# Remember Bored Of The Rings? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374 "2002-12-28T16:45:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/81 "2016-09-30T12:24:04Z")
Frito lives!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/82 "2016-09-30T14:45:48Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > “Hairy toes, I _love_ hairy toes!” Ah yes, the “excerpt” that in fact appears nowhere else in the book. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/83 "2016-09-30T15:12:58Z")
“Me beastie. Me do this thing.” And Goodgulf Greyteeth was funny as hell. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/84 "2016-09-30T15:23:24Z")
"And don’t trouble yourself too much if you don’t laugh at what you are about to read, for if you perk up your pink little ear, you may hear the silvery tinkling of merriment in the air, far, far away . . . . It’s us, buster. _Ching!_” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/85 "2016-09-30T15:58:38Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > My favorite is when a narc brandishes a huge faggot > > “You dieth, GI” screamed the faggot. > > Had me rolling! _Yalu, Yalu! Pyongyang Panmunjon!_ shouted the narc chieftain. Frito meets Gimlet, son of Groin: “No sooner had he finished eating than the dwarf sitting to his right turned to him and proffered and extremely scaly hand in greeting. _It’s at the end of his arm_, thought Frito, nervously shaking it, _it’s got to be a hand._” ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/86 "2016-09-30T16:42:53Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > _Yalu, Yalu! Pyongyang Panmunjon!_ shouted the narc chieftain. > > Frito meets Gimlet, son of Groin: > > “No sooner had he finished eating than the dwarf sitting to his right turned to him and proffered and extremely scaly hand in greeting. _It’s at the end of his arm_, thought Frito, nervously shaking it, _it’s got to be a hand._” “May your hemorrhoids shrink without surgery.” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/87 "2016-09-30T16:52:09Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > “May your hemorrhoids shrink without surgery.” “May you always buy cheap and sell dear.” ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/88 "2016-09-30T17:21:14Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > _Mazel tov_, **BrotherCadfael**! All good wishes to the happy couple. > > I still say “Argle bargle morble whoosh?” to express confusion and bewilderment. Thanks for the good wishes! I encouraged her to become the Tolkien junkie she now is - she was a linguistics major, and is able to explain in detail exactly how the ring inscription was, “of an ancient mode”. I will confess, however, that I never thought I’d have Bored of the Rings in mind on her wedding day ten years later. I use “Watusi Snarf Wazoo” from time to time. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/89 "2016-09-30T17:48:22Z")
The book still provides wisdom for our own time: “Oh, the leave are falling, the flowers are wilting, and the rivers are all going Republican.” ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/90 "2016-09-30T18:10:48Z")
I knew it was a lost cause to get this work out of my head when I was watching the scene in the first movie where the dread spirit of the underworld reaches up with his fiery whip and pulls Gandalf into the abyss. And I said, “Dribble. Dribble. Shoot. SWISH!” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![misling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@misling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misling)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/91 "2016-09-30T20:09:30Z")
“Many a hard kilo to the black hole” “No lie, bwana” My husband and I still used this pair of quotes whenever we don’t want to go somewhere that we ought to go… ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/92 "2016-09-30T20:37:28Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > \*Alligator \*never got credited above. It was written by Michael Frith and Christopher Cerf in 1962. They reprinted it in the Harvard Lampoon 1966 Playboy parody, probably the best of the many Playboy parodies. > > It’s unintentionally hilarious today to read commentaries on humor from the late 50s/early 60s in which every single pundit proclaimed humor to be dead and satire impossible. And this led me to Planet Monk Pulps where Alligator is available for 99 cents on Kindle along with a LOT of interesting looking books. > **[PlanetMonk Books®](http://books.planetmonk.com/)** > > planetmonk books®: literature's lost and found. available for kindle from amazon. pulp fiction, novels, short stories,poetry, plays, the rule of st. benedict Just in time for the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/93 "2016-09-30T21:08:50Z")
**BeeGee** : Cool! I just glommed Alligator, and will go back and shop from their other offerings! A fun, silly, nifty, dumb, jolly good resource! Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/94 "2016-09-30T22:56:00Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > \*Alligator \*never got credited above. It was written by Michael Frith and Christopher Cerf in 1962. They reprinted it in the Harvard Lampoon 1966 Playboy parody, probably the best of the many Playboy parodies. > > . I don’t understand what you are saying here. **Alligator** was indeed written by Frith and Cerf, but it wasn’t reprinted in the PLayboy parody – for one thing, it’s too long for that. The Harvard Lampoon Playboy Parody issue DID contain a spoof James Bond story, but it was the much shorter _Toadstool_. I don’t know who wrote it, but Frith and Cerf are likely candidates > **[James Bond uncollected short stories](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Bond_uncollected_and_other_miscellaneous_short_stories)** > > In the 1950s and 1960s, Ian Fleming, creator of the fictional secret agent, James Bond, wrote a number of short stories featuring his creation that appeared in the collections For Your Eyes Only and Octopussy and The Living Daylights. Since 1997, several more short stories featuring Bond or set within the official James Bond universe have been published by authors who continued chronicling the world of Fleming's creation. The majority of these stories have, as of 2008, never been collected in bo... edited to add: I’ll have to dig out my copy of _Alligator_ to check, but I think that “Toadstool” was given in that 1962 parody as another of I_n Fl_m\*ng’s Bond novels. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/95 "2016-09-30T23:18:04Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > I don’t understand what you are saying here. **Alligator** was indeed written by Frith and Cerf, but it wasn’t reprinted in the PLayboy parody – for one thing, it’s too long for that. > The Harvard Lampoon Playboy Parody issue DID contain a spoof James Bond story, but it was the much shorter _Toadstool_. I don’t know who wrote it, but Frith and Cerf are likely candidates > > [James Bond uncollected short stories - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Bond_uncollected_and_other_miscellaneous_short_stories) > edited to add: I’ll have to dig out my copy of _Alligator_ to check, but I think that “Toadstool” was given in that 1962 parody as another of I_n Fl_m\*ng’s Bond novels. That makes sense and is undoubtedly what I was thinking of. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2016, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/96 "2016-09-30T23:44:57Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > I had a copy of it once, but dumped it in one of my periodic “must reduce reading material” binges. > > “O Nasa O Ucla! O Etaoin Shrdlu! O Escrow Beryllium! Pandit J. Nehru!” It’s out in reprint, on Amazon. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/97 "2016-10-01T00:44:16Z")
" In his hand he carried an ancient and trustworthy weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi-automatic." ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2016, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/98 "2016-10-01T03:31:13Z")
“Frito shook his head in wonderment. He wondered how much longer the writers were going to get away with this tripe. He wasn’t the only one.” ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2016, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374/99 "2016-10-02T00:01:20Z")
Honi soit la vache qui rit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-bored-of-the-rings/145374.md?page=4)