# Remarried Dopers: How similar are your mates? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 9, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655 "2009-12-09T23:46:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/1 "2009-12-09T23:46:29Z")
Open to anyone who has gotten remarried following divorce or widowhood. Serious LTRs are welcome. How similar are your two, five, seventy mates to one another? I’m especially curious if widowed people are more likely to pick similar mates while divorced people are more likely to pick very different ones, so that data would be swell. ---
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/2 "2009-12-10T00:52:44Z")
My husband is very, very different than my ex. It’d be along list to quantify why, but about the only similarity is that they both had dark hair when they were young. My current husband still does, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/3 "2009-12-10T01:03:12Z")
My second husband was worlds apart from my first. My third husband is more like the first one, without all the violence and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/4 "2009-12-10T01:54:28Z")
My second, and hopefully final husband is 180 degrees different from the first. Which is good, because I made a bad mistake the first time! ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/5 "2009-12-10T02:11:45Z")
My current SO (8 1/2 years) is very different from my previous one (4 years). ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/6 "2009-12-10T02:47:53Z")
In some ways very similar…both my ex husband and the love of my life are funny, smart men. My ex however was not ambitious or responsible. And wasn’t monogamous. Which are some pretty major differences. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/7 "2009-12-10T03:27:13Z")
It would be easier to list the similarities between my first and second wives: they’re both smarter than me and they’re both shorter than me. Otherwise, they’re pretty dissimilar. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/8 "2009-12-10T06:01:11Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Open to anyone who has gotten remarried following divorce or widowhood. Serious LTRs are welcome. > > How similar are your two, five, seventy mates to one another? > > I’m especially curious if widowed people are more likely to pick similar mates while divorced people are more likely to pick very different ones, so that data would be swell. I fit your criteria of being a wdower. They couldn’t be more different, with the exception of the blonde hair. late spouse: 5’0", blonde, big boobs. current spouse: 5’11" blonde, um… not big boobs. late wife: Highest level of education: Prep High School graduate. current wife: education: Masters from Tulane. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remarried-dopers-how-similar-are-your-mates/520655/9 "2009-12-10T06:37:59Z")
Completely different in personalities, body styles, every aspect is different. #1 was my childhood sweetheart. We grew up together and could think of nothing we wanted more than to get out of school and marry. And once we did we could think of nothing more we wanted to do. So we divorced in our early 20’s, we live on opposite sides of the country and have seen each other only once in 30 years since. Cute, very short hispanic or amerind woman, she was adopted and didn’t really know her background. #2 was the mother of my sons and we had nothing in common. Not morals, class, education, goals. A physical, rebound relationship. She headed toward self destruction, and I spent the 80’s and 90’s as a single dad. She exists somewhere but not even her sons have had any contact with her for many years. Current and last wife is a wonderful, protective, strong willed, agressive, sweetheart of a tall, flaming redhaired Viking warrior godess. The 3 wives have absolutely nothing in common.