# Reddit users can really bring the funny **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286 "2021-12-18T16:07:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/1 "2021-12-18T16:07:35Z")
I never come away from Reddit without at least a chuckle, often a literal LOL. In a recent sub about the female officer who mistook her glock for her taser - and ended up killing the suspect - the discussion was how, in her court appearance she was made up and dressed to look grandmotherly: -and that is precisely what the defense wants the jury to think — omg this granny is so fragile she wouldn’t hurt a fly –Look at the clothes they have her wearing and everything. Slimy fuckers —whoa, holy shit, I see it now, they totally dressed her up like sweet ol grandma ----Mrs. Doubtfire -----Officer Doubtfire ------Officer Didfire ---
**Author:** ![TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thegunismightierthanthepen/32/2981_2.png) [@TheGunIsMightierThanThePen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheGunIsMightierThanThePen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/2 "2021-12-18T18:28:45Z")
I’ve said before that Reddit is a mountain made of shit, but if you can hold your nose for long enough and dig deep enough, there are some real gems to be found. Here are a couple of my favorites: **On the topic of Black Wednesday, the first Wednesday of every August when the new cohort of junior doctors begin working in the NHS after graduating medical school, where patients are about 6% more likely to die than on other days** [![](https://i.imgur.com/6xYnnUd.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/6xYnnUd.png) **On the topic of Germans having a word, or being able to make up a word, for practically any concept you can think of** [![](https://i.imgur.com/VI99bsC.png) ](https://i.imgur.com/VI99bsC.png) ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/3 "2021-12-18T19:01:40Z")
After a particularly, umm successful bathroom visit, I mentioned I needed a [poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/). Sadly no other Redditors in the house, so it fell on puzzled ears. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/4 "2021-12-18T20:27:21Z")
I would have been right there with you had I seen your post. mmm ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/5 "2021-12-18T20:37:37Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > After a particularly, umm successful bathroom visit, I mentioned I needed a [poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/). Sadly no other Redditors in the house, so it fell on puzzled ears. - Those things don’t cut worth a crap. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2021, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/6 "2021-12-18T23:10:23Z")
Over on r/ostomy we had a few threads on naming stomas - my favorites are Vladimir Poopin and Poopoo Bagins [possessor of the brown ring of the Middle Girth] Mine is named P’tit Joey, after [Joseph Pujol](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane). Side effect of a month on antibiotics, all I seemed to do was fart through my stoma for a month =) At some points it was as if we were holding a conversation =) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2021, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/7 "2021-12-19T02:16:46Z")
From a thread about the attractiveness of celebrities: _Post Malone looks like the 1% of germs that Lysol won’t kill._ * * * From a thread about which movies should have a sex scene: _-Pride and Predjudice_ _–It’d be a polite sex scene with a big vocabulary._ _—“I’m arriving”_ ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2021, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/8 "2021-12-20T01:11:11Z")
r/askreddit: What movie SHOULD have had a sex scene? -Toy story, I wanted to see Andy’s mom play with her own toys –Also named Woody and Buzz, funnily enough. —_You’ve got a friend in me…_ ----_I’ve got a friend in me_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2021, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/9 "2021-12-25T02:49:12Z")
_In a thread asking how to not make it awkward when a worker is in your home:_ Literally what I did while the plumber fixed my garbage disposal the other day. Cleared out anything that might have been in his way, told him I’d be in the other room if he needed anything, sat and watched YouTube until he was done. -Did you watch how-to guides on fixing garbage disposals with the volume all the way up? –While clearing your throat aggressively and occasionally saying out loud, oh that’s interesting. So that’s how THEY do it. —“Top ten things plumbers do wrong when they fix your sink, number 5 will scare you”. On Mac volume of course ----I think plumbers use Windows. -----Mostly they come in the door. ------Not in the videos I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2021, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/10 "2021-12-25T10:15:32Z")
A recent instant classic: [I can’t believe she fucking buttered Jorts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rfwgmc/aita_for_perpetuating_ethnic_stereotypes_about/) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2021, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/11 "2021-12-31T15:14:04Z")
What are signs a guy hasn’t matured? -My ex threw a chair at me when I told him I was upset that he forgot my birthday –Was it wrapped? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2022, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/12 "2022-01-01T16:10:32Z")
My daughter told me Redditors are remembering Betty White, and someone said they were reminded of the Golden Girls episode in which Rose sings “99 Bottles of Beer On the Wall”, but quits when she gets down to two. 😂 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2022, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/13 "2022-01-02T11:46:06Z")
A video is displayed of a waiter dispensing wine into diners’ glasses using a back-mounted rig attached to a hose. The waiter holds his finger over the hose to control the flow of wine. -Is he putting his finger over it like a garden hose? –Did he wash his hands first? —If he scratched his butthole before this, it might not be dangerous but it could still affect the flavor. ----For the better? -----Shart-onnay, sir? Perhaps brown shit-fandel? ------This wine tastes like ass -------I’m detecting some butthole notes. --------Ah yes, he had eggs for breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2022, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/14 "2022-01-03T03:02:43Z")
> [@Yookeroo](#): > > What movie SHOULD have had a sex scene? > > -Toy story, I wanted to see Andy’s mom play with her own toys > > –Also named Woody and Buzz, funnily enough. > > — _You’ve got a friend in me…_ > > ---- _I’ve got a friend in me_ BTW, thanks to the sdmb subreddit, I discovered [this SDMB thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/toy-story-no-gun-for-woody/293325) which has brought immeasurable joy to me and immeasurable annoyance to my friends as I try to explain the theory to them. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2022, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/15 "2022-01-03T04:13:55Z")
You are welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/16 "2022-01-06T15:32:28Z")
Reddit users discussing Stephen King. Someone says he writes like an old man (which he is). Someone provides this example of what it would be like if Mr. King were a bit more current: > The man in black yeeted across the desert, and the gunslinger simped. > > The desert hit different, huge, standing to the sky for what looked like eternity in all directions. It was sus and cringe and low-key in need of a glow up. I’ve been laughing about that for days. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/17 "2022-01-06T17:17:46Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’ve been laughing about that for days. This just proves I’m getting old. I have no idea what that means or why it is funny. I mean, I know it is funny because it is using new hip jargon/slang, but without knowing what the terms mean it loses something. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/18 "2022-01-06T18:34:37Z")
Maybe it’s just funny to me because I’m familiar with the original. I love the way that old man writes. > The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed. > > The desert was the apotheosis of all deserts, huge, standing to the sky for what looked like eternity in all directions. It was white and blinding and waterless and without feature save for the faint, cloudy haze of the mountains which sketched themselves on the horizon and the devil-grass which brought sweet dreams, nightmares, death. As for the slang, I think it’s still evolving but you can dig what they’re laying down, daddy-o. 🕶 ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/19 "2022-01-06T18:47:23Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > As for the slang, I think it’s still evolving but you can dig what they’re laying down, daddy-o. Get off my lawn! [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DhWRS43VQAAeHuT.jpg) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DhWRS43VQAAeHuT.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286/20 "2022-01-07T00:56:21Z")
This is a clever reply to a mildly interesting post & photo: [My parrot laid an egg, it’s unfertilized so I ate it](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/rxnds1/my_parrot_laid_an_egg_its_unfertilized_so_i_ate_it/) > You cooked the egg? How did you pre parrot? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reddit-users-can-really-bring-the-funny/956286.md?page=2)