# Relation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 15, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687 "2015-02-15T01:03:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Donald78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f05b48/32.png) [@Donald78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donald78)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/1 "2015-02-15T01:03:30Z")
My late wife has a brother. Is he still my brother-in-law and what’s his wife’s relation to me? Sister-in-law?😕 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/2 "2015-02-15T01:55:57Z")
In the long run, it depends on what you want it to be. It would be interesting to know what exactly “in-law” means in a legal sense, although I presume it’s context-dependent (and perhaps also dependent on the state you’re in). If you’re the mayor of your home town, you probably shouldn’t award either of them any no-bid contracts. ---
**Author:** ![Cole33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cole33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cole33)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/3 "2015-02-15T02:09:40Z")
sorry to hear about your wife:( ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/4 "2015-02-15T03:52:21Z")
> [@Donald78](#): > > My late wife has a brother. Is he still my brother-in-law and what’s his wife’s relation to me? Sister-in-law?😕 No formal relation, since you’re no longer married to his wife. He’s a former BIL. His wife wasn’t your SIL and still isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/5 "2015-02-15T04:33:19Z")
My brother died ten years ago. Since he and his wife remained married (and apparently happily) until death did they part, I consider that she is still my sister-in-law and always will be. In contrast, my other brother got divorced about 30 years ago, making her his ex-wife (although they have been on amicable terms ever since). So I consider her my ex-sister-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/6 "2015-02-15T14:10:03Z")
Despite the term “in law”, there’s nothing legal about these terms. They mean whatever the culture deems them to mean. In the OP’s specific case those people can be ex-, former- or current in-laws as you choose. We’ve had discussions in the past about relations-by-nmariage and have found that different cultures have very different terminology. E.g. some differentiate between brother of spouse and spouse of brother. English calls both “brother in law”. Also IIRC we found that US folks differed on whether the spouse of a sibling of a spouse was or wasn’t a brother/sister in law. Some folks said yes, others no. \*\*Chefguy \*\*and I would be on opposite sides of this divide. He said “no”, I say “yes”. IMO there’s no way to determine who is more right. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/7 "2015-02-15T15:31:43Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Despite the term “in law”, there’s nothing legal about these terms. Actually, a Google search (by me, a layman) indicates that the question posed by the OP (whether death ends an in-law relationship, called affinity) _has_ been addressed by courts and laws multiple times. Some rulings say that the relationship ends on the death of the spouse, while others say that it continues (or perhaps it continues if there are children). The issue comes up with regard to marrying one’s wife’s sister (is that incest?), inheritance law or the right to file a lawsuit. But in general I’d say to the OP that both he and his late wife’s brother both loved her, and that should be enough to sustain some sort of relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/8 "2015-02-15T16:10:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Despite the term “in law”, there’s nothing legal about these terms. They mean whatever the culture deems them to mean. In the OP’s specific case those people can be ex-, former- or current in-laws as you choose. > > We’ve had discussions in the past about relations-by-nmariage and have found that different cultures have very different terminology. E.g. some differentiate between brother of spouse and spouse of brother. English calls both “brother in law”. > > Also IIRC we found that US folks differed on whether the spouse of a sibling of a spouse was or wasn’t a brother/sister in law. Some folks said yes, others no. \*\*Chefguy \*\*and I would be on opposite sides of this divide. He said “no”, I say “yes”. IMO there’s no way to determine who is more right. True enough. The usual definition of ‘brother-in-law’ is (a) the brother of your wife, or (b) the husband of your sister. Depending on one’s relationship with those people after a death will depend on the relationship with them prior to the event. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/9 "2015-02-16T19:42:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Despite the term “in law”, there’s nothing legal about these terms. They mean whatever the culture deems them to mean. In the OP’s specific case those people can be ex-, former- or current in-laws as you choose. > > We’ve had discussions in the past about relations-by-nmariage and have found that different cultures have very different terminology. E.g. some differentiate between brother of spouse and spouse of brother. English calls both “brother in law”. > > Also IIRC we found that US folks differed on whether the spouse of a sibling of a spouse was or wasn’t a brother/sister in law. Some folks said yes, others no. \*\*Chefguy \*\*and I would be on opposite sides of this divide. He said “no”, I say “yes”. IMO there’s no way to determine who is more right. My dad has one brother, and had one sister (the sister passed away in 1976 or so). The sister married a man whom I grew up calling my uncle, and my dad (correctly) considered this man his brother-in-law all the way up to my uncle’s death last week. And my mother also considered this man her brother-in-law (until her death in 2009). Again (in my view) correctly. Oddly, the woman who my dad’s brother married is considered a sister-in-law by my dad. _But was NEVER regarded as a sister-in-law by my mother_. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/10 "2015-02-16T20:24:03Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > His wife wasn’t your SIL and still isn’t. Not true. See definition #3. [http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sister-in-law](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sister-in-law) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relation/712687/11 "2015-02-17T02:29:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **LSLGuy** : > > E.g. some differentiate between brother of spouse and spouse of brother. English calls both “brother in law”. While customs are changing somewhat on this matter, it is still relatively rare for an English-speaker to call the spouse of one’s brother a brother-in-law. The more common term for that relationship is “sister-in-law”.