# Reinvent Olympic Sports **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 6, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632 "2012-08-06T17:13:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/41 "2012-08-08T15:32:35Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > The Centathlon - athletes compete in every discipline. Finish with the marathon. Even better, _start_ with the marathon! Or, best of all, make them do events along the way (like a demented version of those jogging trails with little workout stations along the way that were popular in the late 70s). ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/42 "2012-08-08T16:51:19Z")
Pole dancing. The gold medal goes to whoever has the most dollar bills in her G-string at the end of a set. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/43 "2012-08-08T17:22:12Z")
> [@Floater](#): > > If I may extend this discussion to Winter sports as well I’d like to propose an alpine [biathlone](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biathlon). Downhill skiing with target shooting on the run. I always thought the drinking and shooting biathalon would be interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Tanbarkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@Tanbarkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanbarkie)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/44 "2012-08-08T17:33:50Z")
My suggestion would be very simple: **Every race comes with red shells.** ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/45 "2012-08-08T17:54:58Z")
I say keep the events the same, but randomly assign the athletes. “So, you’ve spent most of your 16 years training for gymnastics? Well grab some shoes sweetie, because you drew the 100-meter dash. Stop crying, you’re up against two archers, a badminton player and a weightlifter. So you’ll win anyway. Besides, think about the poor fencer who’s going to water polo.” Imagine Michael Phelps doing that little ribbon dancing thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/46 "2012-08-08T19:40:08Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Imagine Michael Phelps doing that little ribbon dancing thing. I will never be able to un-imagine that :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ticker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@ticker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ticker)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/47 "2012-08-08T19:42:58Z")
Remove one event from the Heptathlon, then it would be the Sextathlon. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/48 "2012-08-08T19:53:21Z")
The designers of the women’s beach volleyball uniforms bring you The Marathong. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/49 "2012-08-08T20:42:09Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Imagine Michael Phelps doing that little ribbon dancing thing. Ah yes, “Rhythmic Gymnastics.” Make a pole vault for distance. What other event would benefit from being synchronized? Wrestling? Fencing? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/50 "2012-08-09T11:14:57Z")
Definitely the fencing. They’ve turned it into a sport best played by robots-twitch, twitch, shuffle, _point_, shuffle, shuffle, twitch, _point_. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/51 "2012-08-09T11:31:10Z")
I would modify track events by electrifying the finish line ribbon. You get first place for the heat, but the question is whether you can stop convulsing before your next event. Also, water polo would be modified to be more like Marco polo. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/52 "2012-08-09T11:59:52Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Make a pole vault for distance. The Dutch are [ahead of you](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhTMEePk6D4). ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/53 "2012-08-09T12:13:30Z")
How about the balance-beam caber toss? First you do your routine on it, then you have to chuck it. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby\_Slippers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/94ad74/32.png) [@Ruby\_Slippers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby_Slippers)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/54 "2012-08-09T12:23:32Z")
Electrified hurdles – not a lethal dose but enough to provide major motivation. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/55 "2012-08-09T12:38:16Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > How about the balance-beam caber toss? First you do your routine on it, then you have to chuck it. But will it involve precision tossing as in Scotland or length tossing as on the Baltic island of Gotland? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/56 "2012-08-09T13:10:59Z")
> [@Floater](#): > > But will it involve precision tossing as in Scotland or length tossing as on the Baltic island of Gotland? Considering the strength of most female gymnasts, neither. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/57 "2012-08-10T03:47:08Z")
I would like to see a reverse hurdle event in swimming. A swimmer doing the freestyle has to go underneath a wall two times per lap during the free style event. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/58 "2012-08-10T05:09:03Z")
How about the Rapid Shot Put? Within a brief time limit, each competitor tries to throw a pyramid of 10 heavy metal balls as far as possible. Score total distance of all shot. When describing competitors as having an arm like a cannon, this event really means it! ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/59 "2012-08-10T13:43:13Z")
How about a kayak diving event? You need a local waterfall or waterslide that can be modified though. Paddle up to speed and then do a triple backwards summersault and 1 1/2 twist! ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632/60 "2012-08-10T13:51:04Z")
They had a good idea yesterday on the Canadian sports radio talk show, “Prime Time Sports”: Cannonball diving, and synchronized cannonball diving. Points award based on style and on amount of water displaced. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/reinvent-olympic-sports/630632.md?page=4)