# Religion and ... Cows! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 15, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208 "2003-02-15T03:38:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/41 "2003-10-28T12:27:03Z")
I’m Mooving on to another thread. This is udderly silly. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/42 "2003-10-28T12:35:59Z")
Diskworld: The cow should be tied down with strong knots; thereby keeping church members from having to pre-soak bloodstained Sunday-clothes after services. ---
**Author:** ![7string](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/8baadc/32.png) [@7string](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7string)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/43 "2003-10-28T19:27:37Z")
OU Fan: Forget the cow… We’ll eat the BEVOists ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/44 "2003-10-29T08:45:45Z")
\*\*Amish \*\*: our wives are cows. **Baptist** : Only _moo_ can be saved. **Wacky TV Show from yesteryear** : The Flying Cow ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/45 "2003-10-29T15:19:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BellaDellaItalia \* > \*\*Don’t you mean MOOhammad, True Black Jack? > > Sorry. Unbelievably bad pun moment. > > How about this one? > > Paganism: The cow has 120 calves. If we don’t keep them happy they will send down great plagues of flies. Since we have no tails to swat them with we are doomed. Doomed doomed doomed. But we should still try to keep the cows happy. Bring grass. Lots of grass. \*\* You’re right-- and I just remembered the Kowba in Mookka! * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/46 "2003-10-29T17:02:18Z")
. . . and of course the Kowba is not to be confused with the Kowbowwa of the Occowlt! * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/47 "2003-10-29T20:16:05Z")
Only the one true Cowhead has achieved ultimate bovinity. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/48 "2003-10-29T21:08:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by True Blue Jack \* > \*\*You’re right-- and I just remembered the Kowba in Mookka! > > * * * > > True Blue Jack \*\* And while everyone is required to make a pilgrimage to Mookka at least once in their lifetime, (if at all possum-bull) there is always the opportunity to worchip (you heard me) at the local Moosque. Adherents are allowed to drink non-fermented milk. But only one glass, once a day. This lets them remain Mooslim. :rolleyes: GROOOOOAN! * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/49 "2003-10-29T21:30:49Z")
**Buddists** believe in the Zen of Moo. ---
**Author:** ![hawkeyejo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@hawkeyejo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawkeyejo)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/50 "2003-10-29T22:12:17Z")
Missionaries : Cows are bad…here, drink buffalo milk and you’ll go to heaven ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/51 "2003-10-29T22:47:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TWDuke \* > **No, no, no.** No, I was right. > [@](#): > > **Atheist: There is no cow. > Agnostic: We can know nothing of cows. > Skeptic: Prove there’s a cow.** Actually: Atheist: Nobody’s proven there’s a cow, so I don’t believe it. Agnostic: We can know nothing of cows. Skeptic: See atheist. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/52 "2003-10-29T22:52:50Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Homebrew_ > BEVOism - Hook ‘em Horns. > As a Fightin’ Texas Aggie '92, I feel dirty typing the above As a Texas Ex who watched the OU game a few weeks back, _I_ would feel dirty typing the above! > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by klockwerk_ > Masai: > All your cows are belong to us! I hate to nitpick (no, actually, I love to nitpick) but that should be “All your **cow** are belong to us!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/53 "2003-10-30T13:33:49Z")
Ben & Jerry’s religion–Bovine Divinity ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/54 "2003-10-30T17:21:31Z")
Zen ko(w)an: What is the sound of one cow clapping? Mooooo. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/55 "2003-10-30T19:10:15Z")
One of the chants of the famous Gregorian Mooonks: Moooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooo Moooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooo-oooooooo Moooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooo Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oooooooo-men ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/56 "2003-10-30T19:17:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ponder Stibbons \* > \*\*One of the chants of the famous Gregorian Mooonks: > > Moooooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooo > Moooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooo-oooooooo > Moooooooooo-oooooooooooooooooo-ooooooooooo > Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo > Oooooooo-men \*\* “More cowbell! I need more cowbell!” ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/57 "2003-10-30T20:17:09Z")
Thanks to **Johnny Bravo** pop-reference, it’s only a short jump to: Druids: Will we ever know if they built Cowhenge as a calendar or for sacrifices? Or did they even build it rather than finding it? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/58 "2003-10-30T20:22:57Z")
This should be named the Gary Larson thread. ---
**Author:** ![BlackGriffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d26b3c/32.png) [@BlackGriffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackGriffin)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2004, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208/59 "2004-02-15T12:11:13Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > \*\*Amish \*\*: our wives are cows. > > **Baptist** : Only _moo_ can be saved. > > **Wacky TV Show from yesteryear** : The Flying Cow Uhh… Baptist? I don’t understand what you were saying there, so here’s my version. The one and only great cow sent its only begotten calf to die and take away the sins of all mankind, so if we believed our sins would be forgiven and we go to heaven. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-cows/155208.md?page=2)