# Regional humor. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069 "2011-10-18T21:06:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pyromyte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d26b3c/32.png) [@pyromyte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pyromyte)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/21 "2011-10-19T12:39:15Z")
Q: How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-ee-ville, Lewis-ville, Loo-a-vull? A: Frankfort ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/22 "2011-10-19T12:50:29Z")
Two rednecks went to a Georgia Bulldogs football game. [Uga](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uga_%28mascot%29) waddled out on the field, sat down, and proceeded to lick his balls. One of them good ol’ boys exclaimed, “Sheeyit! Wish I could do that!” His friend turned to him with a shocked look, “That dawg’d bite yew!” (I wish I could reproduce my uncle’s Jawja accent, it slays me to hear him tell this joke. Especially “biiiiite yewwwww!” which has the same intonation as a shocked little kid pointing and saying “OOOoooo…”) ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/23 "2011-10-19T15:27:43Z")
What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? Ones for five toes, the others for four toes. A Wiganer takes his cat into the vets. He says to the vet: ‘can you have a look at me cat, it’s ill?’ The vet asks ‘is it a tom?’. The Wiganer says: ‘No I brought it with me.’ A Wiganer decides he want to have a golden statue of his dog made so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much it would be. The jeweller asks: ‘Do you want it eighteen carat?’ The Wiganer replies, no I’ll just have it chewing a bone. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/24 "2011-10-19T15:37:31Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > If you’re from waaay out in the sticks you should be able to read this: > > Person A: “M R Snakes” > Person B: “M R Not” > A: “S A R. C M B D I’s?” > B: “L I B! M R Snakes!” > > Person A: “M R Ducks” > Person B: “M R Not” > A: “S A R. C M E D B D Wangs?” > B: “L I B! M R Ducks!” A B C D Bees? L M N O Bees. O S A R Bees. O S I C D Bees! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/25 "2011-10-19T16:16:25Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > My cousin is from Southern Indiana and they all tell “Kentuckian” jokes, which to be honest are recycled Polish jokes for the most part. > > One that cracked me up was something along the lines of\*\* “Why did it take the Kentuckian so long to paint the stripes on the road? He kept getting farther and farther away from the can.”\*\* This is also told as “Shlemiel the Painter”. See [Back to Basics](http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000319.html) by Joel Spolsky, discussing a common but baaaaaaadddd way to deal with character data in the C programming language, about 4 to 5 screensful from the top of the page: > [@](#): > > ``` > Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. "That's pretty good!" says his boss, "you're a fast worker!" and pays him a kopeck. > > The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. "Well, that's not nearly as good as yesterday, but you're still a fast worker. 150 yards is respectable," and pays him a kopeck. > > The next day Shlemiel paints 30 yards of the road. "Only 30!" shouts his boss. "That's unacceptable! On the first day you did ten times that much work! What's going on?" > > "I can't help it," says Shlemiel. "Every day I get farther and farther away from the paint can!" > > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/26 "2011-10-19T16:28:09Z")
OP ask for jokes that works for people “in the know”. So could this thread also be for jokes that only people with specific technical knowledge (like mathematicians) would understand? Here’s one that I made up on the spot in Calculus one day, while studying analytic geometry: – What do you call the rendition of Euclid into English? Translation of Axioms Another chapter, we were finding centroids of a lamina. (Basically, that means the center of gravity of an irregularly shaped region.) Next to the related question on the chapter exam, I wrote: – “Where does a thug go when he breaks out of jail?” On the lamina! Yes, these aren’t “regional” involving local accents or dialects, but they entail that you have to be “in the know” to get them. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/27 "2011-10-19T16:31:06Z")
From NYC and surrounding area: Jeet jet? No jew? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/28 "2011-10-19T16:31:20Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > A B C D Bees? > L M N O Bees. > O S A R Bees. > O S I C D Bees! Lo lo rubc? S, vrbc funex? S, vfx funem? 9 mnx vfn10em! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/29 "2011-10-19T17:51:15Z")
Minnesota person commenting on my New England accent: When someone talks like you around here, we look to see if they got a mouth. My Reply: When someone talks like you in New England, we look to see if they got a _nose_ ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/30 "2011-10-19T17:59:17Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > West Central Scotland, old joke: > > A guy walks into the baker’s shop, points at something on the counter and asks “Is that a donut or a meringue?” > > The baker replies “No, you’re right enough son, it’s a donut.” This ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/31 "2011-10-19T18:40:04Z")
The girls who hang around the entrance to the bars over here in the red-light districts will beckon guys with “Hello, Dahling!” in English. But hold on there. If you listen closely, sometimes they’re not saying Dahling at all, but rather _Na Ling_, which is Thai for “Monkey Face.” This passes for high humor among bargirls. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/32 "2011-10-19T19:20:04Z")
A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man. A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal. What’s a three ‘l’ lllama? A: A wicked big fire. It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/33 "2011-10-19T20:44:24Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man. > A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal. > What’s a three ‘l’ lllama? > > A: A wicked big fire. > > It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian. You misspelled “fiyah”. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/34 "2011-10-19T20:49:25Z")
> [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](#): > > A Wiganer takes his cat into the vets. He says to the vet: ‘can you have a look at me cat, it’s ill?’ The vet asks ‘is it a tom?’. The Wiganer says: ‘No I brought it with me.’ I get this one. > [@](#): > > A Wiganer decides he want to have a golden statue of his dog made so he goes to the jewellers and asks how much it would be. The jeweller asks: ‘Do you want it eighteen carat?’ The Wiganer replies, no I’ll just have it chewing a bone. I get this one. > [@](#): > > What’s the difference between a sock and a camera? Ones for five toes, the others for four toes. I don’t get this one. > [@Telemark](#): > > A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man. > A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal. > What’s a three ‘l’ lllama? > > A: A wicked big fire. > > It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian. My high school Spanish teacher told this joke. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/35 "2011-10-19T20:54:01Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian. A man gets into a cab on Mission Hill. “Take me to the hospital!”, he tells the driver. “Peter Bent?”, asks the driver. The man replied “No, I just bruised it a little.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/36 "2011-10-19T20:55:09Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > I don’t get this one. Four toes = photos. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/37 "2011-10-19T20:57:29Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Four toes = photos. :smack: Of course, it’s so obvious. Of course, I never would have gotten it without being told, so thank you. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/38 "2011-10-19T20:59:46Z")
> [@Nobody](#): > > :smack: Of course, it’s so obvious. Of course, I never would have gotten it without being told, so thank you. I know because I had a roommate who wrote a rap song called Photos. One of the lins was “What do you get when a little piggy gets cut off?” “I guess ya get fo toes.” Bad puns do not belong in hip hop. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/39 "2011-10-19T21:35:22Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > How do we know the Three Wise Men were firemen? > > They came from afar. (“a fire” in Southern) This reminds me of one that’s probably told all over the world. I’ll give the New Orleans-area version: Q: How do we know Jesus wasn’t born in [Chalmette](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalmette,_Louisiana)? A: There aren’t three wise men or a virgin in Chalmette! ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/40 "2011-10-19T21:53:28Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > A B C D Bees? > L M N O Bees. > O S A R Bees. > O S I C D Bees! Not sure if it still open, but there was a Tampa restaurant called CDB. It was named after a book that was written entirely with single letters replacing words and/or syllables. So the picture that went with the title of CDB was a couple of people pointing at a bee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069.md?page=3)