# Regarding bad songs and techno backbeats **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 17, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597 "2004-05-17T14:02:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/1 "2004-05-17T14:02:21Z")
Did you know that taking a really shitty song and putting a techno beat on it makes it infinitely better? :rolleyes: That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/2 "2004-05-17T14:08:21Z")
Or when the “singers” string all their words together into many incomprehensible sentences? I still have no idea what that Beyoncé Knowles songs are about half the time. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/3 "2004-05-17T14:18:39Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Did you know that taking a really shitty song and putting a techno beat on it makes it infinitely better? :rolleyes: > > That is all. Don’t _ever_, **Ever** , _ **EVER** _ watch the Cablevision preview channel. You’ve never known pain until you’ve listen to a techno remix of Britney’s “Toxic”. The earmuffs, they do nothing! ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/4 "2004-05-17T18:46:36Z")
Hehe, I read this thread title and _just knew_ **World Eater** was going to post. I dislike it when 80’s songs I really LOVE are transformed into dance mixes. Sometimes they are transmogrified beyond belief! (where’s the “I’m retching” smiley?) ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/5 "2004-05-17T18:57:22Z")
Yesterday, I was sitting peacefully in my room when my downstairs neighbor starting playing something I had never heard before: \*\*A down-home fiddle rendition of _Pachelbel’s (sp?) Canon in D_ with a techo beat mixed in. \*\*:eek: I was so horrified that I called my boyfriend as a witness that I wasn’t just making it up. mischievous ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/6 "2004-05-17T19:09:52Z")
[The System Is Down.](http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail45.html) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/7 "2004-05-17T19:30:09Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > I dislike it when 80’s songs I really LOVE are transformed into dance mixes. Sometimes they are transmogrified beyond belief! (where’s the “I’m retching” smiley?) Disc Six A dance remix, So I can catch the latest trend And it’ll make you scratch your head And wonder where my taste went. -Barenaked Ladies, _Box Set_ I have nothing else to add…except that Blondie totally jacked up “The Tide Is High” in this way…but Blondie original releases usually \*are \*really shitty songs with a techno back beat. I love 'em nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/8 "2004-05-17T19:51:40Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Hehe, I read this thread title and _just knew_ **World Eater** was going to post. 😛 > [@](#): > > I dislike it when 80’s songs I really LOVE are transformed into dance mixes. Sometimes they are transmogrified beyond belief! (where’s the “I’m retching” smiley?) Especially when they run the vocals through that Cher “robot” vocoder. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/9 "2004-05-17T20:24:08Z")
To know pain, is to have heard the **Revisited** CD “by” Nanci Griffith. It starts off with the original songs only to go into _reeeeeeeallllly_ bad dance versions of songs like “Late Night Grande Hotel”, “St Teresa”, and “Gulf Coast Highway”. From what I heard, it was never given an official release so I found a copy on eBay for $40.00. Curiousity is a real bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/10 "2004-05-17T20:26:59Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > …it was never given an official release so I found a copy on eBay for $40.00. Curiousity is a real bitch. Ouch! Obviously there was a reason why they never gave it an official release. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/11 "2004-05-18T18:48:24Z")
Like that hateful Gap commercial that puts a techno beat with Seals and Croft’s “Summer Breeze” that makes me punch large, comical holes in my tv remote whenever it comes on. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/12 "2004-05-18T19:01:17Z")
God yes, I hate techno remixes. Not least because you often can’t tell whether the CD is skipping. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/13 "2004-05-18T19:12:02Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Don’t _ever_, **Ever** , _ **EVER** _ watch the Cablevision preview channel. > > You’ve never known pain until you’ve listen to a techno remix of Britney’s “Toxic”. > > The earmuffs, they do nothing! Obviously you have never heard the techno remix of Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/14 "2004-05-18T23:26:41Z")
“A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis Presley. Without the JXL beat, it is just a cornball clunker from a guy who, to his credit, usually picked great songs to sing to. With the beat, it is the perfect “Shut up and fuck me” song. ---
**Author:** ![pilzner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pilzner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilzner)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/15 "2004-05-19T00:04:18Z")
I once had a friend who’s favorite song was a techno-remix of the _Broken Wings_ song by ( I think? ) Mister Mister. Ya know how on gospel music compilation commercials it always has pictures of people singing the songs, looking to be on the verge of tears by the _strength of the music_ ? Thats the face he got everytime he listened to this song. Nice person. Horrible music tastes. What I especially hate in these forms of music is listening to how other techno-y cliches are added into the original songs - like the quiet ambient-floaty moments, followed by a snare drum buildup, cymbal clashes and then the techno beat again. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/16 "2004-05-19T01:41:59Z")
I hate when they remix an 80s song, add those crappy beats, Cher-boterize it, etc. and the kids today all love it; the same kids who think “who likes that 80s crap” :rolleyes: (ol’ rolleyes doesn’t do it justice) ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/17 "2004-05-19T11:12:54Z")
You people don’t know pain until you see the adverts for “Irish Clubland”. Traditional Irish songs, speeded up, techno beat, and vocodered falsetto vocals. but not only do they do Irish songs on this, they also churn out other songs like “Living next door to Alice” “Can’t take my eyes off you” and “7 drunken nights”. It is the most horrible advert ever, and all the songs are done by the same people responsible for the travesty that was “Dance to Tipperary”. I hate them all. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/18 "2004-05-19T13:03:02Z")
Where did you come from… Where did you go… Where did you come from… Cotton-Eyed Joe 'nough said. ---
**Author:** ![Lambo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lambo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lambo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/19 "2004-05-19T14:01:41Z")
This doesn’t involve techno, and the song in question is usually quite good, when performed correctly (i.e., the way I think it should be performed), but… Last Friday, I was listening to [“The Morning Show”](http://music.minnesota.publicradio.org/programs/morningshow/) on Minnesota Public Radio (thank you, internet!). Now, usually, I love the mix of music they put out, very well done (the show introduced me to the Colorblind James Experience, for example). But they had a guest on Friday. Jearlyn Steele(spelling of first name may be wrong), who was performing on Prairie Home Companion that weekend. She sang the worst rendition of " Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" I have ever heard. Lacking any energy, feeling, or joy, it was the sound of someone really in love with their own voice, taking a wonderful piece of music and turning into a damned lounge act. Now, I am not familiar with Ms. Steele, and I didn’t hear PHC that weekend, but I am now permanently soured on her. Why, why do vocalists do this? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597/20 "2004-05-19T14:48:36Z")
> [@Lambo](#): > > Why, why do vocalists do this? I wouldn’t say it’s limited to vocalists. There are a lot of “musicians” who aren’t aware of how bad they sound. It’s practically an epidemic. I agree **Msmith** , that could be worse then Toxic. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regarding-bad-songs-and-techno-backbeats/245597.md?page=2)