# Remember the joke about the penguin who blew a seal....... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754 "2008-05-02T14:58:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/1 "2008-05-02T14:58:40Z")
[BBC Link](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm) Now it’s the seal’s turn! ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/2 "2008-05-02T15:04:19Z")
From the link: _“The South African-based scientists who witnessed the incident say it is the **most unusual case of mammal mating behaviour yet known**.”_ So they don’t have the internet in South Africa? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/3 "2008-05-02T15:13:16Z")
> [@](#): > > The seal may have been frustrated in its attempts to find a partner I can sooooooooo relate… It’s a good thing there were no penguins around when I was in grad school. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/4 "2008-05-02T16:06:24Z")
> [@](#): > > After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/5 "2008-05-02T16:41:08Z")
> [@](#): > > The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it. > > The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail. > The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to insert itself, unsuccessfully. Now if you put this in the back seat of '72 Chevelle you get a pretty clear idea of my first time. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/6 "2008-05-02T16:58:45Z")
Have you ever tried jerking off with flippers? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/7 "2008-05-02T17:08:35Z")
I felt like I was reading an Onion article. I don’t know whether I should be feeling sorry for the seal, but I do. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/8 "2008-05-02T17:20:03Z")
Whatever became of the token “reach around?” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/9 "2008-05-02T17:23:00Z")
“I once out swam a killer whale. But do they call me Orca Racer? No. I once caught fifty fish in a single day. But do they call me Fish Catcher? No. But you fuck _one_ penguin…” ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/10 "2008-05-02T17:31:31Z")
Jeez. Ok, earlier, when I was laughing myself blind at lolcthulhu, I could explain that to my coworkers. How do you explain this? CW: “What’s so funny over there?” Me: “Oh, nothing…just this story about a seal raping a penguin…” ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/11 "2008-05-02T17:36:15Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] I felt like I was reading an Onion article. I don’t know whether I should be feeling sorry for the seal, but I do. [/QUOTE] Umm, I think we were supposed to be feeling sorry for the penguin? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/12 "2008-05-02T17:39:28Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] Jeez. Ok, earlier, when I was laughing myself blind at lolcthulhu, I could explain that to my coworkers. How do you explain this? CW: “What’s so funny over there?” Me: “Oh, nothing…just this story about a seal raping a penguin…” [/QUOTE] This is proof that ANYTHING can be funny. Assault and rape included. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/13 "2008-05-02T17:41:25Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] Umm, I think we were supposed to be feeling sorry for the penguin? :smack: [/QUOTE] I identify more with the seal. 😛 (Needs must when the devil drives, and all that.) Why yes, I am going to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/14 "2008-05-02T17:47:56Z")
I bet the seal never calls the peguin. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/15 "2008-05-02T17:56:13Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] “I once out swam a killer whale. But do they call me Orca Racer? No. I once caught fifty fish in a single day. But do they call me Fish Catcher? No. But you fuck _one_ penguin…” [/QUOTE] _Ding!_ we have a winner!! This thread is really hilarious… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/16 "2008-05-02T18:02:30Z")
(Other seals, singing…) Dopey fucked a penguin, Dopey fucked a penguin! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/17 "2008-05-02T18:17:00Z")
You know this seal’s mom is mortified. Not only is her son fucking penguins, but, of course, it’s all over the damn Internet. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/18 "2008-05-02T18:20:24Z")
## Am I the really first to think/post it? - - - - - - - - PENGUIN LUST! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/19 "2008-05-02T18:27:54Z")
[QUOTE=HazelNutCoffee] I identify more with the seal. 😛 (Needs must when the devil drives, and all that.) [/quote] So, how would you feel if it were a walrus? And how are you doing? :eek: 😉 > [@](#): > > Why yes, I am going to hell. Don’t mind me. I’ll try to make sure I just get on the next bus, so I won’t bother you again. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754/20 "2008-05-02T18:28:51Z")
That’s disgraceful. All of those bystanders (including some recording it, probably on their cell phones)! And not one of them called the police. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remember-the-joke-about-the-penguin-who-blew-a-seal/447754.md?page=2)