# Rejecting friend request: Rejectee notified? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 23, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476 "2013-04-23T05:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/1 "2013-04-23T05:14:56Z")
I’ve got this pending notification sitting here for months now that I haven’t responded to yet. It’s a friend request, that I’m not actually interested in accepting. Going to the “Manage friends requests” page, I see that my choices are: (1) Accept; (2) Reject. If I reject, is the rejectee notified in any way? I don’t want to do that, any more than I’d want to tell someone who I’m ignoring. I want to be discreet. So if I reject, does it happen silently? ETA: Okay, so I might actually enjoy telling all my ignorees who they are, just to be mean. But I won’t. Actually, I’m not ignoring anyone (yet), but I’m starting to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/2 "2013-04-23T06:06:39Z")
There’s no notification that a friend request has been requested. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/3 "2013-04-23T06:13:15Z")
Well, who ever it was is going to know _now._ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/4 "2013-04-23T13:41:08Z")
Gee senegoid if you didn’t want to be my friend, fine. But wow! This really burns!!! (hint to the others: it wasn’t really me) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/5 "2013-04-23T20:04:32Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Gee senegoid if you didn’t want to be my friend, fine. But wow! This really burns!!! > > (hint to the others: it wasn’t really me) No, it wasn’t you. You never asked to be my friend ☹ And anyway, I started an ATMB thread several months ago, in which I asked what is the effect of being someone’s friend in vBulletin anyway, and never got much of an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/6 "2013-04-23T21:08:02Z")
A lot of the friend functionality is either not enabled or not a part of this version of vBulletin. Mostly, if they’re your friend (which necessarily means they’re in your contacts) they can PM you if you have it set to only accept PMs from Mods and Contacts. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/7 "2013-04-23T21:17:59Z")
I think that if I sent someone a friend request and they didn’t respond for nine months, I’d get the picture that it was a “no.” A rejection notification doesn’t strike me as any less humane. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/8 "2013-04-24T01:52:18Z")
How can my imaginary friends contact me? Oh, nevermind. I see one now. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/9 "2013-04-24T03:48:23Z")
Can we have an enemies’ list? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/10 "2013-04-24T03:52:38Z")
OP, friend request me and I’ll reject it… then you’ll have your answer. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/11 "2013-04-24T03:57:24Z")
But, what does it mean to be ‘friends’. The only thing I can see that it does is make me feel awkward when I have to stridently disagree with someone on my friend list. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/12 "2013-04-24T06:10:32Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Can we have an enemies’ list? [Yes!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showgroups.php) ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/13 "2013-04-25T02:38:39Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > [Yes!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showgroups.php) Those bastards! _shakes fist_ ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/14 "2013-04-25T03:07:23Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > But, what does it mean to be ‘friends’. The only thing I can see that it does is make me feel awkward when I have to stridently disagree with someone on my friend list. You’re supposed to use a smiley 🙂 whenever you stridently disagree with someone on your friends list. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/15 "2013-04-25T03:26:28Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Can we have an enemies’ list? Do the enemies of my enemies belong on my friends list? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/16 "2013-04-25T03:36:08Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Do the enemies of my enemies belong on my friends list? Kill them all and let god sort them out. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/17 "2013-04-25T04:01:22Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Kill them all and let god sort them out. Applying deductive reasoning to the problem: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. ergo, enemies of your enemies should be trying to bore their way into one or more of your bodily orifices. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/18 "2013-04-25T04:02:32Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > Applying deductive reasoning to the problem: > > Keep your friends close. > Keep your enemies closer. > > ergo, enemies of your enemies should be trying to bore their way into one or more of your bodily orifices. Pfft! I’m in Thailand. They try that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/19 "2013-04-25T04:31:32Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > You’re supposed to use a smiley 🙂 whenever you stridently disagree with someone on your friends list. And you’re supposed to use a maddie :mad: whenever you stridently agree with someone on your enemies list. Although, if you are stridently agreeing with someone on your enemies list, you’re doing something wrong ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rejecting-friend-request-rejectee-notified/656476/20 "2013-04-25T04:47:18Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > And you’re supposed to use a maddie :mad: whenever you stridently agree with someone on your enemies list. No you don’t! :mad: