# Redesign the Human Body **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194 "2016-07-29T15:10:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/1 "2016-07-29T15:10:44Z")
So, you’ve been hired as Designer in Chief! What physiological and psychological elements of the body would you overhaul? Me: white skin and light-colored eyes are out. Pasty-skinned folk (like me) were not designed to live in a solar system. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/2 "2016-07-29T15:17:39Z")
Testicles stored _inside_ the body. Giant weak spot right between the legs wasn’t well thought out. Yeah, I know, it helps keep the sperm from getting too warm. So… sperm that can survive higher temps would be a nice improvement as well. ETA: also: airway and esophagus separated by a bit more space would be a nice-to-have. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/3 "2016-07-29T15:25:06Z")
1. Sewage disposal should not be routed through a major recreation area. 2. Air and nutrient intake should not share a pipeline. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/4 "2016-07-29T15:26:14Z")
Playground and waste disposal facilities should not be located on the same property. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/5 "2016-07-29T15:40:28Z")
Shoulder rotator cuff would get a major structural upgrade. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/6 "2016-07-29T15:50:15Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > Me: white skin and light-colored eyes are out. Pasty-skinned folk (like me) were not designed to live in a solar system. What does that even mean? Are you going to live in the dimly lit Kuiper Belt? You’re probably going to end up pale and pasty. Going to just freely orbit the sun? You aren’t going to have skin, unless it’s somehow made out of lead or something. i’d like to regularly grow more teeth so I don’t have to worry about cavities or, be immune to tooth decay. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/7 "2016-07-29T15:57:57Z")
The brachial plexus is a horrible kludge that needs re-design. The cervical and lumbar ends of the spine need some engineering attention and for important as the brain is, maybe it shouldn’t be dangling out in the open at the end of a stalk. Might not be a bad idea to move it inside the torso? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/8 "2016-07-29T15:59:30Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > Me: white skin and light-colored eyes are out. Pasty-skinned folk (like me) were not designed to live in a solar system. You do know that your ancestors evolved pasty skin specifically to be able to live in a solar system don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/9 "2016-07-29T16:23:10Z")
[Meet Graham, a ‘human’ designed to survive a car crash](http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/25/health/graham-human-body-sculpture-car-accident/) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/10 "2016-07-29T16:27:49Z")
More durable knee joints. Rectum less susceptible to hemorrhoids. Digestive system less dependent on microbes in the gut. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/11 "2016-07-29T16:30:42Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > What does that even mean? > > Are you going to live in the dimly lit Kuiper Belt? You’re probably going to end up pale and pasty. > > Going to just freely orbit the sun? You aren’t going to have skin, unless it’s somehow made out of lead or something. > > i’d like to regularly grow more teeth so I don’t have to worry about cavities or, be immune to tooth decay. My meaning is that white skin (on this planet) can be a liability; while it was (probably) evolved to augment Vitamin D synthesis in lower-UV ray climes, this advantage is offset by high rates of sunburn, skin cancer, and premature wrinkling. YMMV. So, no plans to buy a condo in the Kuiper Belt. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/12 "2016-07-29T16:55:06Z")
Teeth need a MAJOR overhaul. They either need to be titanium-strong or we need to regrow them like sharks do. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/13 "2016-07-29T17:08:57Z")
Hair has to grow straight. If you want hair that’s not straight then put some gunk on it. Seconded on the teeth, rotator cuffs, and knees. Retractable testicles. I mean totally out of harms way. Get rid of sinuses. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/14 "2016-07-29T17:15:53Z")
The entire pregnancy apparatus needs redesigning. Center the uterus or give it more significant support. Yes, I know the current arrangement is a tradeoff for the bipedalism, but a truly intelligent designer could have come up with something better. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/15 "2016-07-29T17:16:35Z")
The ability to shift our resources to alter whatever parts of the body we desire. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/16 "2016-07-29T17:18:57Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > [Meet Graham, a ‘human’ designed to survive a car crash](http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/25/health/graham-human-body-sculpture-car-accident/) :eek: I think I’d rather not survive. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/17 "2016-07-29T17:22:22Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > :eek: I think I’d rather not survive. Body shaming! Morphologophobia! ---
**Author:** ![Amara\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7993a0/32.png) [@Amara\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amara_1)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/18 "2016-07-29T17:26:44Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > The entire pregnancy apparatus needs redesigning. Center the uterus or give it more significant support. Yes, I know the current arrangement is a tradeoff for the bipedalism, but a truly intelligent designer could have come up with something better. This. So much this. And sinuses need to be removed. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/19 "2016-07-29T17:31:35Z")
Redesign the hip and spine dynamic. Walking upright is great and all but damn do we pay for it! ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/20 "2016-07-29T17:37:55Z")
A big “Oh, Yeah!” on the sinus redesign. Again it’s that bipedalism thing. If our heads weren’t perched atop the spine as they are, the sinus output would point down and drain properly. Who puts a drain at the top of a container? What the heck are the sinuses for anyway? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194.md?page=2)