# Remember Bored Of The Rings? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374 "2002-12-28T16:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/1 "2002-12-28T16:45:22Z")
Long ago, when I first read the LOTR trilogy, there was a brilliant parody called _Bored of the Rings_ . It was connected somehow to the Harvard Lampoon. It started with the feast at Dildo Bugger’s house. The depiction of Hobbits showed them as gluttonous dimwits, for comic effect. Strider was Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, Legolas was Legolamb, there were the Riders of Roi-tan, stuff like that. Despite the re-resurrection of the LOTR books, I haven’t seen a re-issue of BOTR, dang it! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/2 "2002-12-28T16:54:27Z")
If you liked that, you should also read _Doon_, by Ellis Weiner. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/3 "2002-12-28T17:14:41Z")
“This ring and no other was made by the elves Who’d pawn their own mother to grab it themselves … If broken or busted it can’t be remade If found, send to Sorehed, postage pre-paid” From the inscription on the ring. Or so said Goodgulf the Rosicrucian wizard, anyway. Don’t forget Gimlet, son of Groin. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/4 "2002-12-28T18:03:39Z")
“Five seven’s your height and one eighty’s your weight You’ll cash in your chips about page 88.” There was a new edition about five years ago (I have it somewhere), but I suspect it didn’t sell: the market for humorous fantasy is distressingly small. Other than Terry Pratchett, you can’t find any, and I’d guess no one is bothering to bring it back for that reason. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/5 "2002-12-28T18:59:49Z")
[Amazon sells it.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0451452615/qid=1041102235/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-6023473-0066340?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/6 "2002-12-28T19:03:56Z")
The book is by Henry Beard and Doug Kenney, but was bylined as by the Harvard Lampoon. Beard and Kenney were the mainstays behind the growing national reputation of the Harvard Lampoon in the mid-60’s, with their parodies of Life and Time magazines. The Life parody was a financial failure, but the Time parody sold well and Bored of the Rings was a bit hit among the college crowd (even though Beard later described it as “a terrible piece of shit”). It’s sold over a million copies in its life, so I suspect that all the editions have sold really well. Its current sales rank on Amazon is an amazing 423! Beard and Kenney had worked with Matty Simmons to distribute the magazine parodies and when they were out of Harvard worked with him again to found the National Lampoon. Beard continued to write brilliant parodies for the Lampoon - yes, this was long enough ago so that you could parody literature and college-aged kids would get the joke - and I rate him as one of the best parodists of the 20th century. It’s doubly sad that his later books are almost all cheap, slapped together ephemeral humor books. They probably made money but it’s a waste of a great talent. ---
**Author:** ![NutWrench](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nutwrench/32/20193_2.png) [@NutWrench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NutWrench)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/7 "2002-12-28T19:24:08Z")
Heh. In _Doon,_ Paul becomes the Kumquat Haagenz-Das. 😃 I liked _Bored of th Rings_ but I find I can only stand it in small doses. ---
**Author:** ![tclouie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tclouie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tclouie)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/8 "2002-12-28T20:21:27Z")
The cover art for BOTR has also changed over the years, much like LOTR itself. The original cover was twisty psychedelia with pigs. The edition now being sold has a more conventional illustration. Damn it! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/9 "2002-12-28T20:46:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tclouie \* > \*\*The cover art for BOTR has also changed over the years, much like LOTR itself. The original cover was twisty psychedelia with pigs. The edition now being sold has a more conventional illustration. Damn it! \*\* For those interested, here’s [the original cover](http://ringlord.com/people/walrus/lotr/botr.html). ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/10 "2002-12-28T20:48:44Z")
We boggies are a hairy folk, We like to eat until we choke. Loving all like friend and brother, And hardly ever eat each other. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/11 "2002-12-28T21:56:35Z")
Anything edible we’ve got dibs on hope we’ll all die with our bibs on ever gay we’ll never grow up Come! And Sing! And Play! And throw up! ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/12 "2002-12-28T22:36:42Z")
Hmmm, it’s been a coupla decades since I’ve read BoTR. Dildo & Frito Bugger Moxie & Popsie Goodgulf Gimlet Legolam Arrowroot …? I remember the map had the countries TwoDor and FourDor on it. Eowyn was an amazonian Valkyrie, complete with helm & weight problem, smittin with scrawny Arrowroot, much to his dismay. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/13 "2002-12-28T22:44:52Z")
_Ahem_ That’s **Pepsi** and Moxie, the Dingleberry twins. Also that was Eorache, the sheep rider, not Eowyn. Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, was also known as Stomper Don’t forget the Hobbit Clotty Peristalt Nor Evil Wizard Serutan at Eisentower Orlon and his Wife the Lady Lycra Lord Cellophane The brothers Bromosel and Farahslax The Ballhog in Andrea Doria Lots of Narcs Fellow rangers Handlebar and Hersheybar Elf lord Garfinkel Sorehed’s ex-wife, Schlob the nine Nozdrul The mighty v-8s And that was all from memory. I wish I could recall important stuff that well. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/14 "2002-12-28T22:52:47Z")
O uncool bush! Unloose this passle Of furry cats that you hassle! Tho’ by speed my brain’s destroyed I’m not half _this_ paranoid! So cease this bummer, down this freak-out, Let caps and joints cause brains to leak-out! These cats are groovy here among us, So _leave em be_, you uptight fungus! * * * Tim! Tim! Benzedrine! Hash! Boo! Valvoline! Clean! Clean! Clean for Gene! First, second, neutral, park, _Hie thee hence, you leafy narc!_ Also from memory. Now if only I could keep my children’s names straight . . . ---
**Author:** ![Tblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tblue)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/15 "2002-12-28T23:02:43Z")
I have a confession to make. At work, it is the book that no-one wants to take home and read! I tried, truly I did but the terrible awful truth was… I got bored reading it! I wonder if different countries have different senses of humour? I think they do, myself. (Heck, we even spell it differently!) And yet. and yet… every so often, I flick open a page and read it for just a little bit. 🙂 Maybe it is best in tiny doses! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/16 "2002-12-28T23:08:42Z")
Hot puppies! Grub! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/17 "2002-12-28T23:13:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tblue \* > \*\*I have a confession to make. At work, it is the book that no-one wants to take home and read! > I tried \*\* Which book do you refer to, Lord of the Rings, or Bored of the Rings? ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/18 "2002-12-28T23:29:38Z")
My favorite is when a narc brandishes a huge faggot “You dieth, GI” screamed the faggot. Had me rolling! ---
**Author:** ![Tblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tblue)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/19 "2002-12-28T23:52:25Z")
Bored of the Rings. (Although, yes, I am also one who found LotR a little tricky on the first go, too. 🙂 Easier on the second.) ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/20 "2002-12-29T00:01:35Z")
“Hairy toes, I _love_ hairy toes!” “They melt in your brain, not in your hands!” “Argle bargle morble whoosh.” “O Dragonbreth! Gilthorpial!” “A esso sysanon decca hi hawaya.” “O movado silvathin nytol nicetaseeya.” “Fear not, I have come to make _peas_ with you!” Dribble. Dribble. Dribble. _Fake_. Dribble. _Shoot_. …and on its chest were the dreaded runes, _Villanova_. “Aieee! A Ballhog!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374.md?page=2)