# Remake THE WIZARD OF OZ using contemporary FX & actors **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755 "2011-12-19T17:50:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/41 "2011-12-20T19:19:27Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Ducking for cover. 😉 But, unfortunately… > > [The Wiz (film) - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wiz_%28film%29) Facts are a crutch for people who do not carry around shotguns. Anyway, I don’t care how much money the Wiz is alleged to to have lost. That’s just Hollywood accounting anyway. It’s the greatest movie ever made, and that includes both Citizen Kane and Lord of the Rings. My shotgun is my cite. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/42 "2011-12-20T19:33:57Z")
This refers to the study I read: [http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/2011/06/asian\_men\_unpopular\_in\_interne.php](http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/2011/06/asian_men_unpopular_in_interne.php) Which refers back to this: [http://asiancorrespondent.com/56797/no-eharmony-with-asian-men/](http://asiancorrespondent.com/56797/no-eharmony-with-asian-men/) ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/43 "2011-12-20T21:08:28Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > I’d swap these two. Nah, Tilda SWINTON (and Sam Jackson) was the first casting to pop into my mind. Plus, I’m envisioning a darker Scarecrow. > [@Tangent](#): > > And I’d spell Tilda’s last name “Swinton.” 🙂 I was thinking this might be her Swan Song … Okay, I got nothing. Also, shut up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/44 "2011-12-20T21:52:05Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > The Scarecrow: Jeff Goldblum > The Tin Man: Keanu Reeves (hey, it’s a short step from wooden acting to metallic acting) > The Cowardly Lion: Me (trust me, I can carry it off.) I was actually thinking Keanu as the Scarecrow. I was also toying with the idea of Tracy Morgan as the Cowardly Lion, but that just proves I shouldn’t be put in charge of a project like this. For the Wizard, I thought of Danny DeVito. Or maybe Christopher Walken. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/45 "2011-12-20T21:58:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > This refers to the study I read: > > [http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/2011/06/asian\_men\_unpopular\_in\_interne.php](http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/2011/06/asian_men_unpopular_in_interne.php) > > Which refers back to this: > > [http://asiancorrespondent.com/56797/no-eharmony-with-asian-men/](http://asiancorrespondent.com/56797/no-eharmony-with-asian-men/) Merci. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/46 "2011-12-20T23:19:36Z")
You can tell how old some dopers are by the actors they cast. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/47 "2011-12-21T00:23:54Z")
_Saoirse Ronan_ as **Dorothy**. _Crispin Glover_ as the **Scarecrow**. _Nathan Lane_ as the **Cowardly Lion**. _Steve Coogan_ as the **Tin Woodsman**. _Gary Oldman_ as the **Wizard**. _Kirsten Dunst_ as **Glinda**. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/48 "2011-12-21T00:38:16Z")
January Jones as Dorothy. Jason Biggs as the Scarecrow. Seth Rogan as the Cowardly Lion. Dane Cook as the Tin Woodsman. Eugene Levy as the Wizard. Jenna Jameson as Glinda. Kim Kardashian as The Wicked Witch. We’ll call it **National Lampoon’s The Wizard of Oh, Fuck You, Viewing Public** ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/49 "2011-12-21T01:10:08Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Can we use Muppets? 'Cuz if so, my work here is done. It’s been done already. [Link](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0422778/) ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/50 "2011-12-21T04:56:03Z")
And, in her acting debut, Ann Coulter as the horse of a different color. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/51 "2011-12-21T07:32:20Z")
Okay, I’m done. While you folks were treating this like some sort of joke, or a thought experiment, I was rewriting and casting my own version. Shooting’s done and in a couple of seconds…aha! There! All the editing’s done. And… give me a sec while I screen the completed film… ah, beautiful… great music, too. Haha, very witty… nice bit with the horse, there. And… Nope. Just destroyed the final print. The Judy Garland version was much better. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/52 "2011-12-21T07:46:27Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > I will simply trust the director to find the cast: > Quentin Tarantino > > Let’s just say there will be blood in Munchkinland, and those Flying Monkeys will be speaking German before they are turned into primate Pâté. This is my vote, as well. And there needs to be a scene where the scarecrow does blow off of Dorothy’s ass, before he rapes and murders Toto. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/53 "2011-12-21T11:19:40Z")
…so, would it be acceptable to use parts of the _instrumental_ score to [Return to Oz](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_cWg4XA8rc)? On that thought, I think Fairuza Balk would probably be a great choice for the Wicked Witch of the West. Her, or[Meg Foster](http://www.skullebrities.com/wp-content/uploads/RS7.jpg). Though if I were casting the movie, I’d at least have to give my aunt a crack at the role—she’s always _loved_ that part, even played it on stage a couple of times, and can get the voice down pat. Back to the cast, I’m thinking John Lahr as the Lion, and [Spencer Bell](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spencer_Bell_%28actor%29) as the Wizard. He was in the 1925 version of The Wizard of Oz…credited as “G. Howe Black.” Playing “Snowball.” :eek: Yeah. Despite the utter horror of that, I rather liked him as a performer, so we’ll bring him back through CGI…or just bring him out of hiding. Seeing [this scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2WFVpSeIfA#t=041m30s), I have a hard time believing that death could actually claim him. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/54 "2011-12-21T16:05:46Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Okay, I’m done. While you folks were treating this like some sort of joke, or a thought experiment, I was rewriting and casting my own version. Shooting’s done and in a couple of seconds…aha! There! All the editing’s done. > > And… give me a sec while I screen the completed film… ah, beautiful… great music, too. Haha, very witty… nice bit with the horse, there. > > And… > > Nope. Just destroyed the final print. The Judy Garland version was much better. You really should have asked for some of the $100 million before destroying the print. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/55 "2011-12-22T15:53:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You really should have asked for some of the $100 million before destroying the print. Darn, I knew I’d forgotten something (in my rush to shoot a feature film in ten minutes). ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/56 "2011-12-22T17:28:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > :: ritually spits at the name of the despised WebberBeast :: > That’s all I need to know. Hmmmm…you have a right to not like him, but you cannot deny Lord Lloyd-Webber’s success. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/57 "2011-12-22T17:31:51Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Hmmmm…you have a right to not like him, but you cannot deny Lord Lloyd-Webber’s success. Um…what’s your point? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/58 "2011-12-22T19:43:49Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Hmmmm…you have a right to not like him, but you cannot deny Lord Lloyd-Webber’s success. But… _“Not everyone in New York/ would pay to see Andrew Lloyd-Webber…”_ – Neil Finn (Crowded House: “Chocolate Cake”) (Great lyrics from a Kiwi: “And the excess of fat on your American bones / will cushion the impact as you sink like a stone.”) ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/59 "2011-12-22T19:55:50Z")
I’m going with the Edgar Wright version. Going to need some work with the casting, but of course it will have to start with Simon Pegg as the Scarecrow and Nick Frost as the Cowardly Lion. Bill Nighy is the Wizard, of course. I’d love to see what Cate Blanchette would do with the Wicked Witch, and Olivia Colman as Glinda. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755/60 "2011-12-22T21:26:00Z")
Hayao Miyazaki should direct it for Ghibli, it’s the only way a modern version could actually work, and avoid the obvious comparisons to the original. Burton and Tarantino are probably the only directors capable of doing a live-action version from a purely visual perspective, unless Coppola can get back to what he did in Dracula. None of them would do the source justice though. The problem is, to do it justice, you need fantastic special effects _and_ brilliant acting, along with a director who can put the story first. The only director to manage all three recently is Christopher Nolan, and I can’t see The Dark Oz Rises working too well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remake-the-wizard-of-oz-using-contemporary-fx-actors/606755.md?page=4)