# Redneck Haiku **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 28, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664 "2001-04-28T19:15:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/1 "2001-04-28T19:15:18Z")
NASCAR, wrasslin, COPS, Dukes of Hazzard, Springer Show: Television bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/2 "2001-04-28T19:34:42Z")
Big ol’ pickup truck Many windshield cracks Gun rack in the back Rag for a gas cap Yosemite Sam mud flaps Rebel flag stickers A big Number 3 Calvin peeing on Chevy A tail light is out It sounds like a tank Smoke belching from the exhaust Billowing black plumes Rust holes everywhere The body is primer red Big ol’ pickup truck ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/3 "2001-04-28T19:56:46Z")
My Chevy on blocks. Dang! My wife’s hair is big. Leaking septic tank. I love my country. I love my heavy metal. Cosmopilitan. Mullet. I love thee. Mullet. It’s what makes me, me. Mullet. I. Mullet. Wrasslin’. XFL. Beer in right hand. Wife in left. Redneck Saturday. I am a carni. I run the ‘Tilt-o-Whirl’ ride. Life of excitement. Well, my wife left me. I still have my pick-up truck. Oh yes, life is good. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/4 "2001-04-28T21:50:30Z")
courtesy of [http://www.austinsilentmarket.com/nuggets/redneck.html](http://www.austinsilentmarket.com/nuggets/redneck.html) Damn, in that tube-top You make me almost fergit That you’re my cousin and Distant siren screams Dumb-ass Verne’s been grilling with Gasoline again ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/5 "2001-04-28T22:45:55Z")
Hey! some time last year We done did a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=19856) of these. (Look for ones by me.) Here’s a new one: My front porch collapsed. The really tragic part is, Six hound dogs wuz kilt. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/6 "2001-04-29T00:25:25Z")
Yeeha skinheads help Snapping turtle cross tha road Klan tattoos flexin’. Best part is, it’s true! They helped me help the 50 lb critter about an hour ago. Hee! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/7 "2001-04-29T06:19:00Z")
Duckbill cap with flag shadowed cheek and dip of chew Jar full of moonshine ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/8 "2001-04-29T07:37:04Z")
Dogs on the front porch Trucks rusting on blocks in back The sound of scratching. Shy kissin’ cousins Shooting turkeys in the rain A wedding comes soon. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/9 "2001-04-29T14:41:14Z")
Bud T-shirt, Cat hat The tractor pull’s tommorrow! They’re my Sunday best Standin’ by the keg Watching the hotties pass by Ah, kin reunions! I knew I loved you When you first lifted your shirt At that NASCAR race ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/10 "2001-04-29T14:50:52Z")
Ah jes’ got yer name Tattooed on mah right butt-cheek Now we is engaged. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/11 "2001-04-29T17:28:28Z")
_White Power_ tattoo Dog and wallet both on chains I’m Bubba. Let’s fight. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/12 "2001-04-29T17:46:27Z")
Weddin’ plans were done, then you said “hey y’all, watch this!” Funeral instead. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/13 "2001-04-29T18:58:17Z")
Varmint skins for sale Jerky stand on the roadside An entrepreneur ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/14 "2001-04-29T19:54:19Z")
Six-pack of Miller, Can of Vienna sausage: Seven-course dinner. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/15 "2001-04-29T19:59:49Z")
12-pack of Miller, _Best of Wrestling_ video: Romantic evening. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/16 "2001-04-29T20:02:42Z")
One case of Miller, Argument over NASCAR: I shoot my best friend. ---
**Author:** ![jane\_says](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jane\_says](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jane_says)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/17 "2001-04-29T20:58:25Z")
I LIKE Miller. Dammit. Champagne of beers Says so right on the label Ain’t gonna share it. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/18 "2001-04-29T21:18:05Z")
No offence, **jane\_says**. Old Milwaukee hard to fit. What you think of Pabst? ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/19 "2001-04-29T21:23:39Z")
Moon Pies, Royal Crown, Second cousin, fire tower: Romantic first date. NASCAR, pot, Miller, 5 friends, underage driver: One less pickup truck. Sun on belt buckle Reflects into atmosphere, Flagging down airplanes. ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664/20 "2001-04-29T21:35:12Z")
If it’s a boy: Dale. A girl (God forbid): Debbie. Wedding at Wal-Mart. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/redneck-haiku/63664.md?page=2)