# Rejected Children's Books **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 13, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348 "2000-04-13T16:16:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/41 "2000-04-19T02:44:00Z")
Meet Charlie Manson! Let’s give uncle a bath. Jimmy has two Daddies and a Mommy. Fun at home with the Dallas Cowboys. The Boy Scout guide to Urban Guerilla Warfare. Great Trolls of the Straight Dope Message Board. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/42 "2000-04-19T19:57:00Z")
The Little Engine That Could Have If He Didn’t Drink So Much Marijuana: the Wonderful, Magical Herb * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/43 "2000-04-19T23:23:00Z")
Firecrackers Are Fun! Cooking With Play-Doh 101 More Places to Stick Your Finger Who Says You Can’t Eat Rat Poison? Let’s Look Through Mom’s Underwear Drawer Chainsaws Are Fun! Timmy’s Ladies’ Room Adventure Adolf Hitler’s ABC’s The Picture Necronomicon Molesting Preschoolers is Fun! My First Book of Felching Red Rover, Red Rover, Run Fido Right Over What Color Is Your Blood? * * * Here lies Pierre de Fermat. Unfortunately, there is not enough room on this tombstone for a proper epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/44 "2000-04-19T23:31:00Z")
What’s in Daddy’s Sock Drawer? What’s under the Kitchen Sink? It’s Herpes, Charlie Brown! Uses for a plastic bag Mommy, the water turned purple! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/45 "2000-04-20T00:11:00Z")
Eric, Dylan, and the Bullies. * * * Perked Ears indicate curiosity - Know Your Cat ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/46 "2000-04-20T02:17:00Z")
The Troublemaker’s Ultimate Guide to BB Guns Your Friend, Fire * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/47 "2000-04-20T03:11:00Z")
There’s No One Quite Like You! (Which Is Why You Didn’t Get Any Valentines) Let’s Go to the Liquor Store! Whatever You Do, **Don’t** Look Under Your Bed It Only Gets Worse * * * “Are you frightened of snakes?” “Only when they dress like werewolves.” -Preacher ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2000, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/48 "2000-04-20T19:55:00Z")
## _Jack and the Giant, Part 2 - Descent into Hell Where the Naked Things Live The Lion, The Witch, and the Bathrobe The Practical Guide to Playing Doctor You’re Sitting on a Gold Mine - Money Making Opportunities for Girls._ And anything written by Kenneth Starr. After all, what is your hosts’ purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they’d have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. – P. J. O’Rourke ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/49 "2000-04-21T04:02:00Z")
_Let’s See What’s in that Well_ _Strange Dogs Make Great Ponies_ _Let’s Make Our Wee-Wee Grow!_ _Cool Kids Have Friends, Losers Don’t_ _Things in the Backyard You Can Smoke_ _The Backyard Pirates & Mommy’s Jewelry Box_ _What’s In My Hotdog? (And Other Fun Food Facts)_ * * * “I guess one person can make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/50 "2000-04-21T04:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Surgoshan: > \*\*I once read off a list of these to my Lit teacher. She was pregnant. She thought it was funny. > > \*\* And your point is… ---
**Author:** ![Axel\_Wheeler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Axel\_Wheeler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Axel_Wheeler)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/51 "2000-04-21T15:20:00Z")
It probably wasn’t a Lit Teacher, it was a teacher who was lit. That’s why she thought it was funny. Come to think of it, she was laughing before she heard the joke. And what were those straps holding her arms around herself for? How to Make Money With Your Chemistry Set Charles Atlas: Getting Results the Easy Way The ABCs of Bullying ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2000, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/52 "2000-04-22T18:46:00Z")
Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure in the Theater Fun With Fertilizer ## Why Wait Until You’re Older? Adventures with the Family Car Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/53 "2000-04-23T07:20:00Z")
“Why is it Okay for the Men to Rape Lot’s Daughters?” and Other Questions to Ask Your Sunday School Teacher" Your Baby Sister Can Fly! How to Scare Your Enemies with Urban Legends * * * This post is made of 100% recycled electrons ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2000, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/54 "2000-04-24T05:35:00Z")
Rejected (& vaguely obscene-sounding) Dr Suess title: “Tickle The Mucus, Screamed Lucas Fiducas” * * * “There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.” Countess Olivia to Malvolio; William Shakespeare’s _Twelfth Night_, Act 1, Scene 5. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/55 "2000-04-23T21:58:00Z")
Church Doesn’t Have to be Boring (When Your Parents Aren’t Looking) 101 Fun Things to do in the Sewers * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2000, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/56 "2000-04-24T03:50:00Z")
Oh, the Places You’ll Go When Your Parents Think You’re At School How to Get the Most Fun out of Playing Doctor * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2000, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348/57 "2000-04-25T04:51:00Z")
The Little Wussy Who Just Said No The Joy of Vandalism Money Isn’t Everything - As Long As You Know How to Shoplift * * * Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejected-childrens-books/16348.md?page=2)