# Regional humor. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 18, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069 "2011-10-18T21:06:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/41 "2011-10-20T09:17:55Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > This reminds me of one that’s probably told all over the world. I’ll give the New Orleans-area version: > > Q: How do we know Jesus wasn’t born in [Chalmette](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalmette,_Louisiana)? > > A: There aren’t three wise men or a virgin in Chalmette! That’s a joke we tell about Liverpool in the UK (and probably a million other places). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/42 "2011-10-20T09:37:08Z")
> [@PaulParkhead](#): > > West Central Scotland, old joke: > > A guy walks into the baker’s shop, points at something on the counter and asks “Is that a donut or a meringue?” > > The baker replies “No, you’re right enough son, it’s a donut.” What’s the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney? Bing sings but Walt Disney ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/43 "2011-10-20T09:47:37Z")
What do Cavan men do on Christmas Eve? Bring their kids to see Santa’s grave. Explanation: People from Co. Cavan are renowned for their meaness, also works with Scotsmen 🙂 How do you know ET’s a Catholic? 'Cos he looks like a Catholic ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/44 "2011-10-20T10:05:42Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Well done **Springtime**. Reward yourself with [one of these](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GKPJHdUo4C0/TW5mj1XTF2I/AAAAAAAABAI/QFMEFOlvlno/s1600/BountyBars-709796.jpg). > > ETA: or [one of these](http://www.musicvideolife.com/uploads/thumbs/d5806941b-1.jpg). I’ll take the one covered in dark chocolate thanks. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/45 "2011-10-20T10:22:25Z")
> [@An\_Gadai](#): > > How do you know ET’s a Catholic? > > 'Cos he looks like a Catholic [Catholic] Why did this make me laugh so hard?[catholic] ---
**Author:** ![drbhoneydew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d78d45/32.png) [@drbhoneydew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drbhoneydew)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/46 "2011-10-20T12:14:48Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Cheryl Cole goes into the doctor’s. > > “Doctor, doctor, me armpits smell of coconut!” > > Doctor replies: “Well, they’re Bounty.” For full regional accuracy, Cheryl would say oxters, not armpits 🙂 Q: Where’s Warsaw? A: In wor shed (wor = our and is pronounced as you’d guess to make the pun work) Southerner: Name a card game. Geordie: Ice Hockey Southerner: That’s not a card game! Geordie: It’s the caadest game ah knaa. Near to Newcastle is the alien realm of Ashington, where the accent is nigh on impenetrable, even to Geordies. This only works in an approximation of pitmatic: An Ashington woman went into the hairdresser’s and asked for a perm. The hairdresser said “Ah wandered lernly as a clerd…” Did you hear about the Wigan exercise class where the instructor said “Hands on thighs” and they all went like this [Hands on th’(e) eyes]? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/47 "2011-10-20T14:28:09Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? > > [New York accent]:_Fuck you!_ > > Note: I’m a New Yorker. How many Austinites does it take to screw in a light bulb? Six- one to screw it in, and five to whine about how great Austin USED to be before they closed the Armadillo. (Note: I’m a transplanted New Yorker myself; ONLY Austinites are likely to get that joke, and only transplants fully appreciate it.) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/48 "2011-10-20T14:36:38Z")
If you’ll permit a departure from the pronunciation thing perhaps the “regional humor” universe might incorporate things like this. A well-meaning Yankee traveler goes into a Mississippi roadside greasy spoon at breakfast time and tries to avoid displaying his accent as best he can. He instructs the teenager at the counter, “I’d like two eggs, over easy, three slices of bacon, dry toast, coffee and 50c worth of grits.” The kid almost collapses to the floor in laughter and is having trouble getting his breath when the Yankee asks what’s so funny. The kid says, as politely as he can, “Mister, you can’t haul 50c worth of grits.” ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/49 "2011-10-20T14:37:20Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > (Note: I’m a transplanted New Yorker myself; ONLY Austinites are likely to get that joke, and only transplants fully appreciate it.) Speaking of which, regional bumper sticker humor: “Keep Georgetown Normal” “Keep Round Rock Mildly Unusual” If you know Austin, you know why. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/50 "2011-10-20T14:38:00Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > A one ‘l’ lama is a holy man. > A two ‘l’ llama is a South American pack animal. > What’s a three ‘l’ lllama? > > A: A wicked big fire. > > It works best when spoken by a true Bostonian. The one-l lama He’s a priest. The two-l llama He’s a beast. But I will bet A silk pajama There isn’t any Three-l lllama. – Ogden Nash. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/51 "2011-10-20T14:49:38Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? > > [New York accent]:_Fuck you!_ > > Note: I’m a New Yorker. How do they cure a heart attack in New York? “Get up before you fuckin’ die!” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/52 "2011-10-20T14:58:38Z")
North Florida joke: A Gainesville couple were on a date. They were making out hot and heavy and the girl whispers into the guy’s ear, “Kiss me where it stinks!” (A real classy chick, she was). So he drove her to Palatka. That’s where the paper mill is. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/53 "2011-10-20T15:01:44Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > A well-meaning Yankee traveler goes into a Mississippi roadside greasy spoon at breakfast time and tries to avoid displaying his accent as best he can. He instructs the teenager at the counter, “I’d like two eggs, over easy, three slices of bacon, dry toast, coffee and 50c worth of grits.” > > The kid almost collapses to the floor in laughter and is having trouble getting his breath when the Yankee asks what’s so funny. > > The kid says, as politely as he can, “Mister, you can’t haul 50c worth of grits.” I know what grits are, but what is “50c”? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/54 "2011-10-20T15:03:26Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > I know what grits are, but what is “50c”? My bad: fifty cents. Or as the rappers say, fitty sint. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/55 "2011-10-20T15:09:35Z")
Okay, now I’m definitely showing ignorance–I buy grits all the time, and don’t get why 50c worth of grits are too much to haul. Sorry for making you spell it out (at least I don’t put sugar on mine). ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/56 "2011-10-20T15:10:31Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Okay, now I’m definitely showing ignorance–I buy grits all the time, and don’t get why 50c worth of grits are too much to haul. Sorry for making you spell it out (at least I don’t put sugar on mine). Some shit just ain’t funny, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/57 "2011-10-20T15:12:54Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > North Florida joke: I’ve heard the same one here, but with Chelsea instead of Palatka. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/58 "2011-10-20T16:33:16Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > The one-l lama > He’s a priest. > The two-l llama > He’s a beast. > But I will bet > A silk pajama > There isn’t any > Three-l lllama. > > – Ogden Nash. This poem had an asterick, with a footnote: The author has been made aware of a conflabation know as a “three alarm-a.” Damn. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/59 "2011-10-20T18:48:50Z")
Seattle: “Is that on Pike or Pine?” (streets downtown) “Yes” (they run parallel to each other, have similar shops, and are often dyslexically confused). Wyoming dialect: “The batteries are dead.” (pronounced ‘bat trees’ by parents) “Where will the bats live now?” (we children mocking parents silly dialect) ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069/60 "2011-10-20T19:41:23Z")
I am hopelessly regional I guess. I get all the Southern jokes and none of the northern ones! :o Oh and on the grits, I’d say that in years past they were probably dirt cheap so 50 cents’ worth would be a metric buttload. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/regional-humor/600069.md?page=4)