Why would you expect to see space junk at that scale?
Obviously it’s the moon that’s flat, not the Earth. 
There is no far side of the moon, really. Matter a fact, it’s all far.
Some sides are just farther than others.
The rear of the moon? Or mooning with your rear?
No, the “dark side” of the moon is the far side of the moon (i.e. the side we don’t normally see from Earth), regardless of actual exposure to sunlight. That’s why it would have been correct to observe the apparent contradiction in the “so-called dark side of the moon being lit by sunlight”. You had the essence of the paradox, but blew it by using the wrong term.
Curiously enough, the albedo of the far side is slightly higher than the albedo of the near side, since it has fewer dark albedo features. So it should be called the ‘less Dark side’.
“You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.” - Steven Wright
The church of LDS wants a word with you…
How about the Tall, Grande, and Vente Testaments? 