seriously!) \*\* Hmm… anybody ever had a post-prandial red bean ice cream served in Japanese restaurants (as my preference is for green tea ice cream, I’ve only sampled of my my dinnermate’s dish). And that same red bean is used as a pastry filling on occasion, too. Perhaps that is the solution to my red quest - that and a healthy dab of sloe gin (yes, I cook with booze a lot). ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/18 "2001-11-26T15:54:58Z")
Azuki bean. Yum. And if you get tired of sloe gin, Chambord would work nicely, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/19 "2001-11-26T16:37:31Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by featherlou \* \*\* > [@](#): > > (Maybe if there were beets in it - no, seriously!) \*\* I don’t see any food coloring in this \*\* featherlou \*\* but I suppose you could always add some. [http://cake.allrecipes.com/az/beetsurprisecake.asp](http://cake.allrecipes.com/az/beetsurprisecake.asp) Enjoy \ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998/20 "2001-11-27T17:50:35Z")
That cake recipe looks delicious, **Ayesha**. I’ll have to give it a try. I wonder if it comes out looking kinda red? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/red-velvet-cake-haute-cuisine-dudgeon/94998.md?page=2)