# Religion ruins everything.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 12, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848 "2008-12-12T06:08:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/1 "2008-12-12T06:08:49Z")

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Just deleted the umpteenth “christian” chain mail today. FWD: FWD: FWD: The kind with 125 pt type, in all colors from pink straight trough to purple. In some gagtastic script font, in order to feel nice and churchy. Full of sugary glurge, thick enough to gag God Himself. Then, it has the nerve to ask you to send it to everybody in your inbox, lest Jesus cast you into His infernal delete box.

What’s wrong with people? Why do seemingly regular people fall for this bullshit?

I grow weary of them. These… _people._

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**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/2 "2008-12-12T12:53:54Z")

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Seconded.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/3 "2008-12-12T13:39:50Z")

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Took me a minute to decide what to do with this, but I think it belongs in the Pit, not MPSIMS.

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**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/4 "2008-12-12T14:19:18Z")

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oh jeebus, I’m always getting crap like this from several relatives of mine. And it’s usually about something completely stupid and offensive. obama being a Muslim, Pepsi’s botched pledge of allegience on their can, and a thousand other stupid things. and it’s always something you have to open about 10 times to get to the original letter. But it has a religious look to it, and it’s all churchy, so they just buy everything it has to say hook line and sinker. I always send it back to them and CC everybody they sent it to explaining how/why it’s wrong and making them feel like an ass for sending it out. For some reason, I don’t get near as many of these as I used to. so you know…win/win.

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/5 "2008-12-12T14:19:55Z")

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What does religion have to do with it? If you take God out of craptastic, obnoxious e-mails that hurt your eyes and offend your soul, then what you are left with is godless, craptastic, obnoxious e-mails that hurt your eyes and offend your soul.

Maxine, I’m looking at you.

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**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/6 "2008-12-12T14:25:57Z")

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I just get the ones telling me what a wonderful, strong woman I am and how we all have to be wonderful, strong women together and how I now have to forward it to all the wonderful, strong women in my contact list. Funny how little strength it takes to delete it. And how wonderful it feels.

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**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/7 "2008-12-12T15:56:10Z")

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Hijack:

Jeebus! What’s in this cough syrup? I swear I read the thread title as “Penguins ruin everything.”

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**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/8 "2008-12-12T16:00:50Z")

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> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#):
>
> Hijack:
> 
> Jeebus! What’s in this cough syrup? I swear I read the thread title as “Penguins ruin everything.”

Oi, leave penguins out of this. They are birds that can’t fly; don’t you think they have it bad enough, without being associated with the ruination of the planet?

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**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/9 "2008-12-12T16:09:59Z")

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> [@ivan\_astikov](#):
>
> Oi, leave penguins out of this. They are birds that can’t fly; don’t you think they have it bad enough, without being associated with the ruination of the planet?

True. God really shafted them in the “functional wings” department. They should rebel with a 120 point font and demand for improved appendages.

Hey, that’s an idea! **cmyk** you should forward the glurge right, back but replace the word “God” with “the penguins” and see what happens then.

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**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/10 "2008-12-12T16:46:39Z")

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Let’s give it a go:

Pass this on **ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT!!**

Yes, I do Love Penguins.

THEY are my source of existence and Savior.

_**Penguins keeps me functioning each and every day. Without penguins, I will be nothing. But, with penguins, THEY strengthen me. (Phil 4:13)**_

This is the simplest test.

**[SIZE=“3”]If You Love Penguins… And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things PENGUINS have done for you…[/SIZE]**

Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!

_I don’t think I know 10 people who would admit they love penguins. [SIZE=“4”]Do You love Penguins?[/SIZE]_

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**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/11 "2008-12-12T17:21:13Z")

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> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#):
>
> _Do You love Penguins?_

I don’t believe in penguins.

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**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/12 "2008-12-12T17:26:30Z")

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> [@tdn](#):
>
> What does religion have to do with it? If you take God out of craptastic, obnoxious e-mails that hurt your eyes and offend your soul, then what you are left with is godless, craptastic, obnoxious e-mails that hurt your eyes and offend your soul.
> 
> Maxine, I’m looking at you.

I hate it ALL. Can’t stand it. I hate the religious glurge, the antireligious glurge, the political glurge, the get rich junk, the “get bigger boobs” mails AND the “enlarge your wedding tackle” mails (BOTH? That would be klind of scary).

I hate it all. I don’t want it. I am sick of it filling my damn mail all the time. I wish it were illegal. I would file charges on all of them, just to do it.

Added on edit: Penguins are cool.

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/13 "2008-12-12T17:26:45Z")

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> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> I don’t believe in penguins.

That’s o.k., 'cause penguins believe in _you_.

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**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/14 "2008-12-12T17:35:09Z")

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Originally posted by **Czarcasm**

> [@](#):
>
> That’s o.k., 'cause penguins believe in you.

WINNER ! ! (dear Penguin that made me laugh, and it felt good)

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**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/15 "2008-12-12T17:35:31Z")

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> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> I don’t believe in penguins.

I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Penguins…

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**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/16 "2008-12-12T17:38:07Z")

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I saw a penguin at the zoo once. But it’s quite possible I was high at the time.

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**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/17 "2008-12-12T17:39:45Z")

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> [@CircleofWillis](#):
>
> I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Penguins…

Are you a bona fide penguafarian? I thought the FSP was just an internet meme.

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**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/18 "2008-12-12T17:42:56Z")

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> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#):
>
> Are you a bona fide penguafarian? I thought the FSP was just an internet meme.

That what the Emperor FSP wants you to believe…

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**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/19 "2008-12-12T17:54:28Z")

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I’m with the OP, although i agree that religion is far from the only culprit here.

Here’s an email i got from a friend the other day:

> [@](#):
>
> For His Memory
> 
> Do you remember February 1993 in England , when a young boy of 3 was taken from a Liverpool shopping centre by two 10-year-old boys? Jamie Bulger walked away from his mother for only a second, Jon Venables took his hand and led him out of the mall with his friend Robert Thompson. They took Jamie on a walk for over 2 and a half miles, along the way stopping every now and again to torture the poor little boy who was crying constantly for his mummy.
> 
> Finally they stopped at a railway track where they brutally kicked him, threw stones at him, rubbed paint in his eyes, pushed batteries up his anus and cut his  
> fingers off with scissors. Other mutilations were inflicted but not reported in the press.
> 
> N.B. :- Remember, a 3year old cannot possibly defend themselves against a 10 year old, let alone of 2 them.
> 
> What these two boys did was so horrendous that Jamie’s mother was forbidden to identify his body. They then left his beaten small body on railway tracks so a train could run him over to hide the mess they had created. These two boys, even being boys, understood what they did was wrong, hence trying to make it look like an accident.
> 
> This week Lady Justice Butler-Sloss has awarded the two boys ( now men ), anonymity for the rest of their lives when they leave custody with new identities. They will also leave custody early only serving just over half of their sentence. They are being relocated to Australia to live out the rest of their lives. They disgustingly and violently took Jamie’s life away and in return they each get a new life!
> 
> Please… . If you feel as strongly as we do, (and if you haven’t already signed this petition ) that this is a grave Miscarriage of justice - Hit the forward button and add your name at the end, and send it to everyone you can !
> 
> If you are the 700th person to sign, please forward this e-mail to: [cust.ser.cs@gtnet.gov.uk](mailto:cust.ser.cs@gtnet.gov.uk) and mark it for the attention to Lady Justice Butler-Sloss.
> 
> Then continue on until it hits 1400, before you email her the list again.
> 
> There is power in numbers & these petitions do help. Maybe it’ll prevent another child from a violent death & maybe it’ll get greater, more appropriate convictions for these criminals.whatever their age.
> 
> Please take a few seconds to forward it to your mail list & don’t forget to add your name to the list.

The only thing missing from the above quote is the list of 654 names underneath, and the 24 point, red, comic sans font that the body of the message was composed in.

There are about 50 things wrong with this email. A quick read of the [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger) and [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/politics/crime/bulger.asp) entries on the Jamie Bulger murder makes very clear what they are.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/20 "2008-12-12T17:56:22Z")

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[Some Penguins can fly-or at least look like they can.](http://crosby87.com/)

😛

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