# Remakes... FROM HELL!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 29, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023 "2006-12-29T20:10:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/21 "2006-12-30T03:39:48Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] Oh come on. I can see this. In fact, I’ll bet it’s in production. Sgt O’Rourke: Benicio Del Toro [/QUOTE] I think Woody Harrelson should play Sgt O’Rourke. Just so that Forrest Tucker’s legacy be respected. Of course, I suppose I _could_ join SAG in a pinch. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/22 "2006-12-30T03:43:06Z")
_Gilligan’s Island The Monkees My Mother the Car_ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/23 "2006-12-30T04:01:06Z")
_Plan Nine from Outer Space_ How could they hope to measure up to the original? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/24 "2006-12-30T04:20:22Z")
_Lost In Space_, with the comedy deleted, Dr. Smith played as \*truly \* evil, and the dollars spent on a whole buttload of extraneous CGI. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/25 "2006-12-30T04:42:36Z")
[QUOTE=Ethilrist] F-Troop. I can’t conceive of how this could be remade in today’s society. [/QUOTE] No way! That could be totally, totally awesome. Sort of a “Catch-22” set on the Indian (American) frontier. Dude, I’m writing this. Or I would. If I was clever. -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/26 "2006-12-30T04:44:00Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] [Guess what?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F_Troop#Feature_film) [/QUOTE] Given the Director’s previous credits, looks like they’re keeping the slapstick/hijinks feel of the orignal. That’s totally wrong! See my previous post. If any remake demands a re-interpretation rather than just a remaking, F-troop is it! -FrL- ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/27 "2006-12-30T05:42:04Z")
The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/28 "2006-12-30T06:38:57Z")
Gladiator with Russell Crowe… but _directed_ by George Lucas ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/29 "2006-12-30T07:00:08Z")
[QUOTE=ElvisL1ves] “Hogan’s Heroes”. Hell, I don’t know how it got approved the \*first \* time. [/QUOTE] Well then how about this for high concept Hogan’s Heroes meets [Auto Focus.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298744/) Talk about writing itself. 😃 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boulter_s_Canary)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/30 "2006-12-30T17:29:22Z")
_Ice Cold in Kabul_ - Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Alan Rickman, Beyonce and Rene Zelwiger drive an ambulace across Afghanistan - all the while dreaming of an ice-cold diet coke in Kabul’s branch of McDonalds _A Matter of Life and Death_ with Jim Carrey, Madonna and Robin Williams. Nobody likes the French these days, so Conductor 73 can be played by The Rock. _The Flight of the Phoenix_ with…oh, wait a minute… ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/31 "2006-12-30T17:50:40Z")
I’m shocked that no one has proposed remaking **The Wizard of Oz** with Lindsay Lohan as Dorothy. But, IMHO, the most appalling would be **Going My Way** with Colin Farrell as Father O’Malley! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/32 "2006-12-30T18:15:44Z")
I recently watched [Stalag 17](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046359/) and briefly thought about how a remake with Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughan, Owne Wilson and Ben Stiller would fly. Hope I never find out… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/33 "2006-12-31T02:53:20Z")
\*Deep Throat, \*starring Phyllis Diller. \*Blue Lagoon, \*starring Ernest Borgnine and Maya Angelou. Richard Simmons IS James Bond! ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/34 "2006-12-31T02:59:54Z")
_Mr. Jackson’s Neighborhood_ starring Michael Jackson. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/35 "2006-12-31T03:32:26Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] Any Bond movie : “Arnold Schwarzenegger IS James Bond !” [/QUOTE] No, no! _Danny DeVito_ is James Bond! ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/36 "2006-12-31T05:05:33Z")
**Planet of the Apes** starring Marky Mark. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/37 "2006-12-31T06:59:27Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] [Guess what?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F_Troop#Feature_film) [/QUOTE] I heard rumors of that a decade ago. I assumed the project died. But then again,the same thing happened with DOOM. Hopefully this turns out better then that. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/38 "2006-12-31T07:59:03Z")
[QUOTE=HPL] I heard rumors of that a decade ago. I assumed the project died. But then again,the same thing happened with DOOM. Hopefully this turns out better then that. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure how it could be anything other than embarassing. I really was being facetious about casting the movie. The script I imagined for it would have been awful. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/39 "2006-12-31T08:29:24Z")
**What’s Happenin’? The Movie** with Will Smith as Raj, Kenan Thompson as Rerun, Coolio as DeWayne, Queen Latifah as Shirley and Angela Bassett as (a now svelte) Mama. **Sunset Blvd** as a remake and reunion vehicle for Cher and Frankie Muniz. Norma’s now a disco diva and Max (Phil Spector) her first manager. **Cat on a Hot Tin Roof** with Demi Moore as Maggie, Ashton Kutcher as Brick, Faye Dunaway as Big Mama and Burt Reynolds as Big Daddy (though with [Leslie Jordan](http://www.brotherboy.com/) as Big Daddy there’d be great potential). **Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner** remade as another starring vehicle for Rosie O’Donnell and Harvey Feirstein, liberal parents who must contend with hypocritical guilt over their son (Neil Patrick Harris) dating their adopted Third World Orphan (B.D. Wong) who grew up to be a Gay Doctor Without a Border… **EQUUS** with Robin Williams as Dr. Dysart and Kevin Federline as Allan Strang. **Annie Hall** remade with Mel Gibson and Barbra Streisand in the Allen/Keaton roles. **Diff’rent Strokes** as a big screen production starring Paris Hilton as Kimberley, Kathy Bates as Mrs. Garrett, Cedric the Entertainer and Chris Rock as the voices of digitally animated Arnold and Willis, and Michael Richards as Mr. Drummond. (Worst scene: Mr. D gets livid when Arnold and Willis try to walk out during his lecture on tolerance.) **Twelve Angry Men** starring Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence or Jim Carrey in every role. Special guest appearance by Joan Rivers. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023/40 "2006-12-31T17:14:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner remade as another starring vehicle for Rosie O’Donnell and Harvey Feirstein, liberal parents who must contend with hypocritical guilt over their son (Neil Patrick Harris) dating their adopted Third World Orphan (B.D. Wong) who grew up to be a Gay Doctor Without a Border.. “What’s wrong with that nice Ellen girl you were dating in school?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remakes-from-hell/386023.md?page=3)