# Religion and waving penises around **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881 "2023-04-19T01:32:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/1 "2023-04-19T01:32:52Z")
From an email discussion between my sibling and I, on my mom’s latest attempt to get us children to return to Mormonism. Their comment: > [@](#): > > Having a religious belief is kind of like having a penis. It’s a great thing to have, and you can be as proud of it as you like, but if you take it out in public and wave it around, bad things can happen. As a proud owner of a penis who has yet to wave it around in public, I support this idea. I’m not intending to have a discussion of religion here, rather, have you heard (or said) anything pithy laterly? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/2 "2023-04-19T01:36:11Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I’m not intending to have a discussion of religion here, rather, have you heard (or said) anything pithy laterly? From an old Life In Hell comic: “Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s nothing to be particularly proud of, either.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/3 "2023-04-19T01:43:28Z")
“You have to be odd to be Number One.” “Fair is where you get cotton candy.” ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/4 "2023-04-19T02:21:42Z")
When my youngest (from here on called BtY) was in 4th grade, he was used to bullying and let it kind of roll off his back (one of the advantages of his ASD - he didn’t let things bother him because other people didn’t matter. ) One of his friends, a girl whose family was close to ours, was being bullied by several girls in her class. She was talking about out one afternoon when I picked them up. BtY turned and told her, "This is what you’ve got to do. You have to think of them like a cactus. They’ve got all the prickly bits on them. And since they’re prickly, you stay away from them. Because you don’t have to care what a prickly cactus thinks about you. " Cacti have become our family code for bullies and other jerks. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/5 "2023-04-19T02:23:27Z")
Yet. Interesting. Great thread title! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/6 "2023-04-19T03:13:58Z")
> [@TruePisces](#): > > Cacti have become our family code for bullies and other jerks. I really like that! I’ll tell that to my children. > [@SuntanLotion](#): > > Great thread title! Shameless clickbaiting! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/7 "2023-04-19T14:32:43Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Having a religious belief is kind of like having a penis. Having one will lead you down The Wrong Path if you let it do the thinking for you. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/8 "2023-04-19T16:15:05Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > “Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s nothing to be particularly proud of, either.” [Someone didn’t get the message.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/woooo-i-am-masturbating-like-a-mother-fuck/231264) ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/9 "2023-04-19T16:31:21Z")
Ugh. I need some serious brain bleach, or even brain Drano, to get rid of this mental image: “Waving penises” A crowd of young people at a football game, but the people are actually penises on bleachers, cheering. “Lean to the Left! Lean to the Right! Stand Up! Sit Down! Fight! Fight! Fight!” I bet if there’s a touchdown things really get…sticky. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/10 "2023-04-19T16:43:51Z")
I can’t top that, kudos to you. And thanks for the laugh, even though it sent the beer _up_ the Wrong Path. It was worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/11 "2023-04-19T17:02:09Z")
I don’t know about pithy, but I used to tell my kids “If you insist on being uninformed, you’ll likely end up uniformed.” Meaning that the likelihood of being in McDonald’s or other company/military garb is higher if you are uneducated. My youngest ended up working for Menard’s for 17 years, and ruefully told me that he really wished he had gone to college instead of joining the workforce so young. I also told my kids “Everything you do in life has a consequence. You just have to decide whether that consequence is going to be a good one or a bad one, depending on what action you choose to take.” ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2023, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/12 "2023-04-19T18:07:04Z")
There’s a Yiddish expression that translates roughly as “When the prick stands, the brains fall to the ground,” but is more eloquent than that. World history in a nutshell. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/13 "2023-04-20T00:19:28Z")
Continuing the penis theme of this thread… I think it was here on the Dope where I first read this remark on the difference between raising teenage boys and raising teenage girls: “If you have a boy, you have to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about all the penises.” ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/14 "2023-04-20T01:04:01Z")
[quote=“TokyoBayer, post:1, topic:982881”] Their comment: > [@](#): > > Having a religious belief is kind of like having a penis. It’s a great thing to have, and you can be as proud of it as you like, but if you take it out in public and wave it around, bad things can happen. I heard it as > [@](#): > > Religion is like a penis: > It’s okay to have one, but not everybody does. > It’s okay to be proud of yours, although it’s really not an accomplishment. > But, it’s never okay to try to force it on somebody without their consent. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/15 "2023-04-20T01:17:24Z")
Penises. [https://www.instagram.com/p/B5pf2mTHy-a/?hl=en](https://www.instagram.com/p/B5pf2mTHy-a/?hl=en) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/16 "2023-04-20T03:38:31Z")
It’s the pluralization that confronts me. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/17 "2023-04-20T04:10:21Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > From an old Life In Hell comic: > > “Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s nothing to be particularly proud of, either.” I think if we combine that with the spirit of the OP we end up with something along the lines of: A personal religious belief is like masturbation; nothing to be ashamed of but nothing to be particularly proud of either. And not suitable for public demonstrations. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2023, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-and-waving-penises-around/982881/18 "2023-04-20T11:11:06Z")
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.: “I have so many skeletons in my closet that, if they could vote, I would be king of the world.”