# Reinvent Olympic Sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 6, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632 "2012-08-06T17:13:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/1 "2012-08-06T17:13:44Z")
Take a current Olympic sport and make up your own rules. Water Polo: Played out in a field with horses like regular polo, but with regulation water balloon/balls and Nerf-headed mallets. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/2 "2012-08-06T17:27:04Z")
Javelin: You have to play both ends of the sector. For that matter, the same rule applies to the discus and hammer throw. Back to basics: every event has to be done naked. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/3 "2012-08-06T17:32:15Z")
Swimming races are full-contact. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/4 "2012-08-06T17:36:05Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Swimming races are full-contact. _All_ races should be full-contact. And for the long races, have weapons randomly placed along the course, a la “ **Road Rash** ”. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/5 "2012-08-06T17:39:18Z")
The course of fire for the 10m air rifle won’t change…what will change is that each competitor will have someone standing behind them, tapping them on the shoulder and saying “Hey…hey…hey…hey…hey…hey…” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/6 "2012-08-06T17:39:24Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Javelin: You have to play both ends of the sector. > > For that matter, the same rule applies to the discus and hammer throw. > > Back to basics: every event has to be done naked. Javelin: throw for heighth instead of length. Discus: definitely two man, with the catcher heavily padded with special mitts. Hammer throw: thrown at a large nail embedded in the target, scoring based on how deep the nail is pounded into the target. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/7 "2012-08-06T18:24:32Z")
Skeet Shooting: (insert famous “Skeet” or “Skeeter” here) Curling: instead of brooms to heat the path, use “hot bods” in swimsuits to either breath heavily at the ice, or maybe even lick it. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/8 "2012-08-06T19:03:14Z")
Fencoline - Fencing takes place on that huge gymnastic trampoline. Contact can only happen while you’re in the air. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/9 "2012-08-06T19:12:35Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Fencoline - Fencing takes place on that huge gymnastic trampoline. Contact can only happen while you’re in the air. High dive/Trampoline: high diving onto a trampoline then into the pool. Points for difficulty on all three trips. Could surpass the Triple Lindy! ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/10 "2012-08-06T19:14:23Z")
Kayaking will be done on an actual yak. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/11 "2012-08-06T19:23:53Z")
The Centathlon - athletes compete in every discipline. Finish with the marathon. The Pogo-Vault - self explanatory. ---
**Author:** ![Dublin11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dublin11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dublin11)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/12 "2012-08-06T19:28:06Z")
Steeplechase - the winner is the one who’s first to reach the top of an actual church steeple. More or less a guaranteed gold for the US - they’ve got Spiderman. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/13 "2012-08-06T19:30:16Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > The Centathlon - athletes compete in every discipline. Finish with the marathon. A single three-week event? i like it. edited to add: And the winner becomes Batman. ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/14 "2012-08-06T19:43:10Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Javelin: You have to play both ends of the sector. > > For that matter, the same rule applies to the discus and hammer throw. > > Back to basics: every event has to be done naked. Back in high school, I caught a discus out of the air at 140-150 feet. It took me about 10 tries to do it and I was wearing ski gloves to cushion the impact. I also let it “take my arms with it” allowing a full body twist and 270˚ of rotation to slow it down. Not my proudest moment now— but it was supremely awesome when it happened. The coach chewed me out for being stupid as apparently he didn’t believe I was actually trying on the first 9 attempts. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/15 "2012-08-06T19:49:14Z")
Let’s give all those weightlifters a new sport…Medicine Ball Volleyball! ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/16 "2012-08-06T19:51:24Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Kayaking will be done on an actual yak. I like it. Did you know there is a sailing event called the laser? ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/17 "2012-08-06T20:15:56Z")
Javelin: Throw must go through the Olympic rings. More points awarded for the center ring. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/18 "2012-08-06T20:21:56Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > I like it. Did you know there is a sailing event called the laser? I did not, but I like the potential there… Add a letter to an Olympic event: Javelina - toss a wild pig as far as you can. Discuss - world-class smalltalk. Prole vault - how many laborers can you clear? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/19 "2012-08-06T20:25:27Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > I like it. Did you know there is a sailing event called the laser? Does it involve taking a nap in a boat while it drifts down the river? ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/20 "2012-08-06T20:42:30Z")
Since the 1904 Olympics had a [“plunge for distance” dive](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_at_the_1904_Summer_Olympics_%E2%80%93_Plunge_for_distance), they should bring that back and add a “cannonball for height.” Those seated in the Splash Zone should be sure to dress accordingly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632.md?page=2)