# remembering people - techniques **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 8, 2012, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259 "2012-05-08T08:00:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Laudenum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Laudenum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laudenum)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/1 "2012-05-08T08:00:37Z")
I am absolutely atrocious at remembering people, constantly drawing blanks. Are there any techniques that allow you to meet someone once and remember theiir name a year later? All help appreciated ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/2 "2012-05-08T12:10:58Z")
Take a photo and study it every day. Seriously, I’ll be checking this thread, because while that idea might work, I need something less drastic. Even to remember them a week later! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/3 "2012-05-08T12:37:03Z")
There’s a book (maybe even a CD or DVD – can’t remember 😉 ) by a memory expert stage performer who used to be on Johnny Carson, that goes into memory tricks of all sorts. Best I can recall (I only skimmed the book in a bookstore and didn’t buy it) the names thing was a matter of associating facial (or bodily) features with some weirded up version of the name as a linking device. This performer had as his feature bit, calling off the names of the entire audience, one by one, row by row, after only learning their names as they entered the theater. I wish I could remember his name… Something Robbins, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/4 "2012-05-08T12:49:26Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > There’s a book (maybe even a CD or DVD – can’t remember 😉 ) by a memory expert stage performer who used to be on Johnny Carson, that goes into memory tricks of all sorts. > > Best I can recall (I only skimmed the book in a bookstore and didn’t buy it) the names thing was a matter of associating facial (or bodily) features with some weirded up version of the name as a linking device. > > This performer had as his feature bit, calling off the names of the entire audience, one by one, row by row, after only learning their names as they entered the theater. I wish I could remember his name… > > Something Robbins, maybe? [http://putnam.limaohio.com/articles/lucas-20173-memory-techniques.html](http://putnam.limaohio.com/articles/lucas-20173-memory-techniques.html) Basketball star Jerry Lucas shares special memory techniques [http://www.harrylorayne.com/demonstrations/index.html](http://www.harrylorayne.com/demonstrations/index.html) Real People Demonstrating the POWER of Harry Lorayne’s Memory Power, Memory Training Package Nothing yet on Robbins… ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/5 "2012-05-08T23:38:16Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > …the names thing was a matter of associating facial (or bodily) features with some weirded up version of the name as a linking device. This is the standard technique that is described by most memory experts. The idea is that it is easier to remember unusual things than common things. The idea is to note a feature of someone then really exaggerate it in your mind. Then take something about their name and use it or a similar word as a thing or action associated with them. It’s a simple idea and it works, but it’s not as easy to put into practice as it seems. If I get to know somebody I can remember them for the rest of my life, but I have trouble remembering people that I have just met because when I meet them my brain focuses on trying to present a good first impression and it totally turns off the “get their name” function. But if you can look someone in the eye, shake hands, and then also think at the same time, “This guy has a huge nose, and ‘Jack’ rhymes with tack so I picture this guy with a huge tack sticking out of his huge nose” then you’re set. And doing it with 100 people in one shot is amazing. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/6 "2012-05-09T03:01:20Z")
You might just be face blind. I am, and it’s pretty much impossible to get around. There are online tests you can do to check for it, but I don’t have a link right now. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/7 "2012-05-09T10:22:57Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > It’s a simple idea and it works, but it’s not as easy to put into practice as it seems. If I get to know somebody I can remember them for the rest of my life, but I have trouble remembering people that I have just met because when I meet them my brain focuses on trying to present a good first impression and it totally turns off the “get their name” function. But if you can look someone in the eye, shake hands, and then also think at the same time, “This guy has a huge nose, and ‘Jack’ rhymes with tack so I picture this guy with a huge tack sticking out of his huge nose” then you’re set. I’ve heard this a idea a gazillion times, but in my experience, to say that “it’s not as easy as it seems” is a HUGE understatement. In your example, when I meet this guy the next time, I might notice his big nose, but what will remind me to think of the tack? That’s the part I could never figure out. In contrast, if Jack was a taxi driver, _and always dressed like a taxi driver_, then the odds are half-decent that the next time I meet him, his uniform MIGHT remind me that “hack” is slang for taxi driver, and then I MIGHT be lucky enough make the connection to “Jack”. But such a set of connections are very rare, and in my view Occam would say that **Zeldar** ’s performer simply had a great memory. (PS: When I first heard of face blindness, I was convinced that to be my problem. But I have since learned otherwise. I can easily tell faces apart; my only problem is associating them with a name. I’ll often tell my wife something like, “Remember that woman who sat on your left at the party last week? She sent regards.” I remember the person from previous encounters, but can’t remember the name.) ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/8 "2012-05-09T12:17:13Z")
I’m about 6ft tall, so everyone remembers me - even if they only met me in passing once months ago. I on the other hand can’t remember who anyone is. I was raised by toxic parents and was never (or very rarely) spoken to by name - my dad had a nickname for me, but that’s the only name I remember being called. So I grew up not understanding the ‘importance’ of names or remembering them. Caused me some problems when someone set up a facebook page for my old high school, loads of people messaged me and I hadn’t clue who the hell they were, and had to ask. Given that it’s been over 30 years since I last saw any of them, it was nigh on impossible to recognise their faces. I only remembered an ex boyfriend and my fellow Trekkie nerd :o I tend to say “hi” and throw out a name, and then say “oh wait, you’re not so and so” :smack: and generally speaking the person will laugh and say what their name is. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/9 "2012-05-09T12:54:51Z")
“how’s it going (man)?” has been a great substitute for knowing names since the year dot. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/10 "2012-05-09T13:08:12Z")
I just accept that I suck at remembering people. Also, if someone is going to be butthurt that I don’t remember their name (or even that we’ve met) than my attitude is “fuck em”. ETA: works for me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/11 "2012-05-09T13:30:53Z")
> [@Corcaigh](#): > > I tend to say “hi” and throw out a name, and then say “oh wait, you’re not so and so” :smack: and generally speaking the person will laugh and say what their name is. No, no, no! You just never say their name! You say “Hi! How’s it going?” and you just never put yourself in that position. ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/12 "2012-05-09T13:38:43Z")
You should learn mnemonic techniques (which isn’t all that difficult). Among the leading authors are Harry Lorayne und Tony Buzan. One book I would recommend is “The Memory Book” by Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas which you can get real cheap on Amazon. These techniques require some practise, but they do work. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/13 "2012-05-09T14:06:07Z")
> [@Donnerwetter](#): > > You should learn mnemonic techniques (which isn’t all that difficult). Among the leading authors are Harry Lorayne und Tony Buzan. > > One book I would recommend is “The Memory Book” by Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas which you can get real cheap on Amazon. > > These techniques require some practise, but they do work. There are some links to more details about these guys in Post #4. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/14 "2012-05-09T15:53:43Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > …“This guy has a huge nose, and ‘Jack’ rhymes with tack so I picture this guy with a huge tack sticking out of his huge nose” then you’re set… Yeah, you’re set until you run into him a month later and blurt out, “Hey, it’s Big Nose Tack!” mmm (who also sucks at this) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/15 "2012-05-09T16:11:58Z")
[hijack] There’s an old joke that sort of ties in with the theme here. The third grade teacher was telling the kids at the beginning of the year about her unusual name. “Now, boys and girls, my name is Ms. Prussy. And I want you to think of your kitty cat and just put an R in there so it will be easy to remember.” Next morning Little Johnny (who else?) comes in all grinning and greets her, “Good morning, Ms. Crunt.” [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/16 "2012-05-09T18:21:50Z")
I’ve just learned that I have to give myself five minutes or so of conversation before I ask a person for their name. This conversation gives me things to associate the name with, and those associations are stronger (and more useful in general) than the artificial ones in mnemonics. Since everyone always starts with the name, I have to create a chance to get the name again after those five minutes. If I can, I check a name badge or business card for reference, but I’ll also just come right out and ask. I make sure to end the initial conversation with “Good to meet you, x” so that’s the final element in my memory. Even then, recognizing their face is a challenge - even minor changes in hair color/styling, facial hair, makeup, etc. can throw me. (I’m the worst person I know at identifying actors). I’ll often have to link their name to other traits. (Since I work in the tax business, I often joke that I’m more likely to remember a person’s social security number than their name. But it’s actually the face I forget.) One trick I use to keep things straight is to put pictures of people in my contact list. (I use Apple’s Address Book/iCloud, but most of them have that now.) I can use that before and after meetings to help refresh my memory. ---
**Author:** ![dauerbach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c2a13f/32.png) [@dauerbach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dauerbach)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/17 "2012-05-09T18:38:57Z")
I remember when we used to spend hours memorizing faces of incoming freshman in a thing called the facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/18 "2012-05-09T18:46:19Z")
> [@dauerbach](#): > > I remember when we used to spend hours memorizing faces of incoming freshman in a thing called the facebook. It’s not really the same thing, but I have to revisit [Straight Dope Message Board Portrait Gallery](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/index.html) every so often to try to keep my name-to-face memory relatively intact. People who have avoided that opportunity (including myself) are just at the mercy of whatever picture I create in my mind’s eye. I’d estimate that more than half of those pictures are better looking than my own image had been. (There are some old threads with the “put an image on an unknown Doper” theme. Wild and crazy stuff.) ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/19 "2012-05-09T19:59:04Z")
If you need material to practise, just try to learn the names and faces of the members of the South Dakota Legislature by heart (klick on name and scroll down for the picture): [http://legis.state.sd.us/sessions/2012/MemberMenu.aspx](http://legis.state.sd.us/sessions/2012/MemberMenu.aspx) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259/20 "2012-05-09T20:26:54Z")
I knew a guy who always introduced himself as “Robert. That’s Rober **t** not Robbe **r** ” Corny, but it worked. No one ever forgot his name, because they had to take that those few seconds to digest what he said and really focus on his name. That seemed to do the trick for transferring the information from short-term memory to long-term memory. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/remembering-people-techniques/621259.md?page=2)