# Relationships that start bad and turn good? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 14, 2012, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016 "2012-12-14T12:12:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016/61 "2012-12-25T19:17:21Z")
> [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](#): > > You can just delete his number. You can not respond. Again: you are an adult and only you are responsible for your destiny. To act powerless to his ways casts you in a seriously immature light. Well, to make things sound a million times worse, I don’t even feel like that’s true. Dude won’t let me go without a fight, and he used to have my cell number only. Now he has my cell, home, email, address, work, mom’s house, family’s Facebook, etc. Do not feel the urge to punch me in the face because I already feel it so, so many times. > [@](#): > > As for not knowing what’s wrong with you, join the club. I think most people have issues to deal with. It doesn’t mean you have to settle for a jerk that treats you poorly. Finding oneself can take a very long time and unfortunately the meter doesn’t run while you’re preoccupied. Please PM me if you’re dealing with something like this. Especially if you’re dealing with it better than I am. Otherwise: I know, of course you’re right. I don’t know, I try to be all the way honest, which I try to be here also. I think most counselors aren’t particularly helpful to most people, especially not counselors-in-training like poor people like me get. But I try, and have tried for so many years. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016/62 "2012-12-25T19:36:53Z")
_regrets saying that last thing_ Don’t be mean to me, okay? I already know how fucked up it is. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016/63 "2012-12-25T21:29:59Z")
No, I’m not dealing with this because I made a very conscience effort to not bring drama into my life. My basis for picking men: if my daughter was in my shoes, would I be happy for her? The last part wasn’t the messed up part, IMO. It was the first part, you acting the powerless victim. If you tell him it’s over (with conviction) it’s over. If not? its called a restraining order. The more you describe him the worse both of you appear. Honestly, I hope the best for you in the coming year. ---
**Author:** ![SweetiePotato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SweetiePotato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SweetiePotato)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016/64 "2012-12-27T20:14:28Z")
Another one to chime in that this is not a good situation. a 13-yo daughter also picks up on the fact that her mom has been hanging out with this guy for a long time with no significant commitment. That sends a message, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/relationships-that-start-bad-and-turn-good/644016.md?page=3)