# Reddit Thread: What's the most intellectual joke you know? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 4, 2016, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776 "2016-08-04T21:23:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![grammarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@grammarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grammarian)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/41 "2016-08-06T10:25:41Z")
Knock, knock ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/42 "2016-08-06T13:36:32Z")
> [@grammarian](#): > > Knock, knock It’s ‘knock knock’. There’s no comma in there. Except in the 90’s. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/43 "2016-08-06T16:16:21Z")
René Descartes was drinking in a bar. Near closing time, the bartender asks, ‘Would you like one more for the road?’ Descartes says, ‘I think not,’ and vanishes! (I would have posted the Heisenberg/Schrödinger joke, but it’s already been posted in an abbreviated form.) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/44 "2016-08-06T16:28:06Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Binary code is how people with 1 finger count. There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/45 "2016-08-06T16:41:51Z")
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are each locked into a room with only a can of beans. If they manage to open the can, they have enough food to survive until they are let out; else, they starve. The engineer has his trusty screwdriver; after a couple of minutes of poking, he opens the can, and is found alive as the door is opened. The physicist makes a short calculation on one of the walls, then throws the can into a corner with enough force to open it. He, too, survives. The mathematician, on the other hand, is found dead when the room is opened. The can, untouched, sits in the exact center of the room. The walls are covered in lines upon lines of calculations, diagrams and other symbols. The first line starts: “Assume we have a can opener…” ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/46 "2016-08-06T16:42:56Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t. …and those who didn’t expect this to be a joke in ternary. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/47 "2016-08-06T16:52:00Z")
Q: Why does the Batcomputer always produce syntax errors? A: Because Batman has no parens. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/48 "2016-08-06T17:57:48Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” > > A time traveler walks into a bar. I love this. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/49 "2016-08-06T21:33:55Z")
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? e[sup]iπ[sup]2[/sup][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/50 "2016-08-06T21:43:37Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? > > e[sup]iπ[sup]2[/sup][/sup] That’s less than 52 micro-mathematicians. Are you sure you didn’t mean (e[sup]iπ[/sup])[sup][sup]2[/sup][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![RadicalPi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/radicalpi/32/9806_2.png) [@RadicalPi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadicalPi)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/51 "2016-08-06T21:46:17Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? > > e[sup]iπ[sup]2[/sup][/sup] I think you want (_e[sup]iπ[/sup]_)[sup]2[/sup]. What you have is approximately − 0.092 − 0.430_i_. ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/52 "2016-08-06T21:55:47Z")
> [@RadicalPi](#): > > I think you want (_e[sup]iπ[/sup]_)[sup]2[/sup]. What you have is approximately − 0.092 − 0.430_i_. And even that’s not going to suffice—it takes more than one rotation to screw a bulb in. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/53 "2016-08-06T23:37:41Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” > > A time traveler walks into a bar. > [@WordMan](#): > > I love this. Yeah, that one made me laugh out loud the first time I read it (I think it works better in print; it’s not as effective if you try to tell it to someone). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2016, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/54 "2016-08-06T23:55:44Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > That’s less than 52 micro-mathematicians. Are you sure you didn’t mean > (e[sup]iπ[/sup])[sup][sup]2[/sup][/sup] > [@RadicalPi](#): > > I think you want (_e[sup]iπ[/sup]_)[sup]2[/sup]. What you have is approximately − 0.092 − 0.430_i_. Wow, tough room. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/55 "2016-08-07T00:03:47Z")
> [@memnon](#): > > sixteen sodium atoms and the caped crusader walk into a bar. And the bartender _saaaays…_ na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, batman! ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/56 "2016-08-07T01:13:58Z")
[Here’s an oldie, but I’ve not seen it in the thread yet.] A pilot flew out of the Reid-Hillview Airport near Silicon Valley, wanting to give his friend a view from the sky in a 2-seat Cessna. Unfortunately he got completely disoriented and no longer knew where the airport was. He had a good mental map of the area, but didn’t even know his present location. Seeing a man on a hill, he flew low, opened the window and yelled “Where are we?” The man on the ground didn’t respond till he was almost out of earshot, then yelled back “You’re on an airplane!” The pilot nodded his head, banked sharply to the left and within a few minutes was lined up perfectly for Runway 31L. The passenger was astounded: “He gave you a completely useless answer!” “Precisely,” the pilot replied. “He thought about the easy question for a long time, came up with an answer which, while perfectly correct, was absolutely useless. I knew right away he was working at the IBM Research Lab so I got my bearings.” ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/57 "2016-08-07T01:45:08Z")
> [@kk\_fusion](#): > > [Jokes with Einstein](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r651684kxKg) Nice! ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/58 "2016-08-07T11:58:13Z")
Nm ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/59 "2016-08-07T13:10:36Z")
Once at work I was filling in a form by hand and casually asked, “Does anyone know today’s date?” One of the other Oracle nerds without even looking up replied, “Sysdate.” Still makes me laugh years later. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2016, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776/60 "2016-08-07T14:27:49Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t. Or, those who can count to 10 on their fingers, and those who can count to 1023. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-thread-whats-the-most-intellectual-joke-you-know/761776.md?page=4)