The problem was that it seemed as if that was your outlook, not your Mom’s. Sorry if I misunderstood.
No, I need to be dragged back to reality sometimes. I know I can count on you for that.
So, my daughter has been going to Catholic school since, at least, Kindergarten.
Looking at colleges, she’s interested in St. John’s and Fordham, both Catholic universities.
However, she stopped going to church around the age of 16, was professing agnostic thoughts earlier, argues constantly with her theology teachers (driving one of them a bit batty), and I don’t really care enough about Christianity or Catholicism to even think about fighting her on this, so that was that. So
But she loves her Catholic schooling.
People are funny that way.
Religious schools can have a certain vibe or feel to them that is appealing even if one isn’t into religion oneself. They may have cozier architecture, have more of a student-body-is-a-big-family vibe, seem less hip (if one dislikes hip stuff,) be more predictable or structured.
I never regularly went to church so there is no opting in or out needed for my kids. As far as religion I just told them that different people believe different things, religion can provide comfort, fellowship, and guidance for many many people, but I personally just never had the need for it.
My wife wanted to raise the kids as Catholic. I was raised Catholic but questioned it all from early on but I said that was OK with me. I would only be as involved as I wanted to be and I wouldn’t go along with anything I didn’t want to do.
I attended the kids’ baptisms but kept my mouth shut through the whole thing, including the part where the parents renounce Satan. The priest didn’t like that one bit but I wasn’t budging. I only went to church with my wife and kids when I knew that not going would be worse than going. That is, if I tried to skip Christmas mass I was going to be in trouble with my wife so I went.
When the kids would ask about God, Jesus, or any of that stuff I just said, “You have to ask your mother about stuff like that.” If they insisted that I give an answer I would say “Some people believe that and some don’t”. They figured out pretty quickly that I’m one of the don’ts. Neither believes on God now.
That’s all preamble. My wife insists that the kids be confirmed in the church, which happens in 10th grade. After that the kids are off the hook. Our daughter was confirmed this year. Our son will be confirmed next year. Then Christmas, weddings, and funerals will be the only times we will step inside a church.
Mormon.
My half-sister (same dad, different (and very Catholic) mother) was brought up in Catholic schools through high school. She then went to a snooty Presbyterian college (though she’s neither snooty nor Presbyterian). These days, she considers herself a barely-culturally-Catholic and hasn’t seen the inside of a church in a decade. But she looks back fondly on her days in parochial schools, as well as her snooty Presbyterian college. For similar reasons as what Velocity laid out, as well as others (such as emphasis on service).
It did say hypothetical parent, so… I’d probably go with the go until you are 18ish sort of thing. As more of a family thing we participate together in - and that they would be free to ask whatever questions they’d like about the whole thing (thankfully the Pastors and the congregation at large is pretty cool with that attitude).
What if they openly scorned it? Made it perfectly clear that they thought every part of the religion and service were stupid?
1 hour is standard for the dozen or so different meetings I’ve attended regularly or visited. The kids are usually only there for the first or last 15 minutes, the rest of the time being spent at “first day school”.
This is for the liberal silent worship types, not the ones that jumped on the evangelical wagon.
My parents at one point told me I didn’t have to go for their sake but I liked it so it never was a point of contention.
My father was not religious, although he wasn’t dogmatic about it. My mother was interested in church mainly for its social possibilities. The family only went to church on Easter and maybe one other day a year.
Nevertheless, my sister and I had to go to Sunday School religiously (heh) every Sunday until I was out of 8th grade. We were generally gone from home for 90 minutes or so every time.
Much, much later I figured out that the likely reason for this was so that my parents could have some reliable alone time together.
How did this work out? My sister, again much later and after a rather lubricious lifestyle, became born again. I became an atheist. So I guess a lukewarm religious education has zero net effect whatsoever.
This post + your username = 
I picked “when they’re old enough to verbalize…”, but both of ours kept on going through the end of high school. The oldest goes to college locally and attends church as regularly as we do. The youngest doesn’t attend when he’s away at college, but goes fairly often when he’s here.
Could be a Buddhist. You could be a Buddhist. A religion which doesn’t believe in a personal God, has morals to follow, and lots of nice people and really cool temples. Plus great music.
Welcome to the dope. As your post is not really an answer to the OP, I am going to possess myself of the privilege of challenging your apparent assumption that people who are atheists or of some other religion should be just as happy with yours. In fact you make it sound much better than it really is, and it’s all still irrational. Not to mention that there are more than a few nutcase Buddhist sects and believers in the world.
If you are going to attempt to proselytize, be open about it. Feel free to start such a thread in Great Debates. I promise not to go into it.
Christian (Episcopal) here. Confirmation in our church takes place at about age 13-15, somewhere in there usually. Confirmation, broadly speaking, is when you take on the responsibility for your own faith. As an infant, when you were baptized, parents, godparents, and the community made the promises for you; now it’s your turn.
We made both of our kids attend regularly until that age and then required them to go through confirmation class training. In theory we left it up to them as to whether they wished to actually be confirmed (at the time I was not myself confirmed, so it would have been dicey to have required them to do it themselves, also pointless as the whole idea is they are now old enough to make their own decisions, which should certainly include I-don’t-wish-to-be-confirmed). In practice, I will admit that my wife would have made it difficult for them to have refused to go through the ceremony–their being confirmed seemed very important to her. In the end, neither gave her a hard time.
They continued to attend after confirmation, which is…not necessarily standard*, and now, in their early thirties, both continue to see church as a part of their lives. Following confirmation, though, I think we both would have been inclined to let them drop it if that was what they wanted (though I expect my wife would have wanted some clear answers as to why :))
So it’s a combination of 1 and 2…with the caveat that they had to attend through confirmation class.
*Old joke, shortened: There was a bat in the belfry at the ecumenical center, and all the clergy were very exercised about getting rid of it. The Catholic priest performed an exorcism, no luck. The Presbyterian minister harangued it with stories about how it was predestined to find a new home, no luck. The imam promised it 72 virgins if it would leave, no luck. The Buddhist monk explained… [and so on for as long as you can draw it out, then] Finally they called in the Episcopal priest, who confirmed the bat, and it was never seen again.
We go to church on Sunday morning. We is any family member living in my home.
Only takes an hour or so and Sunday dinner is at a nice cafeteria afterwards. Typically sliced roast beef and baked ham. What’s not to like?
Family traditions are nice.
I am so,so,so,so thankful we don’t wear suits to church anymore.
That was the only thing I disliked about church during my childhood. Collar was always too tight. That stupid tie. Itchy dress pants. Dress shoes that weren’t worn enough to break in. Miserable.
Girls had it just as bad with dresses, hose and heels.
I dress nicely and comfortably for church these days.