# Religion ruins everything. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848 "2008-12-12T06:08:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/21 "2008-12-12T17:58:35Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > …demand for improved appendages. …you can \*pray \*for that? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/22 "2008-12-12T18:01:40Z")
Have to agree that the problem is the sugary glurginess, not specifically the religion. I particularly hate those “friends” ones–the ones that call up a bunch of sappy visions of friends, and then end with a hot-pink “Love ya!” Aww. And they cared so much they put me on their email list with 440 of their other close friends. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/23 "2008-12-12T18:10:19Z")
Yup. Sis sent me one on Facebook a couple months back, which wasn’t actually called “Aww. How they let the retard win at baseball” but might as well have been. It had the usual instructions to forward it to everyone, if you can actually pass on something _warm_ and _meaningful_ instead of just the crappy jokes that you wouldn’t think twice before passing on. I dared to protest, whereupon the poor little flower complained that it was the second time I’d put her down in public (the first was on Friends Reunited about five years ago) and I just didn’t realize how hurtful it was and she loved me as a brother but it was hard work sometimes… I’ve had no glurge from her since, though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/24 "2008-12-12T18:10:33Z")
To continue the Spheniscinae hijack… \*[And Tango Makes Three\*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_Tango_Makes_Three) is the contemporary tale of immaculate conception and birth of our Penguin Savior, Tango. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! = Tango, Roy, and Silo! _sung to tune of “Away in a manger”_ _Away in a zoo exhibit, no ice flow for a bed, the little Lord Tango gulped down his regurgitated fish heads_ ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/25 "2008-12-12T18:17:11Z")
Can YOU believe that some People in \*Godforsaken parts \*of the Planet worship **TIM-TAMS** instead of _PENGUINS_??? IF you Believe \*\*Tim-Tams have no place in Our Lives \*\* **please** FORWARD this e-Mail to 10 PEOPLE!!!1 ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/26 "2008-12-12T18:21:50Z")
> [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](#): > > To continue the Spheniscinae hijack… > > \*[And Tango Makes Three\*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_Tango_Makes_Three) is the contemporary tale of immaculate conception and birth of our Penguin Savior, Tango. > > Jesus, Mary and Joseph! = Tango, Roy, and Silo! > > _sung to tune of “Away in a manger”_ > > _Away in a zoo exhibit, no ice flow for a bed, the little Lord Tango gulped down his regurgitated fish heads_ There is an off shoot of the FSP religion that refers to themselves as Opus Dei ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/27 "2008-12-12T18:32:22Z")
> [@CircleofWillis](#): > > There is an off shoot of the FSP religion that refers to themselves as Opus Dei Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/28 "2008-12-12T18:42:25Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I don’t believe in penguins. You’re making baby Crosby and Malkin cry. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/29 "2008-12-12T18:44:19Z")
> [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](#): > > To continue the Spheniscinae hijack… > > \*[And Tango Makes Three\*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_Tango_Makes_Three) is the contemporary tale of immaculate conception and birth of our Penguin Savior, Tango. > > Jesus, Mary and Joseph! = Tango, Roy, and Silo! > > _sung to tune of “Away in a manger”_ > > _Away in a zoo exhibit, no ice flow for a bed, the little Lord Tango gulped down his regurgitated fish heads_ My friend was in the theater version of this ([Maker's Notebook - Hardcover 3rd Edition](http://www.makershed.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=9780596519414)). He was “the resident geek Curly”. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/30 "2008-12-12T18:45:04Z")
You know what else ruins everything? Generalizations. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/31 "2008-12-12T18:46:42Z")
Nice people. Penguins. THEY RUIN EVERYTHING! Well, true, religion isn’t the only culprit when it comes to glurgy chain emails. But damn, I think they consist of over 60% of the ones I get. I just can’t stand that people use their religion as an excuse to get superstitious. If it was just plain old superstition, then I could email them back, and CC everyone on the list to laugh at it. Otherwise, I’m afraid of getting lynched. They must really believe that Jesus will send them to hell for not forwarding it to 97 people. _The stupid! Get it off me!_ Besides, you add a pinch of religion to anything that is supposed to be neutral, and boom, ROONED. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/32 "2008-12-12T19:21:20Z")
Please help. The gods of Microsoft will send me a free computer if your forward this to 50 of your closest friends and each of them does the same. TYVM ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/33 "2008-12-12T19:28:00Z")
I never get any religious chain emails… Why doesn’t Jesus love me? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/34 "2008-12-12T19:31:00Z")
> [@Atomicflea](#): > > I never get any religious chain emails… > > Why doesn’t Jesus love me? I pray to Jesus for larger wedding tackle and he just laughs and hands me a fish . . . why doesn’t he love me!? ---
**Author:** ![CircleofWillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/54ee81/32.png) [@CircleofWillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CircleofWillis)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/35 "2008-12-12T19:34:21Z")
> [@Atomicflea](#): > > I never get any religious chain emails… > Why doesn’t Jesus love me? Dear Atomicflea, I am trying to open a bakeryand need 5000 dollars to do so. I have a check for 10000 dollars to open it, but my bank is keeping the funds until they can verify my identity. Therefore if you send me 5000 dollars cash, you can keep the balance. Sincerely Jesus Jesus doesnt send chain emails. He turns loaves into phishes. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/36 "2008-12-12T19:35:06Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > I pray to Jesus for larger wedding tackle and he just laughs and hands me a fish . . . why doesn’t he love me!? Can you imagine what life would be like if Jesus answered that kind of prayer all the time? They’d have to make men’s trousers with three legs. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/37 "2008-12-12T19:40:48Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > …you can \*pray \*for that? :eek: Yes, but it hasn’t worked. I’m thinking of changing religion\* - can you recommend a merciful god? - Actually, I’m lying ( Not a very good start, I know!). I haven’t even got a religion. Is it a bit like the National Lottery, and you’ve got to be in it to win it? Can I not just be part-time religious? ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/38 "2008-12-12T19:43:18Z")
You there is a connection between Penguins and religion right? Morgan Freeman. I think we may be on to something here. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/39 "2008-12-12T19:45:31Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Can you imagine what life would be like if Jesus answered that kind of prayer all the time? They’d have to make men’s trousers with three legs. Sure, but with larger tackle I could cast for and catch my own fish and not have to rely on His Fish to take care of my needs . . . . ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848/40 "2008-12-12T19:47:32Z")
> [@5-4-Fighting](#): > > Sure, but with larger tackle I could cast for and catch my own fish and not have to rely on His Fish to feed my needs . . . . Wait, are you saying you whack it to thoughts of Jesus? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/religion-ruins-everything/476848.md?page=3)