# Redesign the Human Body **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2016, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194 "2016-07-29T15:10:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/41 "2016-07-30T23:42:49Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > The brachial plexus is a horrible kludge that needs re-design. Not from a martial arts point of view. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/42 "2016-07-31T01:25:16Z")
More arms. I’d love to have three per side. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/43 "2016-07-31T02:07:09Z")
The human mouth and anus need to switch positions. Eating nonchalantly while sitting on food has innumerable sociological advantages. Of course we’d have to learn to talk out of our asses to complete the scenario. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/44 "2016-07-31T02:24:53Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > \ Of course we’d have to learn to talk out of our asses to complete the scenario. Some would argue many have mastered \*that \*trait already. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/45 "2016-07-31T05:51:37Z")
Reroute the urethra so that it does not travel through the prostate. Completely separate the digestive tract from the respiratory tract so that we could talk and still do oral things at the same time (eat as an example) Eliminate all body hair except brows, eyelashes and head hair. Reroute the reproductive system so that it doesn’t center between the legs. Maybe up about half way to the navel. This would allow easier birthing as offspring wouldn’t exit through the floor of the bony pelvis and sexual activity would be less prone to infection. And dancing close could be really fun! Extend the spectral sensitivity of the eyes so that we could see how hot objects were, and get more information in the ultraviolet end of the spectrum like some insects, birds and other mammals do. Make our eyes cataract proof. Give us third eyelids that protect the eye and give the correct refraction in water so we could see underwater. Make our teeth with additional replacement sets that give us new teeth every decade or so. Eliminate acne. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/46 "2016-07-31T05:59:10Z")
There are so many great ideas in this thread that I will have a hard time going to sleep. I am already mixing & matching some of them. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/47 "2016-07-31T11:03:21Z")
Multiple orgasms for men. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/48 "2016-07-31T11:39:20Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > Teeth need a MAJOR overhaul. They either need to be titanium-strong or we need to regrow them like sharks do. This! Teeth are a huge nuisance to maintain. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/49 "2016-07-31T11:47:52Z")
I asked my wife about it and she said inflatable boobs. Double D’s when you want 'em and A’s when you don’t. The serious answer would be better brain circuitry so that mental disorders wouldn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/50 "2016-07-31T11:56:58Z")
Let us lay eggs. Small eggs, that take months to incubate outside of the body. Also, as people mentioned before, constantly growing teeth and better joints. (Esp. fingers/wrists. Damn ye, carpal tunnel.) ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/51 "2016-07-31T14:02:54Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I asked my wife about it and she said inflatable boobs. Double D’s when you want 'em and A’s when you don’t. > > The serious answer would be better brain circuitry so that mental disorders wouldn’t happen. Retractable sexual characteristics would be pretty useful in general. Be taken seriously in situations where gender should be irrelevant, stop guys hitting on you at inappropriate times, but a night out on the town? Boobs out, arse out, waist in! Creepy guy staring at you? In they go! Hot guy glances over? Out they come! Control of ovulation would also be pretty damn helpful. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/52 "2016-07-31T14:09:35Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Retractable sexual characteristics would be pretty useful in general. Be taken seriously in situations where gender should be irrelevant, stop guys hitting on you at inappropriate times, but a night out on the town? Boobs out, arse out, waist in! > > Creepy guy staring at you? In they go! Hot guy glances over? Out they come! > > Control of ovulation would also be pretty damn helpful. Yeah, complete control over ovulation would be good, as well as the ability to consciously terminate a pregnancy in its early stages. Adjustable boobs is great too. Get pulled over by the cops? Whump, double D. Need to run a marathon? Whump, A. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/53 "2016-07-31T15:22:49Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Also, get rid of facial hair. I’ve been developing some noticeable pogonophobia lately. In fact, lose most body hair altogether. You can keep the hair on your head, but I don’t much care for any of the rest. I would like the ability to grow a thick, luxurious 'stache and beard. The 18-foot black hair growing from my middle-age lady chin doesn’t count. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/54 "2016-07-31T15:25:58Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I asked my wife about it and she said inflatable boobs. Double D’s when you want 'em and A’s when you don’t. > > The serious answer would be better brain circuitry so that mental disorders wouldn’t happen. And the option to not have boobs at all! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/55 "2016-07-31T15:34:12Z")
Better knee and spine design to eliminate common problems. Women have the ability to consciously control their reproductive system, and only get pregnant when they choose. Make women as large and strong, on average, as men. Alternately, get rid of dual gender biology and make everyone hermaphroditic – everyone can get pregnant (with the ability to control it), and everyone can impregnate someone else. ---
**Author:** ![TYphoonSignal8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@TYphoonSignal8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TYphoonSignal8)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/56 "2016-08-01T03:45:26Z")
Armour plating on top of skull, temples and back of neck extending down to mid-shoulders. Four pairs of eyes like spiders, with indirect eyes lined with tapatum also like a spider’s. Electroreception, like a shark, so as to better know when your kids are texting as opposed to doing homework. Cartalaginous skeleton. Big bushy squirrel tail to maintain balance while on bikes and make it a nice colour to better attract the ladies. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/57 "2016-08-01T04:10:23Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > So, you’ve been hired as Designer in Chief! What physiological and psychological elements of the body would you overhaul? > > Me: white skin and light-colored eyes are out. Pasty-skinned folk (like me) were not designed to live in a solar system. I’m surprised there isn’t more enthusiasm for ‘boobs on the back’. ---
**Author:** ![TYphoonSignal8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@TYphoonSignal8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TYphoonSignal8)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/58 "2016-08-01T10:10:39Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > I’m surprised there isn’t more enthusiasm for ‘boobs on the back’. Yes, and I’ll take a throat vagina / throat penis with them. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2016, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/59 "2016-08-01T16:30:39Z")
Esophagus nowhere close to the trachea. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Mama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5ac83/32.png) [@Atomic\_Mama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Mama)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2016, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194/60 "2016-08-02T20:59:38Z")
Perfect vision in all light (or dark) conditions; ability to morph into microscopic and telescopic vision at will. And why is this 🆒 wearing sunglasses, anyway? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redesign-the-human-body/761194.md?page=4)